*trigger warning* suicide

[IGiorni]

My husband took his own life this morning. I have family around me but I just can’t talk. I don’t know what to do.

@Igioni

I'm so sorry to hear this. Sending lots of hugs your way

I'm happy to listen if you decide you need to off load x

I’m so sorry

There will, sadly, be people on here who have been through this too. You can ‘talk’ here any time, there will be someone to listen. Do you have DC?

I'm so sorry. I lost my husband the same way, it makes no sense does it?

I can tell you though, it gets better, it really does - I lost all will to live, but I can promise you, it does get easier. three years on and I am coping, and life is actually good again.

Am a bit of a night owl, so will be around if you want to talk. for you sweetheart.

I'm here too if you need to talk. I've been through this too and felt I had no one to talk to either. You are not alone. Sending you some hugs from across the channel.

Thank you all. I have an 8 year old DS, he is devastated. I feel numb, I feel sick. It just doesn’t feel real at all. I don’t know how to even begin to cope. I found him and I feel like that image will be burned into my mind forever.

Oh IGiorni, I can't imagine how awful that was, thankfully my DH didn't end his life at home and I wasn't the one to find him. Is DS with you? Will you be with family overnight, ie. someone there with you tomorrow morning?

I am sending you the biggest hug I can over the internet.

Another to have experienced it.

I am so so sorry for your loss.

I am glad there are people around you to talk or hold you when you are ready.

Sending love x

So sorry, hope you have rl support x

I'm so so sorry for your loss, I am up for a while yet and here to listen.

I'm so sorry for you and your ds, we are all here for you. Sending you love and strength

I'm so sorry for your loss.

So sorry for your loss. Lots of Love & strength to you and your DS

I have lots of support but I just can’t even begin to put into words how I feel. I just managed an hour or so of sleep and woke up panicking. I feel so sick. I’m so worried about everything.

I'm so sorry for your loss.

I'm.another one who has experienced this and my D'S was also 8 at the time.
There is no right way to handle this but my advice would be to take it an hour at a time.
It is a horrific thing to happen to you and finding him must have been incredibly traumatic. In my case, I went on antidepressants almost immediately as I'd witnessed it and knew I had to keep it together for my D'S and older DD.
I cried a lot those first few months and it was pretty awful. I won't sugarcoat it. But you will get through this. Two years on and both my DC and I are in a very different place.

For support you can try

WAY ( Widowed and Young) an amazing support organisation.

BBSSI. Bereaved by suicide and Self Injury group on FB

Winstons Wish for bereaved children

Bereaved Children UK

My love, it is going to be hard. You may feel you can't get through this. But you can. So many of us have stood in your shoes and we are reasonably ok now. Please remember you are not alone and there are people who can help you get through the next days and weeks . Try and be kind to yourself. Try and drink tea or soup or anything that you feel you could eat.

Again, I'm so terribly sorry for your loss and your experience .

Thank you so much, that’s really helpful. I am so sorry to all of you who have been through similar. I need to try and get my head around the logistics and all of the mundane things that need doing but I just can’t even comprehend it all yet. I feel guilty, angry, terrified, so many things, but it’s like it’s not real. I need to be strong for my son and I don’t know how.

Sorry x posted with you Igiorni

What you're feeling is normal. You have had a terrible terrible shock and your life has changed in an instant.

Those feelings of panic and anxiety will pass but for now all I can suggest is recognising that you don't need to think so much about the future. I know what it's like to feel overwhelmed by the worry and panic. Your mind will be processing all the trauma of today and I'm sure it's horrendous right now.

Things do have a way of working themselves out. I don't mean to be dismissive or flippant, I just wanted you to know that these feelings are natural and will pass.

Don't feel you need to put into words about how you feel. It's very very early days.

We're here .

( I remember trying to ground myself with breathing exercised when the panic and grief became unbearable . It worked a lot of the time)

Sending you all the strength in the world.

Hoof x

Here too, my Mum died this way. So sorry for your loss. One day at a time, one hour at a time. It's ok for your son to see you upset. Keep talking. You are in shock, sweet tea

Managed a couple of hours of sleep, feeling slightly less shaky now. This is just horrific. You hear stories and just don’t think it will happen to you.

I am so so sorry for your loss.
If this isn’t the wrong thing to say, I would consider arranging with the funeral directors to see him ASAP.
Seeing him in a more peaceful setting (my mum looked beautiful) May help to get that last image out of your head a bit and help you feel more sad than traumatised if that makes sense.
We are with you, take care of yourself. Baby steps, and lots of cuddles for DS, let him see you cry xx

Yes I’m going to go today. I wanted to take him some clothes and belongings anyway but I agree that seeing him at peace might help a little. We’re staying at my parents at the minute so we have people around us.

My heart breaks for you. Did you have any idea it was coming?
It’s ok to feel angry with him and tell him off either in your head or out loud!! It is so difficult to understand.

I am sending love and support your way. This is horrid. So very sorry it happened and that you had to find him. I agree seeing him at peace may be helpful.

💐

I'm so sorry.

Nobody ever thinks for a second that these things will ever happen to them or their family.
My sister lost her husband suddenly 5 years ago. The shock was horrific and I'm only a SIL. I had no clue what to actually say to my sister or children. Sorry just felt like the understatement of the century.

My sister got through it with a lot of support from friends and our parents who luckily live nearby. I have always done what i can but distance and my own kids mean my day to day practical support is limited.

I am so sorry lass. Sending you hugs and support

He had mental health issues so the likelihood was always going to be increased. I do feel a bit angry with him for leaving us but at the same time I know he wasn’t coping and if he’d got to that point he may have been beyond help anyway. I feel guilty as well because we’d argued and I didn’t say goodbye to him. There was no note or message though so he’s obviously just snapped and if it hadn’t been that it might have been something else that tipped him over the edge. I feel more sad than anything now, I’m sad that we couldn’t help him, sad that I have lost my best friend and sad for everyone else who will miss him terribly. Thank you so much for all your kind words.