My son was born sleeping

[Ethan12]

I gave birth to my son Ethan last tues (at 38+3) knowing his heart had already stopped. My whole world has come crashing down. On the thurs I was due to have a sweep to bring on labour, because I was under a consultant for monitoring.

It's such a cruel and unfair world. I have now lost every single baby I have carried. 3 losses now, the first 2 were in the first trimester which was bad enough. But this one...😭

Now I have to go and register the death of my little man and arrange his funeral. He is so handsome and perfect. How can this be?

And how the hell do I decide what to wear to his funeral?

Do I wear black or white?

Colour?

How am I suppose to pick a outfit for when I have to say a lady goodbye? 😭😢🌠💔💙😇

I'm sorry for your loss.

You don't have to wear black.

You could arrange for everyone to wear colour tops. Pink. Blue. Green
So then it's a bit more happy.

I'm so sorry I'm not good at this but did not want to read and run.

It must be so hard and I could not imagine what you are going through right now. You're a very strong person.

so many flowers for you OP and your beautiful Angel baby xx.

im so sorry for your losses.

What ever you decide he will be proud of his mummy xx

So sorry for your loss, do whatever you want to get through and honour your little boy xx

Thank you. I just can't believe this is happening. It's not fair, to carry him for 38 weeks and then have him cruelly snatched away. My body aches for our beautiful boy so much and my breasts are crying out for him with buckets of milk 😢

Oh ethan.. I feel your pain. My little boy was born sleeping 14 years ago now. I remember this pain so clearly.

Dont worry about what to wear.. It honestly could not matter less. What matters is that you say goodbye in a way that you will look back on in years to come and say yes that's the right way to have done it.

You have a long horrible road ahead of you.. One step at a time.. That's all you can do one tiny step at a time.

Look after yourself..

I am so sad to read this and so sorry for you op. Life is cruel beyond belief I don't know why these things have to happen. I can't imagine how you feel I have no advice. I hope you have family and friends that can take care of you. Sending love. Rip baby Ethan x

Ethan was with his mummy, surrounded by her love for all of his life. It's desperately unfair that it was so short and I am so so sorry for your loss. Be guided by your gut reactions not what others think you should or shouldn't do. Sending love xxx

So so sorry for your losses

I’m so sorry for your loss. Little Ethan knew nothing but love and warmth and safety his whole life. But your loss is enormous and I’m not trying to belittle that in any way. I’m so sorry.
I don’t think anyone will care what outfit you wear. Please don’t worry about that. Just be kind to yourself and those around you. Talk about him, or not as you wish. 💕

So so sorry for your loss xx

I am so sorry for all that you have been through...just try to get through the next few weeks making use of as much of the support you have around you. Choose whatever you want to wear and don't worry about it, nobody else will care or notice. Good luck and sending lots of hugs...

I am so very sorry.
Can you take someone with you to the registry office? The staff are usually very kind but I think its better to go with support.

Your Ethan's funeral can be anything you wish it to be. You can wear, say and do whatever feels right to you. There is no right or wrong way.

It may help to know that most funeral directors do not charge for children. Some do so if finance is an issue its best to ask what their charging policy is.
They will be able to help you with the organisation of everything.

Take care of yourself.

Thank you. My husband and I are both going tomorrow. The hospital have a bereavement centre and very kindly made the appointment for us, and they are also paying for the funeral arrangements. The hospital chaplain is also going to be there, we are not religious people but he is fantastic and they have helped us so much already and understand how we will not be having a religious service.

Unfortunately my in laws are religious and I am losing patience with it. I understand it's their way of dealing with things but I do not need it around me.

Today as been a very hard, dark and emotional day and my husband and I believe we did a little bit too much today. Tomorrow morning will be worse, but we will get through it together...somehow. I'm so glad I came on here your support means the world to me right now 😢💙

Sorry, I don't think I have anything helpful to say, but I just couldn't read this thread and then leave without saying I'm so sorry this has happened to you

I am so so so so sorry this has happened.

Please take care of yourself.

I’m so sorry for the loss of your son and your other losses. There are no words. Life is so cruel and unfair sometimes. Thinking of you.

I am so, so sorry for the loss of your beautiful baby son x

I am so very sorry lass.

Sending you thoughts, hugs and handholds through this incredibly difficult time.

I'm so sorry. Wishing you strength.

I'm so very sorry to read about your little boy.
Sending you love. X

So sorry for your loss

I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your son Ethan. I lost my first little girl in similar cirumstances in 2011.
I still think of her everyday and imagine I always will.
Be gentle on your self and your husband over the coming weeks- it takes time to adapt to such a devastating loss.
As a previous poster said he died knowing only love and you’ll carry him with you.
Wear what ever you feel like to his funeral. I wore a summer dress to my girl’s one. My husband wore casual stuff too.
What I found a little comfort in was a pair of teddies. She got one, I keep the other- then we swapped before the funeral.
Hope the days pass peacefully for you.

Oh sweetheart words are pretty meaningless right now and most result in needless clichès but keep using yours even if others say the wrong ones. Don't bottle up your words be they sad, angry, despairing or empty. Keep sharing them with those who love you and on here if you need to. Your words need to be heard right now. So keep talking. And take care of yourself (((((()))))) xx

Thinking of you OP.

It doesn't matter what you wear to the funeral. Neither you nor anyone else will remember your outfit.

Take care.

So, so sorry for your loss OP. Sounds trite but take it a day at a time and don't ask too much of yourself