Viewing my Mum before the funeral

[MissKittyBeaudelais]

My mum passed away last week. The funeral is on Monday 21st.

We are a small family and I have just one sister who assumed I would go with her to view mum’s body. We are not allowed to see her yet but the time is coming. I don’t want to. I didn’t want to see my step dad either when he died 15 years ago. I assumed it’d be different with my mum but again, I don’t want to. I was alone with her at the hospital bedside, as she passed away. I feel that that was my goodbye.

However, family are surprised about my decision and I’m now starting to question myself. Will I regret NOT seeing her? Will I regret it if I DO see her. My sister and I have arranged the funeral/chosen her clothes/contributed to the eulogy together. But this one thing, I’m just not sure what to do.

Can anyone else possibly share thoughts on this? Thank you.

My father passed recently and it was a difficult time at the hospital..I chose not to see my dad as I was still in trauma from his death..my mum and Sis went to the chapel of rest and said he looked lovely but there is no way I could of gone. I dont regret it either thankfully sorry for your loss ..its a truly horrible time

Yesterday was hard. And wonderful. And my lovely mum would have loved it all because we were all there for her and she was very clear about what she did and didn’t want. That bit is over now and there is a sense of relief.

I’m not expecting too much of myself right now.

Thank you all for such kind support. xxx

@2018SoFarSoGreat. That sounds so beautiful.

My Mum died of cancer and I was at her bedside in the last week. I gain a lot of comfort knowing it was her time to go.

I hadn't planned on seeing her body in the funeral home, but my sisters sort of encouraged me. I didn't feel pressure, but did decide I would go. I regret it. They made her look 'well' and I found it creepy. I am a scientist and found myself wondering how they did it (sorry if that sounds crass). I have made peace with my decision though.

When my father died I wasn't with him but saw him in hospital very soon afterwards. I didn't see him in the funeral home, but I think he would have looked much the same as he had not had a long illness.

There's no right or wrong unless you feel pressurised. I think you just need to make peace with what you decide.

I am so sorry for your loss OP. Time does help.

I didn't see my dad as I wanted to remember him alive. No regrets. Do what you feel you want to do.

I'm sorry for your loss