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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My baby girl died aged 19 hours

284 replies

itmsylifeitsnowornever · 08/02/2020 18:46

My beautiful baby girl was born at 35 weeks. She died aged 19 hours. I don't know how we get through this.

OP posts:
Fredastaireatemyjamsandwich · 08/02/2020 20:11

I am so sorry to hear about Eleanor. Congratulations on being her Mum. Please be very kind to yourself xx

Petals000 · 08/02/2020 20:11

RIP baby girl. Can't imagine what you are going through darling. I really hope you have every bit of support possible. You must be breaking. I hope you get some answers, lots of love ☹️❤️❤️

bobstersmum · 08/02/2020 20:11

I can't even imagine what you are going through op, so so sorry for your devastating loss

Whatsyourflava · 08/02/2020 20:11

I’m so sorry I don’t know what to say
Eleanor sounds like the name of a beautiful angel 👼🏼 It’s my favourite name ❤️❤️❤️
Just horrible so so sorry xxxx💔

NothingWrong · 08/02/2020 20:14

The circumstances of her death sound utterly terrifying and shocking. I can not begin to imagine the trauma you're in right now. I know I wouldn't cope. Were you still in hospital when she passed? What unimaginable cruelty life throws us.

Mlou32 · 08/02/2020 20:14

I'm so sorry for your loss. Rest in peace baby girl.

lowlandLucky · 08/02/2020 20:14

What awful news, i hope you and your family are being cared for. You will always be Eleanors Mummy and she will always be your Daughter. Flowers

avocadoze · 08/02/2020 20:15

Flowers for your little girl

MidsomerBurgers · 08/02/2020 20:16

Flowers for you and Eleanor Flowers

sockittome123 · 08/02/2020 20:17

Flowers for you OP, you'll always have MN to turn to in the hours, days, weeks, months and years after the loss of your beautiful Eleanor.

Ilovepinot · 08/02/2020 20:18

Life can be very cruel, so sorry for your loss.

LittleSwede · 08/02/2020 20:18

So sorry Flowers Eleanor is a beautiful name x

XXcstatic · 08/02/2020 20:18

You will always be Eleanors Mummy and she will always be your Daughter

This. So sorry for your loss. If you have other children, Winston's Wish is a great charity for supporting children who are bereaved - www.winstonswish.org

FruHagen · 08/02/2020 20:22

Truly sorry to hear that.

Take care of yourself and take everything only moment to moment, second to second.

Rest In Peace Eleanor.

pepinanalilyplant · 08/02/2020 20:22

So very sorry Thanks.

Original poster
itmsylifeitsnowornever · 08/02/2020 20:22

Oh gosh I wasn't expecting so many replies. I feel completly numb right now. They've taken her away. I don't know where to. I just want to sleep. Then when I wake up, it will all be a nightmare. We were supposed to be going home today. I want to go home. But I don't want to leave my baby girl. I have had this feeling throughout the pregnancy that she wouldn't be coming home with me. From day one. At every scan I expected them to tell me she had gone. Then my waters broke at 35 weeks. I thought I would lose her then. Then when my contractions didn't start, I thought I was losing her. Then I was induced and again contractions didn'tstart right away. I thought I was losing her. Then contractions started. Her heart rate dropped. I thought I was losing her. Then she was born via c-section. She didn't cry straight away. I thought I was losing her. The she cried. They gave her to me. I thought finally, I could protect her. I was going to lose her. She was mine. She was coming home. Then I lost her.

OP posts:
Nomorepies · 08/02/2020 20:23

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Coniferhedge · 08/02/2020 20:25

So sorry to hear this. Sending you love xxx

pepinanalilyplant · 08/02/2020 20:26

I'm so sorry @itsmylifenowornever. So heartbroken for you. Wish we could take your pain away. Sending you love and strength. ThanksThanksThanks

OhTheRoses · 08/02/2020 20:26

Different circs OP but I know. Eventually it stops hurting so much and inch inch you come to terms with it.

In years to come you will look back with sadness but also to the happier times that come afterwards. I promise. Flowers

RIP Eleanor.

Nomorepies · 08/02/2020 20:27

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ on the poster's request.

Borntobeamum · 08/02/2020 20:29

I’m so sorry. I’m sending you love and a warm hug x x

IScreamForIceCreams · 08/02/2020 20:29

May your star sprakle for an eternity little Eleanor. Much love to mummy and daddy.

JaxOdin · 08/02/2020 20:30

I'm so so sorry ThanksThanks

MrsAgassi · 08/02/2020 20:31

I'm so very very sorry for your loss Flowers