Cath - hello sweetie. I know some of what's going on with DH, my DH said that he's been asking him about your plans, he wants to bring them forward. And what's happening today.
Re the boys, esp Elliott, it's a totally normal reaction I'm afraid. He doesn't want to feel as if he if replacing Pippa with Elliot. Does that make sense? He thinks that if he gets too attached to Elliott, he'll lose some of the love, connection or affection that he has for Pippa, that's not true, you and I know that, but it's the only way that he can cope right now.
From what my DH has said, he's gone into typical YOUR DH mode, (with all due respect sweetheart). It's how he has chosen to cope from where he was, it's one of the phases of grief, much different from when you lost your mum.
Your lives as you knew them 11 short days ago, have changed so dramatically and will never be the same again. They can't be, can they? He'll find that hard, as will you. I think he's forgetting just how much YOU are hurting too. And yes, he's being selfish but can't see it, he's shutting things down, he's shutting memories out because he blames himself, as do you, as does LF or anyone else who looked after her before she died.....
But you can't just switch everything off and stop the world. You can't just close your eyes and this all be gone, you won't wake to find it's been a horrific dream, although I know that everyone who knows you would love that to be the case. I'm so sorry that I can't take all of your pain away, all of the aches from within your heart, the tears from your eyes, the shivers in the night when you get scared of what you are going to have to face on Thursday.
I wish that I could make it all stop for you. 
We've booked into the place where the wake is, so we can come straight to you and wait until we can book in, or call you and see if you are ready for a visit from us? :)
I know the next few days are going to be a rollercoaster of tears, laughter, emotions, and utter despair at times darling lady and I really can't wait to see you either!!! I've been desperate to get to you but my chauffeur has been busy 
I'm so sorry that it's not been possible for us to be there until this week, but from the moment I wake to the moment I sleep, I have thought of nothing and no-one else.
Nemo is gutted, he keeps asking about Pippa and saying that he won't ever be able to "play with Pips again",
Then, last night as we were going to bed, he asked if "she was coming to the funeral".
What can you say to that?
He may almost be 5 but his mental age almost 3yrs..... I just held him and told him that he'll see her one day when he is lots older and in heaven himself with his Grandma, and Pippa's Grandma too. He eventually went to sleep in my arms.
I'm counting the days until I can hug you! I know we'll end up a snotty mess but I don't care, that's what best friends are for! And let's face it, we're both used to far worse that being covered in snot, hey? 
Love you heaps and we'll talk again soon, btw, check your phone.
Mousey xxx