our daughter died Wednesday at 17months

[anais2403]

We are broken.
I'm posting because I'm hoping to hear from someone who has been through something similar who can tell me something comforting.
Our baby was ill with a fever and a viral infection but her heart was unable to cope.
She was our only child.

I'm so sorry that you have lost Sophie, sending you lots if love and strength x

Hi anais

I'm so sorry about your darling Sophie. It's just so wrong in every conceivable way. I lost my DS2 aged 21 last August.... so one year three months and 27 days ago. Every day hurts and there is a shadow. There is a way forward and I am so gradually feeling my way, but I get a huge amount of support and help from the other mums who are in our situation. I have made some dear friends (some of whom I've never met!) from the thread I have linked below and also from my own thread.

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/2052800-Our-special-thread-where-we-can-be-who-we-are-A-thread-to-remember-our-children-who-are-no-longer-physically-here-Our-safe-haven

www.mumsnet.com/Talk/bereavement/1907280-Miss-my-son-so-much

I wouldn't go back to those early days for anything. Just keep breathing and take each moment as it comes. Be gentle with yourself.

Sending you love.

So sorry

I am so sorry there are no words to help at this horrible time. But plenty of people with time to listen if that would help. It is so unfair

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts.

Hi Anais. Our otherwise healthy 20 month old daughter died suddenly from swine flu earlier this year. It caused swelling in her brain and a febrile convulsion. I found helpful from the early days to write letters to my daughter; recalling memories and noting both the good and the stupid things people said to us after her death. I still write to her. I found long walks beneficial but I can't do these anymore as I'm heavily pregnant. I sought counselling through my GP which was a little useful but not a great deal as the counsellor was not experienced in this kind of bereavement. I read about the experiences of other bereaved parents, I found comfort in shared thoughts/feelings. Organisations such as A Child of Mine, Cruse Bereavement Care, The Compassionate Friends, the Child Death Helpline and Child Bereavement Uk can be helpful when you're feeling isolated. I hope you will find a way that suits you, at your own pace x

So so sorry for your loss, there are no words.

Thoughts are with you and your DH x

I am so very sorry.x

I'm so very sorry.

Dear anais, my heart goes out to you and ur partner. I a so sorry to read of the terribleness loss of your beautiful daughter. Thinking of you and sending you love.

I'm so very sorry for the loss of your beautiful daughter x

I'm so, so sorry. No words for how terrible this is

And for everyone else on here who posted about losing their children, I am so very sorry for your losses

Thank you to all those who posted particularly those who have been through similar things and sent lists of what helped them. I have started writing which helps. And we have a lot of support from friends and family meaning I can just sit on the sofa disintegrating and watching tv at times. We're up and down. At times uncontrollable grief and pain at others I feel nothing - a relief.

Not quite ready to talk about Sophie here. I talked about her in the pregnancy thread when I was at that stage, before she was a person so to speak. And now that we are on this side I want her to remain a person....

I am so sorry xx

So very sorry Anais. You must feel overwhelmed.

The bereaved parents on here are wonderful, just so supportive of each other.

I hope you find a way through somehow. We look forward to hearing about Sophie when you are ready to talk about her.

Lots of love. XX

I am so sorry for your loss xx

Xxxxx

I'm so sorry about your darling girl. Sending love and light to you x

Condolences Anais

I'm so sorry.

Hello Anais
I am so sorry for the loss of your daughter, Sophie. My son died just over a year ago - he was almost 1 at the time. The past year has been a blur (and I cannot believe a year has passed) but what has enabled me to keep on is similar to others - contact with other bereaved parents (in particular via the compassionate friends and also seeing a bereavement counsellor, which was a safe place for me to release my darker thoughts, which friends and family did not necessarily want to hear.

I saw this and couldn't read and run. What an awful tragedy. I am incredibly sorry for your loss, I can't even fathom how you must feel right now.
It is totally understandable that you don't want to talk about her just now. We are all here to hold your hand when you're ready.
What you describe sounds very 'normal' for grief, which I found not to be linear at all. We too lost a baby, much earlier and in very different circumstances, and it nearly broke me. What you're going through is just a completely different, horrifying level of unfair, tragic and cruel.

I am sending you gentle hugs and warmth. Just don't forget to breathe, as others have said. I am glad you have support in real life. Let people help you for as long as possible. Much love.

Very similar happened to my DD she was 3 died on 15/11/14 I'm so sorry I know words mean nothing right now if you need to chat I'm here x

I am so very sorry that your daughter has died. It is inconceivable that any parent should suffer this tragedy. I lost my 18 year old son in February to a brain tumour. I understand medically why he died but still can't believe that he is 'gone'. Take it moment by moment. Keep breathing. Just going to sleep and waking up the next day is enough. Xxxx

Hi, I'm really sorry about your daughter. My little boy was 3 when he died, nearly 3 years ago. I don't post much about him publicly but will send you a private message over the weekend xx