My son was just about to start his third year at university. After a couple of days of unanswered messages I asked his landlady to check up on him.
His flat mate found a suicide note in his room. Police knocked at our door at 2 am to tell us that he was missing and that they were concerned for his safety.
As you can imagine this has come as a huge shock to us. We didn't see it coming. Friends at uni are as stunned as we are.
The police began a painstaking search of CCTV, bank records, interviewing friends and they had a drone out scanning the infamous suicide hotspot that was mentioned in his note.
It still hasn't sunk in that such a bright and sensible young man would do this. I just wish that he could have spoken to someone/anyone before deciding that taking his own life was his only option.
For almost a week we were in a dreadful state of limbo. We were desperate to hear something and terrified at the same time. His friends from uni were out looking for him, hoping he'd changed his mind and that he would be found alive.
Then we had a call from the police and our world collapsed. His body had been found.
We are utterly bereft by his death. It came as a bolt from the blue and we are all shattered and heart broken and still in deep shock.
Hold your children tight - always...