My son was born sleeping

[Ethan12]

I gave birth to my son Ethan last tues (at 38+3) knowing his heart had already stopped. My whole world has come crashing down. On the thurs I was due to have a sweep to bring on labour, because I was under a consultant for monitoring.

It's such a cruel and unfair world. I have now lost every single baby I have carried. 3 losses now, the first 2 were in the first trimester which was bad enough. But this one...😭

Now I have to go and register the death of my little man and arrange his funeral. He is so handsome and perfect. How can this be?

And how the hell do I decide what to wear to his funeral?

Do I wear black or white?

Colour?

How am I suppose to pick a outfit for when I have to say a lady goodbye? 😭😢🌠💔💙😇

I am so sorrry for the loss of your beauticful baby boy Ethan. I will be thinking of you and your husband tomorrow morning.
Sending you lots of Love. x

Ethan I'm so sorry

There is a support group on FB called:

Sands, the stillbirth & neonatal death charity

I found it made me feel less alone. They have a website and phone number if you aren't on FB.

I am so so sorry for your loss

I am so sorry to read this💐

I’m so sorry darling.

So sorry

I can't imagine how you are feeling. I'm so sorry for your loss and wishing you lots of strength for the journey ahead. Be kind to yourself xx

I'm so sorry about Ethan.

Wear whatever you like to the funeral, it doesn't have to be black.

I’m so sorry for your family and little baby Ethan
It must be so hard, be very kind to yourself

I’m so sorry for your loss.

I wore a mainly black dress to my baby’s cremation but a more colourful one to the memorial service. Honestly, you can wear whatever you want and fits. Nobody will be callous enough to criticise you for it.

As for your milk, my hospital gave me medication to stop it coming in so do ask. You should also be able to get a special phone number to call to arrange registering your son’s birth and death (which should be done within five days) so that the person answering knows to be as gentle as possible. I cried lots during the registering but the people there were incredibly kind and I am sure you will find the same.

I'm so sorry .

Oh my lovely.... your post is heartbreaking. So sorry for the loss of your beautiful Ethan. xx

I’m so sorry This happened to a good friend of mine and I just want to echo what others have said, there is no right and wrong. Just do whatever you feel.

I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your dear son Ethan.

Our son Edward was stillborn in May last year at 38+2, he too was so incredibly perfect and my world completely imploded after losing him.

The only advice I can give you is take things one day at a time. Don't push yourself.

If you want to wear brightly coloured clothes for his funeral then that is fine, there are no rules.

For me, the funeral was very very difficult. I couldn't decide on music, it broke my heart too much. In the end our chaplain picked a song out for us and I managed to pick one too but it was so hard.

A year on and both me and my DP are still heartbroken but we have muddled through this far and the world isn't quite so painful.

Things won't necessarily get easier for you, OP but they do change. The grief becomes part of you and although it is always there, it becomes less debilitating.

Once again, I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boy. If you ever want someone to speak to who knows how you feel, please feel free to send me a message.

Lots of love x

Sending love to you and your baby Ethan. I'm so sorry for your devestating loss.

I am glad the hospital are being supportive.
Sorry about your inlaws. That must be hard to deal with.
Tomorrow will be hard but you will amaze yourself with what you can endure.

I just wish you didn't have to.

So sorry for your loss . RIP Ethan. Take any help offered to you. Arrange the funeral, how you like. A recent childs’ funeral I have sadly attended have been wear what you usually wear, rather than black. Big hugs 🤗 to you, be kind to yourself and take one step at a time no rush.

I'm so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby Ethan. What a lovely name you have chosen for him. He never knew anything but love. Take care xx

I'm so so sorry for your loss

I'm so very very sorry to hear of your tragic loss. Please do ask for drugs to stop your milk - I really don't understand why these aren't offered as standard. I had to ask but was given them without question when I did. Everyone is different but I found that registering the stillbirth of our dd helped a little. I found comfort in making her official, almost as proof that she really had been here. I wore pastels to her funeral, I remember feeling strongly that black was not for a baby girl but I didn't want bright colours like a carnival either. I don't actually think it matters what you do as long as you do something to show the importance of your precious son

I am so very sorry about the loss of your beautiful Ethan.

Sands is a nice group.

I'm so sorry xx

💐

I'm so sorry, I can't even begin to imagine😢 I hope you get through this with your husband. It really is a cruel world sometimes

I am so sorry for your loss