I need to talk about this

[FreeAtLastAtLongLast]

I lost a young (21) relative to cancer. It hurts so so much. My DS (16) had gone off the rails, understandably as I'm not far off, is in trouble with police for smoking weed, and is frequently excluded from school.

We are in a mess.

I drink to seek oblivion when I go out. My relationship broke down, although it would have anyway I expect.

Just so much loss this year

I don't know where I'm at. I clung to this relationship, in which I've been cheated in and cruelly rejected since the bereavement.

I quit my (very challenging) job and took a low paid job, but I'm still struggling, and I'm now topping up with tax credits since my partner left me.

My mum has been seriously ill, inand out of hosp, nearly lost her, all with grief. Our relationship was never healthy, but I can't cope with her being ill, she's my mum.

It has all fallen apart so badly

Thank you MrsW. I posted and then went to bed, my sleep is weird atm and actually getting all this out was exhausting and cathartic all at once.

Just such a roller coaster of emotions all year :( it feels like such hard work