Active discussions

Please or to access all these features

Talk
Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My mother found my father dead this morning

99 replies

milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 03/09/2007 19:43

After two MC in three months, the last only a month ago I had a phonecall this morning to say my dearly beloved father died unexpectedly this morning. My Mum found him in his armchair in the lounge as if asleep.

I am gutted, gutted, gutted... too much to take on board especially after my two MCs

OP posts:
Original poster
milfAKAmonkeymonkeymoomoo · 03/09/2007 20:54

Just sat here wondering what to do next? DD was ill last night so I am knackered but too wired to sleep.

I saw my Dad on Saturday and he looked so well, playing with DD and smiling and joking. I want to remember him like that, don't think i can face seeing his body but part of me wants to to say goodbye..

OP posts:
tortoiseSHELL · 03/09/2007 20:59

So sorry - what horrible news for you. xxx

MaryAnnSingleton · 03/09/2007 21:01

really very sorry for your loss - what a terrible shock

PanicPants · 03/09/2007 21:02

God, thats awful.

So so sorry for you and your family.

berolina · 03/09/2007 21:03

I'm so very sorry that you are going through such a dreadful period of one loss after another.

harpsichordcarrier · 03/09/2007 21:04

how dreadful for you, and your mother.
I am very sorry for your loss.
sending love, HC xx

startouchedtrinity · 03/09/2007 21:09

Am so sorry. xxx

Hassled · 03/09/2007 21:13

I'm so sorry. My father died very suddenly and the not saying my goodbyes bit was one of the hardest things to cope with - you have all my sympathy. In my case I was very glad it was a sudden death and that there was no pain, etc., but I do think they are harder for those left behind to come to terms with.
Re your last post - going to see his body did help me a great deal - I said everything I wanted to then. But I do understand about just wanting to remember him playing with your DD.

PippiLangstrump · 03/09/2007 21:15

I am so so sorry Milf.

when i went to see my FIL to say goodbye he was so different, not really himself. I am glad i did but I want to remmeber him playing with DD and laughing.

marthamoo · 03/09/2007 21:17

I am really sorry - what a dreadful shock for you all.

Aero · 03/09/2007 21:20

So sorry.

Boco · 03/09/2007 21:23

Really sorry
Awful news, hope you're ok.

Peachy · 03/09/2007 21:24

So sorry

Sounds like he went peacefully

XX

purplemonkeydishwasher · 03/09/2007 21:28

oh god
i'm so sorry for your loss

GreebosWhiskers · 03/09/2007 21:32

So sorry Milf

mummytojess · 03/09/2007 21:35

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Dinosaur · 03/09/2007 21:36

I am sorry for your loss. That is a heavy blow after two mcs.

francagoestohollywood · 03/09/2007 21:37

so sorry

hazygirl · 03/09/2007 21:40

so sorry and hugs to youx

evenhope · 03/09/2007 21:46

My dad died unexpectedly at the age of 62 so I really feel for you. Like you I'd only seen him a few days before and my last memory was of him smiling and waving goodbye. That got me through the first dark months.

I made the decision not to see him at the chapel of rest and didn't regret it. You are the only one who can decide whether it is what you want to do.

FloriaTosca · 03/09/2007 21:58

I am so very sorry to hear of your dreadful loss both for you and your mother...I truly understand how you feel as I too lost my darling Dad in March, 6 months after a late (17wk) m/c..though not quite so unexpectedly (we thought we had 6 months)...it was such a shock..... it truly feels like the end of the world... it is so unfair....as if the whole world and life in general is against you... the only consolation is that he didn't suffer..that your memories of him are of someone laughing and vibrant rather than ailing.. people will tell you that time is a great healer but it doesn't help right now..I can only offer you my deepest condolences and wish you peace of mind as soon as possible.

AnnainNZ · 03/09/2007 22:03

Sorry to hear about this.

My dad died last year and although it wasn't totally unexpected in my case, it's still such a shock.

Take it easy the next few days, as much as you can. If people offer to do things for you and your family, let them. You may find random little things remind you of your dad - cry as much as you need to. I met up with a friend last week who lost both parents last year, we were talking about them and my dad and both ended up crying again! Doesn't matter - cry as long as you need to.

It'll probably get a bit easier after the funeral - I felt sort of in limbo till then - couldn't concentrate on anything else. Thinking of you and your family.

MamaG · 03/09/2007 22:14

I'm so very sorry

daisydreams · 03/09/2007 22:33

So Sorry for you and your mum. Do what feels right for you, take time. Thinking about you. ((((()))))

ju · 03/09/2007 22:41

Milf so sorry for you.