How do you go on without your mum?

[tethersend]

Just that really. Mine's currently in hospital with days to go. Not sure how I'm supposed to do it without her. Feel relieved she won't be in pain any more, but so sad and angry that all this could have been avoided. I'm heartbroken.

It's her birthday tomorrow

I'm so sorry for those that have lost their mums or know they're about to.
I can't imagine how awful it is. I know so many people that just don't appreciate their mums. I love mine to bits, she's my rock. Even though I'm mid 40's I would love to go and live with my mum again. Thinking of you all.

Make the most of every moment you have with your Mums if you still have them with you. I miss my Mum so much.

Heartbreaking for you but you will get through it. Hopefully it helps to know others have been able to get through it and be happy again.

Wishing your mum a peaceful end.

Your mum sounds like an amazing lady op My experience is, it's extremely hard, my baby was only a few weeks old when I lost my mum. It's been nearly 3 years I still feel angry when I see older people because I feel my mum should of got to be that age.

Platypus. Really similar story to yours Lost my mum just before I had first baby. But I am grateful for having her as my mum and her death was part of her story. The pain gets easier to live with and everyone has to deal with loss at some point. Sending you a hug op x

She's gone.

Not sure how to feel.

Thinking of you OP. There is no one way you should be feeling.

Tethersend.

Tethersend.

Terhersend

Very sorry to read this tethersend. I'm sure you are in shock even though it was expected. When the administration of funeral etc is complete, you will have the space to work through your feelings. Please know lots of people are thinking about you with empathy during this very difficult time. I'm very sad for you.

Thank you.

She died from Sepsis- although she wasn't in the best of health, I've only known she was going to die since last Wednesday. So many times we tried to get her into hospital the week beforehand and they refused to take her. Am so angry and confused.

Do you have support there to help with the immediate practicalities? Anger and confusion are perfectly normal feelings by the way, but yes I can imagine they must be intensified in your situation. It's very important to look after yourself right now: eating, sleeping and time alone/with friends whichever gives you comfort. I was in a haze of total shock at this point...one of the few memories I have is of viewing my mother in the coffin which I'd insisted upon doing. Looking back, I really, really wish I hadn't done that, but I appreciate it helps some people.

I hope you get through today OK.

I'm so sorry to read this tethersend.
I can't imagine the pain and grief you must be feeling at the moment.
I hope you have friends and family around you at this time.
Hugs and strength x

Thank you.

I'm in the same haze I think, Poundland. Lots of people telling me I can see her body, but I don't want to do that. I was at least given time to say goodbye to her before she died, and I feel at peace with that.

Just trying to navigate funeral arranging, paperwork etc. She didn't know she was going to die, so I have no idea where everything is. Can't face it today.

What happens with her household bills, bank account etc?

I don't know, I'm afraid. But I am pretty sure your funeral director will be able point you in the right direction. Or if you find/know her solicitor details they will know. You can also try phoning Age UK.

Do you have anyone to help you with everything?

Sending you both much love, Poundland and Tethersend. Nothing to add except that as pp have said the happy memories come to the fore eventually. Too soon for that right now, so go easy on yourselves, you sound like amazing strong people coping so well. Ring the utility companies and the bank (you don't have to do it right away) and they have a bereavement service who will talk you through what needs to be done. You poor things!

Oh Tethers
There is no right or wrong way to feel.
It's 11 months since my Mum died and every day I think of her & smile. But Mum knew and we talked & were prepared (well she prepared us, looking after us as always)

Yes, once you are ready - call the banks & bill companies to discuss what they need etc. There is no rush.

I did see Mum just after she had died, but I didn't want or need to see her again. That was right for me.

I was in a haze too & I knew it was coming. But it was like waiting for an event to come up which I didn't want to happen (not sure that makes sense).

If you or Poundland need to talk - I'm here. I am still very much in the grieving process and feeling very anxious coming up to the year anniversary of her death.

Oh I am so sorry tethers. Hope her final hours were peaceful. Be kind to yourself now X

I'm so sorry to hear you lost your mum I saw my mum immediately after she died and it was horrible. So seeing her at the funeral parlour was a bit better. Everyone deals with the grief differently. I was just glad my DM was no longer in pain, but my dad still (13 years later) had trouble with the fact he could have done more, forced the hospital to do more. He couldn't. They couldn't. If you can, get someone to help you with the practicalities. Best wishes x

I'm so sorry tethers

Thinking of you tethersend.

I'm so very sorry

So sorry to hear this. I lost my mum last year, she was my best friend. It's very hard but you do come out the other side.

On a practical note I found the gov.uk pages really helpful, and wish I'd found them a bit earlier.

X