Am feeling much much worse - I think the shock is wearing off now

[Mummy2TandF]

I really didn't want to keep posting and depressing people, especially as you have all been so kind but I am having a really bad time atm , I feel so alone and I can't stop crying . All my rl friends have been saying how brave I have been but I am worn out trying not to cry in front of them They all have their own lives and they don't need me sobbing I phoned my bf the other evening and couldn't even talk, just sobbed and she said "what's the matter" I just snapped at her and said - Oh, I can't begin to imagine what could be wrong with me . I feel angry and sad and alone
Toby looks out of the frech doors every night now and says, goodnight Daddy in the moon, I love you - I told my mum tonight that he does this and it breaks my heart every time and she said that I had to tell him to stop because I will turn him into a morbid child .... Honestly, do you all agree with her?

morning, just come on to say hello and send you a Tuesday squeeze.
xx

Beller - Have replied
Spink - Thank You
MummyPoppins - Thank you sooo much (you know what for)
and somebody sent me something for Toby and Freyas birthdays, which was so nice - I don't know who you are but thank you sooo much.
I have loads to say, but am really busy today, will pop back later to update everybody. Thanks again

You are absolutely more than welcome...........look after yourself

have been thinking about you so much mummy2

I hope you are finding coping a little easier, though i suspect it'll be a long while yet... just wanted you to know you are very much in my thoughts. xx

Thanks again everyone for thinking of me again - I did come back on here to update on things but tbh I am in a bit of a state this evening I felt fairly strong today and Beller came to see me which was really nice - she is a hit with the dc's, but the cloud has covered me again I can't believe it is 7 weeks today I just want him back, I don't want life to move on, it is not right - I really miss him am too upset to type, I can't see the keybiard properly, Takc Care xx

i have been following your thead for a quite few weeks now and just want to say how incredibly strong you are. I can't really think of much more to say that someone else hasn't already said much better than i could other than I you and your dc are in my thoughts i hope that you are ok.

I have never found the right words to say and so that is why i haven't posted yet but i just wanted to let you know that you are in my thoughts.

Keep strong xx

Hi mummy2TandF -
It was really good to meet you and you do outwardly come accross as very strong, but i know inside you are crumbling...but thats fine too ! 7 weeks is such a short space of time to even nearly come to terms with everything, and i know the thought or "normal" life scares you as well. All this is normal hun, and like i said last night there is no right or wrong way to feel at the moment.
We will definately sort out an evening soon for when T and F are in bed and have a take away. Your children are fab and really are a credit to you and Craig, an dI really meant it when i said im just at the end of the phone..and literally 10 mins away .
Bigs hugs hun...will mail you later xxxxxxxx

Mummy - you are doing amazingly well, you are so so strong. It's a lovely idea about the party for your DCs. Hope you umanaged to get some sleep last night.

On a practical level, what can we do to help?

misypeaks - Thank You the invitiations have just arrived, they are great.
Sorry, I don't feel up to posting at the moent, I feel really down and lethargic (sp?) Will pop back later

Glad they're there. If you need anything else you know where i am. Take care of yourself.

Hey Mummy, how are you feeling today?

Hi M2T&F just checking in. Hope you're ok. Give us a shout if you need anything. Hugs to you and LOs

How are you getting on with organising the children's birthday party?

Hi mummy2tandF -
offer of Lunch still stands for sunday!! Hope youre feeling a bit better today? Text me if you fancy it xxxxx

Sorry everyone, am still not really feeling up to posting, have been having quite a few bad days, I didn't even get dressed one day I took the dc's to a couple of playgroups this week and because of half term next week they sang happy birthday to dd I had to leave and come home I don't think I am going to be able to get through the birthday party . I have sent out the invitations (thanks again mistypeaks) but I need to organise a cake and buy the dc's presents I really don't want to - I know that is really horrible but I normally love buying their presents but I can't even bring myself to look and I am running out of time Sorry can't post anymore, will try to come on tomorrow

hear hear califright.............If I wasnt going to be away I would drive down and help.

People wil be worried about undermining your ability to cope whilst secretly wondering on how on earth they would them selves be coping so you must ask. Everyone will rally round thats human nature.

have you had any support from your doctor of Health Visitor ? Dont be afraid to get something to help you sleep. Somehow that makes things better if you can a least feel a bit refreshed.

I will try and look in whilst I am away.

BE STRONG. Did you get your benefits sorted ?

MP xxxxxx

If you need me to come over and help with cake organisation or present organisation I will. I now know i'm not far. I'll also come to the party if you like (+ the little horrors) at least knowing you from here I know that you need some support and can take you outside if needs be or keep an eye on your brood while you take 5 minutes?? Let me know. i'll help in any way I can.

I have never known a person who has the strength like you have it is hard enough looking after two young children nevermind having to go through what you are at the moment, so what if you spend a day in your pj's just take everyday as a new day and keep smiling for your lovely children. You are stronger than you think xxxxx

Hey you, just been thinking about you... hope today has been a better day x

Hi mummy2tandf - What date is the birthday party hun? If you dont feel like shopping for the pressies, maybe I could either come with you, or get them for you? xx

Hi Beller - the party is 4th November, it's not just the presents - I need to organise a cake and party bags and everything It all feels too much because I don't really want to do it, I don't feel like celebrating - I am going out today to get dd a birthday card because her birthday is this Sunday, but I don't want to sign it with just Mummy Sorry, I need to snap myself out of this, will try to post later

Hi M2T&F, I'm glad to see you are still posting - I'm so sorry it is all so very hard for you at the moment. You are doing well even when it doesn't feel like it. Your DD's birthday is a huge step to overcome. Keep at it and do ask friends or family for help with all the things you can't face.

Could you put from Daddy too in the card? I don't know if that would make you feel worse - sorry if it would - but it may make DD happy to feel that he is still sending her birthday wishes, and it might be easier for you.

mummy2TandF - I am not around on the 4th, but i am on the 3rd, the sat...so could come over and help with the party bags etc....if you like Ill sort out a cake..my pressie to them?