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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

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Original poster

My angel baby :(

64 replies

jellybeans · 13/01/2007 10:55

Hi I am sad to post here but hoping to find comfort and support.

I lost my baby at 20+ weeks this week. I suddenly went into labour and they couldn't do anything, my angel was born asleep and was perfect. I feel empty and feel she should be here why did she have to be taken away, i feel I have let her down. xxxxxxxx

OP posts:

paulaplumpbottom · 13/01/2007 15:40

I'm soooo sorry JellyBeans.

wurlywurly · 13/01/2007 15:45

oooh jellybeans this must be so awful for you, nothing that you did let your baby down you loved her and she will have know that.

Clarinet60 · 13/01/2007 16:02

So sorry Jellybeans. A prayer for your angel.
xxx

StrangeTown · 13/01/2007 17:03

Jellybeans - I am so sorry. Thinking of you x

misdee · 13/01/2007 17:04

so sorry jellybeans

thinking of you

Frenchsmallfry · 13/01/2007 19:29

Hi Jellybeans, I am glad you've felt able to post on here.
We are all thinking of you over on the May thread. Your angel baby will always be with you in your heart.

lots of virtual Love and hugs to you and your family at this time. xxx

olivo · 13/01/2007 19:34

jellybeans, so sorry to hear about your dd. you have certainly not let her down; she will have felt your love for every day of those 20 weeks.

wishing you strength and courage.

Biglips · 13/01/2007 19:35

so sorry to hear xx

aprilmeadow · 14/01/2007 07:56

Jellybeans - I am so sorry for the loss of your beautiful dd. Please dont think that you let her down.

Thinking of you and love and hugs to you xx

NewMoonOnMonday · 14/01/2007 08:05

So sorry that you lost your DD . God bless your little angel and all the jellybeans xxx

anniebear · 14/01/2007 20:11

really sorry to hear this

brimfull · 14/01/2007 20:15

oh what an awful thing to happen,so sorry.

Hulababy · 14/01/2007 20:19

I am so sorry your baby girl, your daughter, died. Life is really unfair

filthymindedvixen · 14/01/2007 20:19

How very sad Thinking of you x

Heavenis · 14/01/2007 20:21

So sorry for your lose Jellybean,

DimpledThighs · 14/01/2007 21:37

Jellybean - have been thinking about you and hoping you are getting some rest and peace.

In a way I think you may be avoiding mumsnet - which could be for the best. Want you to know you are in my thoughts and if you want to share with someone with similar experience do let me know.

Best wishes.

EllieHsMum · 14/01/2007 21:41

Jellybeans I am so sorry for your loss

LupinsBigLump · 14/01/2007 21:48

Just wondered how you are today xx

mrsdarcy · 14/01/2007 23:15

I'm so sorry Jellybeans. I lost my daughter at 19 weeks, almost 3 years ago. The period between her death and due date were just awful, as I'm sure they are for everyone in this horrible situation.

SANDS is extremely helpful - I phoned them once or twice but I know others on here have become more involved and found them a great comfort.

Soapbox · 14/01/2007 23:22

Jellybeans - I am so sorry that you lost your beautiful and perfect DD

I hope you can find some place of comfort and peace in the next days and weeks.

Soapbox · 14/01/2007 23:23

I am so sorry - that was supposed to be a there

PeachyClair · 14/01/2007 23:30

Oh I'm sorry thinking of you, your family and sending .

Califrau · 14/01/2007 23:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

jellybeans · 15/01/2007 09:40

Thanks everyone for your kind messages, and thanks to those who came over from the May thread xxxxxxx. I am feeling still very sad and shocked, not knowing what exactly went wrong makes it worse. Hopefully will get some answers soon. I keep thinking maybe I should have known something wasn't right before it was too late? Will be having the funeral soon and maybe get some test results, till then am moping quietly trying to go through the motions.xxxxxxx

OP posts:

DimpledThighs · 15/01/2007 09:50

Am glad you posted. Good to hear from you.

I remember the time between the birth and the test results seeming like an age (was about 2 months) and I went through all kinds of emotions - ncluding deciding that I would never have children (I now have a ds (7) and a dd(4)) They did not really find anything at the test results for me. It is so hard.

There was nothing you could do - you did not make this happen and it is not a consequence of anything you did it is just a very sad thing that happened and at times we never know the reasons.

You are doing so well going through the motions. That is what you keep having to do - take each day as it comes, or even each hour as it comes. Don't focus on long term things at the moment - just pace yourself through the next few days.

It is a cliche but as time passes the pain lessens - I like to think that the pain slowly turns into love for that child. 8 years on I am left with an overwhelming sense of love for my lost boy - it is tinged with sadness but the huge gaping whole he left in me has healed with time as it will for you my love.

One day at a time.

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