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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even do

OP posts:

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ChubbyKitty · 04/06/2013 09:52

Well people say not to spoil them lest they become fat brats of house cats. But she already was so its probably not making a difference haha

Dad is doing well, his cuts are healing and bruises are failing. Nana is looking after him well too, as we all know its illegal not to eat mountains of food at grandparents houses!

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NappyHappy · 04/06/2013 10:08

And Nanas always make sure you are over fed! But yet they eat like sparrows?!

What is the cat called?

Glad your Dads on the mend

ChubbyKitty · 04/06/2013 10:50

Cat is called ruby. She is black with a little white bib and she talks back to you if you talk to her

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NappyHappy · 04/06/2013 11:21

She sounds very cool. The local cats seem to congregate in my back garden.

mummylin2495 · 04/06/2013 11:58

Good morning chubby ( and ruby ) what a lovely day to be a cat, just lazing around , people getting your food for you etc. what a life. Glad you have been doing ok you are being a very strong person and its probably a good thing ou can be like that. I would of cracked. Sending you my best for next couple of days x

ChubbyKitty · 04/06/2013 22:58

I think it's very slowly starting to sink in. Not yet to the point where I crumple but I'm a lot more teary the past couple of days.

Everyone's a mix of proud and worried that I'm being so strong but there's a lot of things to organise and do so I need to to get it all done.

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BriansBrain · 04/06/2013 23:18

Give your self time and let those tears flow, you have had such a terrible shock you are allowed to let your feelings out.

Let people help you with organising things and don't worry about what people think of you x

ChubbyKitty · 06/06/2013 11:47

It's worse on days like today. Nothing to do, no one coming until later (I would normally be starting work at 5) so before all this I would go round there as its a minute away on the next street and we'd drink too much coffee and chain smoke and I'd tell her I'd quit when I get pregnant and she'd suggest having a cupcake in place of each cigarette and we'd giggle about how that's not the best idea.

Rambled there a bit but yeah. I'm still struggling to not think "ooh I've got X hours free ill go round".

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NappyHappy · 06/06/2013 20:32

You ramble away! Is it mostly nights you work?

mummylin2495 · 06/06/2013 21:06

Hello chubby , sorry you have had a bad day. It's horrible when the things you used to do are suddenly changed for such sad reasons.its better for you prob then to try and keep busy. But is very difficult when it's a normal
daily activity and that has been taken away from you. Do you have friends you could visit or are they out at work in the daytime ? Don't really know what see to suggest.
For now you still have things to face, but eventually you will make new routines further down the line. Give yourself proper time to grieve. Things will improve in time.

ChubbyKitty · 06/06/2013 22:22

Evenings yeah. Tiring but a fun job so worth it in the end. Feel slightly better this evening made a makeshift lasagne and getting and early night. Had a visit from my auntie too which was nice

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NappyHappy · 07/06/2013 13:13

Makeshift Lasagne? Aunties always seem cool.

Are you managing to sleep?

ChubbyKitty · 07/06/2013 14:28

Sleeping surprisingly well actually. Yeah I had no mince so I cooked pasta in beef oxo and pretended. Wasn't quite the same somehow...

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NappyHappy · 07/06/2013 15:32

In a kind of Ready Steady Cook moment? I have them alot.

Im glad you are managing to eat and sleep.

ChubbyKitty · 07/06/2013 15:59

Sort of! I toyed with the idea of using chorizo slices but I don't see how it would have worked.

I think I'm taking good care of myself physically. It's kind of a distraction tbh.

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NappyHappy · 07/06/2013 19:31

Good stuff, you sound like you are doing ok.

Chorizo could've worked.

Its still really warm out up here.

ChubbyKitty · 08/06/2013 12:51

Weather was a bit disappointing this morning

Had a really weird dream last night, like an alternate version of the accident where my mum was alive but loads of other houses were timed to go as well and we had to evacuate everyone and there was a Turkish debt collector after me and DP. Not even sure about any of that tbh!

Going to see my dad this afternoon then I think it'll be toad in the hole for tea. Nice to have something proper after last night's amazing turkey dinosaurs. Also did my hair yesterday and its now platinum - she would have been so proud that it hasn't fallen out

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NappyHappy · 08/06/2013 14:55

That is a very random dream.

Its a bit dull here but still warm.

Hey, there's nothing wrong with turkey dinosaurs always good when you really cba.

Well, your Mum was probably making sure your hair didn't fall out, mines desperate to be re-done but it means stripping it, lightening it then putting the semi on top. Are you impressed with your handy work? What colour was it before?

ChubbyKitty · 08/06/2013 18:28

It's been blonde for a while but always a bit brassy. I think putting the proper shade on has done it a lot of good colour wise, although I should probably use 5 litres of conditioner on it tonight!

Is it weird that sometimes I think she's still around? Could just be my mind playing tricks on me. But I'd rather, if its either of them, they do stuff during the day because I don't like the dark and get a bit freaked out!

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NappyHappy · 08/06/2013 22:30

No way is it weird that you think that. Im a big believer in all things after life. People think Im nuts for it but I don't care

If your hair does feel a bit brillo pad like, put some Henna wax/conditioner on it and leave overnight. Do you know the stuff I mean in the tub?

ChubbyKitty · 09/06/2013 00:02

Not a clue but I have some Argan oil which is lovely

I've not told DP about that. He gets really freaked out by that stuff!

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NappyHappy · 09/06/2013 00:43

Argan oil could work.

Its not as if they will do you any harm though, just watch over you. And maybe move stuff

How were your Dad and Nana?

ChubbyKitty · 09/06/2013 01:05

They're okay my dads looking really well now and pottering about quite well

I know but he's a big fraidy cat.

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mummylin2495 · 09/06/2013 20:25

Hiya chubby.thats a very strange dream you had ! Somehow your brain s processing things, no idea how though. There has been a lt about Turkey on the news on tele, maybe that's the turkey bit. Understandable your mum figured in your dream. I have only ad two dreams with my mum I ad bth times se never spoke a word to me, she was simply there.
I think your brain canals trics on you when you are in times of stress.
I would like to think that the people we lose are still around us somewhere, but I'm not sure about that side of things. But on the ther hand if I don't go and take fresh flowers tote crem , itching mu mm will know so I contradict myself there.
Hope your hair turned out ok. Mine is red streaks with blond.buti have had purple and purple and pink together !! I think I only do it to shock !! Inhabited grandchildren and ey think its cool !
Gad you dad is getting on ok.hope you have had restful weekend x

ChubbyKitty · 10/06/2013 00:44

I'm considering doing the whole underneath pink or purple, as its so white everywhere else. It's just finding the dye that won't burn my skin off (sadly I can no longer use Live Colour )

It's comforting, if it IS one of them. But tbh I dread to think who else it could be.

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