Can I do any more??

[PiggyPlumPie]

My dear friend lost her husband back in July to suicide. She was obviously devastated and for the first week I barely left her side. Then it was our summer holidays and I had 3 DC at home and had to step back a little. I texted frequently and popped round a couple of times.

After the funeral I was away for the weekend - texted her and she replied saying how she was struggling but knowing I was away, couldn't do much. I was ill when we got back but still available. Then we had another few days away - similar texts saying how hard she was finding it. Phoned her but no answer etc. Just texting.

Went round when we got back but she wouldn't answer the door. Have texted often but she just says she can't see anyone.

It's now been months since I've actually seen her - I miss my friend. Today I have again offered support but it has been turned down.

Is there anything else I can do?? It seemed that she only opened up when she knew I was far away and couldn't help.

You are doing all you can. When grief overwhelms you it is hard to reach out as the feelings are so strong you feel they may consume/break you.

She will value the fact you are keeping in touch even if she doesn't say it so keep doing it. I had such a close friend for years that was always there for me but until I was ready I just couldn't be in constant contact for fear of the conversation and what it would bring.

Sometimes the impersonal is all one can bear.

The poor woman.

July is nothing. She is in the depth of her grief.

She probably needed you in the early weeks but as you had your holidays booked and 3 dc to look after obviously couldn't just drop everything.

She may feel resentful.

I would go round in person.

Your friend may need more support than you can offer. Bereavement is hard enough to deal with, but coping with the death of a partner due to suicide takes everything to a different level. At the very least, some form of counselling would be useful, I would think. You don't say if she is in touch with anyone else or getting any support but your post suggests she isn't. If you do go round would you feel comfortable supporting her to ask for more help?