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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

Our little boy has gone

54 replies

Fi33 · 09/10/2007 21:05

I was wondering if there is anyone out there who has lost their little one like we lost James. He died at the end of July at 5 1/2 months, he was born 3 1/2 months early. He was a little soldier who having been discharged from hospital at the end of May caught an infection in July and died. Its hard to talk to people about as I still don't know how to put into words how I feel and I guess I was just wondering if anyone can identify with how I feel?

OP posts:
MaryBleedinShelley · 09/10/2007 21:07

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lio · 09/10/2007 21:07

So terribly sorry to hear this

I am very fortunate not to have been through this, but I know there are other MN-ers who have been through tragic losses like yours. I hope you will find some comfort in sharing your grief here.

moodlumtheWOOOHOOHOOhoodlum · 09/10/2007 21:09

Oh I'm so sorry. So sorry.

katiebirdie · 09/10/2007 21:09

hey fi33, i have never lost a child but just wanted to acknowledge your message. do you have people you can talk to in person? from my experiences with bereavement the more you talk the better you are able to work it out in your own head. xx

dolally · 09/10/2007 21:10

so sorry fi, for the loss of your little James. You must be so sad.

ScottishMummy · 09/10/2007 21:10

sorry to read your sad harrowing news
thinking about you at such a horrible time

Pelvicfloorlotsofgore · 09/10/2007 21:11

So sorry
((((hugs)))

notnowbernard · 09/10/2007 21:11

So very sorry

I hope you get some relief from sharing your grief here x

misc · 09/10/2007 21:12

really sorry to hear this, My little boy died at 6 months old, again after being poorly, discharged from hospital and getting pneumonia.
Nothing I can say will be able to stop the physical ache I'm sure you are now feeling but I lost my little one 8 years ago and even though I am crying now, it does honestly get better. Thinking of you xx

oreGOREnianabroad · 09/10/2007 21:16

I am very sorry for your loss.

CantSleepWontSleep · 09/10/2007 21:18

So sorry to hear of your loss. I (thankfully) haven't experienced this myself, but a friend of mine did lose his triplets who were born very early - two died almost straight away, and the third after 6 months. He never made it out of hospital. I know that they found it very hard to deal with, but it will get a little easier with time.

Charlee · 09/10/2007 21:19

I am so sorry for your loss.
I can't say i know how your feeling but i hope you have the support you need and the time to grieve and mourn your son.

My thoughts are with your family.

Lizzylou · 09/10/2007 21:22

So sorry for your loss, I am sure there are MN'ers who can help you through shared experiences.

Take care

daisyandbabybootoo · 09/10/2007 21:24

Fi33, I am so so sorry for your loss

I hope you get some comfort from sharing your grief.

{{hugs}}

Califright · 09/10/2007 21:25

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

SpookyBearistheSpookyBear · 09/10/2007 21:26

I'm so so sorry.

CristinaTheAstonishing · 09/10/2007 21:26

I am so sorry for the loss of your little James, Fi33. Try and hang on to all the memories you have of him. I am very sorry.

GreatHauntieWurly · 09/10/2007 21:31

so very sorry for your loss

{{{hugs}}}

SSSandy2 · 09/10/2007 21:31

I'm sorry for your pain and your loss Fi. It must be very very hard for you. To see your child suffer, especially when he is so very small and helpless must be one of the hardest things anyone can have to go through.

1dilemma · 09/10/2007 21:42

Fi33 so very very sorry for you and your family, may little James rest in peace.
There will be someone along son who can say something more helpful.

Pinkchampagne · 09/10/2007 21:48

I am so so sorry to read of the loss of little James.

misc · 09/10/2007 21:50

Not sure if you are still reading, but the reminders I kept of my little boy, hospital tags, photo's, handprint etc are now a real comfort and regularly looked at.
I would just lean on any family and friends as much as you need to, unless you have other children you don't need to do anything other than grieve for now.
Sorry I can't be more help, hope you and your partner are able to comfort each other.

PeachesMcScream · 09/10/2007 22:13

Fi33, I'm so sorry. My bereavement wasn't the same as yours so I don't know exactly, but have an inkling of it. I know it's more difficult than you can put into words, but talking through the story of what exactly happened can help.

There are people who will have suffered as you are doing, you're not alone. Feel free to talk here, I wish I'd known about MN at the time as it would have been somewhere to write down the whole thing of what exactly happened and when. I think some of the bereavements groups like SANDS are quite good for this? I do really feel for you. Maybe find out about a good counsellor as they can sometimes help you talk. Do you have a health visitor who can refer you? Mine did referred me to one at the local hospital and she was lovely and very helpful. There are others on this particular board who can also help talk you through things. Above all, you're not the only one (as I thought of myself for a while) and there are people who are happy to talk. I am very sorry to hear of your loss.
PMxx.

Original poster
Fi33 · 09/10/2007 22:26

Thanks for all these messages... not really sure having posted my message why I was doing it. Guess I am just coming to terms with what has happened, its real. Don't think I want counseling, don't want the pain to go, its my link to James. Can't now remember his cry... thats not fair.

We have another little boy who is 17 months and is an absolute joy and handful. He has kept us sane at the same time kept us on our toes and has shown us the goodness of life.

Fi33

OP posts:
VeniVidiVickiQV · 09/10/2007 22:28

Im so sorry fi