My angel baby :(

[jellybeans]

Hi I am sad to post here but hoping to find comfort and support.

I lost my baby at 20+ weeks this week. I suddenly went into labour and they couldn't do anything, my angel was born asleep and was perfect. I feel empty and feel she should be here why did she have to be taken away, i feel I have let her down. xxxxxxxx

so so sorry for your loss jellybeans. That is an awful tragedy that no-one should have to go through. So for you. I dont know what else to say...

I'm very, very sorry.
Please remember that you have not let her down. On the contrary: you kept her warm and safe while she was with you.

oh jellybeans, I am so sorry for your loss of your beautiful daughter.
You haven't let her down - it's a cruel fact that sometimes these things just happen, but it is devastating for those involved.
Be kind to yourself, and get lots of support.
SANDS can be helpful.
Do you have someone with you now?

oh jellybeans I am SO sorry for the loss of your daughter xxx

So sorry, sending you lots of hugs. You haven't let her down in any way, it was out of your control and even the medical team couldn't do anything otherwise they would have done. So sorry for your pain and loss.

i dont know what to say, im so so sorry.

So sorry for your loss.

xxx

Thanks all for your kind thoughts, yes I have DH and my other children with me. I just have to keep reminding myself I am no longer pg as I expect to feel her kicking etc. When i watch my kids playing I think she should be here not where she is and how unfair it all is.

you poor lamb. i am thinking of you x

I said a prayer for your sweet angel. x

xxxxxxxxxx

i am so so terribly sorry for the loss of your daughter

don;t blame yourself, it is not anything you did ....it was out of your hands

it is so very sad , so sad

Oh JB

I'm so so sorry

xxxxx

Message withdrawn

so sorry jellybean

no one should have to suffer that.

please don't think it was your fault, you kept her safe in your tummy and loved her for 20 weeks, you should be proud of that... she had 20 weeks of feeling safe and loved before she had to leave you

sorry for your loss,you havent let her or anyone else down,these awful things just happen.no ones fault.

I am so sorry for your loss but please dont blame yourself , it isnt your fault ,unfourtunatly these things happen and it is out of our control.

Hi jellybeans - I lost my son recently at 24 weeks and totally understand your pain. It is so hard to accept that they are no longer here and will not be in our lives. But it does happen alot..so it is nobodies fault.. I have blamed myself and looked for many different answers.
I log on to sands and there are many people in the same position as us, so if you ever want to talk to people that are going through the same thing, there is normally someone about. (although recently they have had to do some work on their website and forum).
It is so unfair that our babies have been taken , I still sometimes think it can't be true...but sadly it is. If you ever want to talk or discuss anything you are welcome to contact [email protected]
Thinking of you and your family...I hope our beautiful babies play as angels together... XXX

jellybeans

I am very sorry you lost your daughter. I lost a son at 20 weeks too. It is hard because you mourn a baby you never had - very strange mixed up feelings that you cannot pinpoint.

Best wishes.

So so sorry for your loss jellybeans. x

I'm so so sorry jellybeans. I'm just so sorry, there's nothing more I can say, I wish there were. TC xxx

So sorry for your loss-I echo the comment about SANDS-they are great and helped a friend in the same situation.

So sorry.

jellybeans, I'm so sorry your baby dd died. Something similar happened to me four years ago, and I bitterly remember the feeling that I had let a defenceless little baby down before he could even try to fend for himself. Hollow words I know, but you haven't let her down, what happened this week was out of your control and, as other posters have said, not even the health professionals could help you both.
There is ongoing research into why some pregnancies end suddenly at around the 20 week mark, funded by Tommys and now also by SANDS I think. Not much is known even in this day and age.
I hope the staff at the hospital were good to you and put you in touch with SANDS. I hope they also explained to you, that if you want, you can have a funeral for your daughter - it is not necessary to have a birth or death certificate in these circumstances.
We have a tree for our son Tom in the back garden, a crab-apple that has bright red apples in winter and lovely blossom in spring. Like your dd, Tom has an older brother who helped us plant it.
Thinking of you all at this miserably sad time XXX and hoping you find it as helpful to post as I and others who have lost babies do, sometimes

So, so sorry jellybeans.

I'm going to a remembrance service in a couple of weeks for my ds who I lost in September (32 wks pg) and will light a candle for your little angel. Did you name her? xxx

I know it will be almost impossible for you to post on the Due in May ante-natal board, but I for one will be thinking of you at this awful time.
Please contacts SANDS, as Marina says they will be able to help.

So so sorry xx