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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

My dad died on Tuesday

140 replies

runkid · 08/03/2007 23:00

My dad was finally able to rest in piece after dying in my arms at home.
It has been horrible watching him waste away over the last month as he was such an active man and was not used to being ill.
I miss that kind gentle man and cannot believe i will never see him again

OP posts:
DimpledThighs · 08/03/2007 23:19

I am sorry to read this.

I wish you peace and strength.

Aero · 08/03/2007 23:20

So sorry runkid.

wotzsaname · 08/03/2007 23:20

Will your work let you take some time off? You should phone your manager etc. Or if you are the manager, sort it out!

Do you have a good solicitor? I'm sure there'll be some good advice here is you ask.

wotzsaname · 08/03/2007 23:21

So sorry for you. hug]]

Original poster
runkid · 08/03/2007 23:22

I have two weeks of at the moment i may have to take longer otherwise i am going to be very stressed

OP posts:
Socci · 08/03/2007 23:24

Message withdrawn

PeachesMcLean · 08/03/2007 23:24

So sorry to hear this runkid. You've got a lot on your plate.

Part of dealing with my bereavement was accepting that sometimes I might not deal with it very well and that that's normal and ok. (Sounds glib but it took some time to get my head round that - I thought I shoudl be able to deal with it - worse things happen at sea and all that - but it doesn't work like that in reality.)

Will be thinking of you.

StifflersMom · 08/03/2007 23:27

Hugs to you runkid. xxxxxxxxxxxxx

charlottegeorgiaolivermums · 08/03/2007 23:32

I really am so sorry for your loss {sad]

Original poster
runkid · 08/03/2007 23:33

i feel so lonely and alone when all relatives have gone home it will just be me and my children everyone lives so far away my dad was my security and my friend and i could rely on him

OP posts:
prettymum · 08/03/2007 23:33

im so sorry {{{{{{{hugs}}}}}}}

wotzsaname · 08/03/2007 23:38

I heard a sad thing last night, when someone said when our parents die we realise we are no longer someones child.

You have to be the grown up and that is hard to be right now. I know that won't make you feel better, but part of your hurt is coming to terms with that.

StrangeTown · 08/03/2007 23:38

I'm so sorry Runkid.

Original poster
runkid · 08/03/2007 23:42

wotzaname i never thoughtof it like that but that is very true and like you say very sad.

OP posts:
wotzsaname · 08/03/2007 23:46

runkid - ill be thinking of you. goodnight and take care.

Don't stay up too late and get too tired or else you will feel 100% worse in the morning. Your children need you.

NorksBride · 08/03/2007 23:51

I'm so sorry, it's awfully hard losing a parent. But how wonderful for him to have been so well cared for and loved until the end. Wishing you strength.

sandcastles · 08/03/2007 23:52

So sorry for your loss RK.

Soapbox · 08/03/2007 23:58

I'm so very sorry runkid

My father died in very similar circumstances nearly 7 years ago and I still miss him

Be kind to yourself and give yourself plent space to grieve the loss from your life.

Take care xxx

DimpledThighs · 09/03/2007 07:40

as time passes, slowly, one day at a time, things will get easier. at first it is so slow you do not notice and you feel that the pain and hurt will last forever.

It doesn't - you get so you still rmember and love but without the pain.

Wishing you love and calm today.

x

Flower3554 · 09/03/2007 07:54

Its just over 30 years since my Dad died holding my hand after a very long battle with cancer. I know that even today I take comfort from those last few moments that he was alert enough to realise it was me.

His last few months were so hard for him I thought I would never get over the anger that his death was such a release for me but slowly I did and now I remember all the lovely times we had before his illness.

It will get easier but for now keeping busy is the best thing for you. {{{{{hugs}}}}}

anorak · 09/03/2007 08:00

Oh runkid, I'm so so sorry. When you need to cry, just give in to it. It really helps. And come on here and rant too. xx

quietmouse · 09/03/2007 08:15

i'm so sorry to hear this

MamaG · 09/03/2007 08:18

Im so, so sorry Runkid, this is a devastating time for you

I lost my Dad to cancer 4 years ago and I know what you are going through: I too was executor and did all the probate etc so if you need any (admittedly a bit rusty) advice, then CAT me (I also work in a Solicitors office so can pick peoples brains if necessary)

nogoes · 09/03/2007 08:20

So sorry .

Tortington · 09/03/2007 08:20

i'm so sorry for your loss x