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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 19 20

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

Could do with some hand-holding please?

480 replies

ChubbyKitty · 20/05/2013 06:32

Horrific accident in my parents house. Mum and grandad have both gone, dad is stable, and only found one of three cats.

I'm 21, I did not expect to lose my mum this soon at all. It hasn't even sunk in properly yet, and I know when it does I will be completely destroyed. What do I even do

OP posts:

Report

ChubbyKitty · 23/05/2013 21:53

Physically he's doing great. I'm really pleased to have the cd. Had a bit of a spring clean tonight as I'd neglected the housework.

I feel like I'm helping when I'm with the police at the house, I can point out which rooms were which etc. for the structure people.

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mummylin2495 · 24/05/2013 08:52

Good morning chubby. If going to the house is helping you to keep busy that will be a good thing. I expect it all feels very unreal at the moment. You wonder how life all around you can possibly be going on , people walking dogs, friends laughing as they walk down the street etc. I am grieving my mum too, but for you this is a terrible terrible shock. So anything that helps you to get through each day is good. I suppose the quicker they find. Out what happened, the quicker you will have the answers. Will the funerals be able to be held or do you have to wait while investigations continue ? Best wishes to your dad, glad he is coming home. Stay strong, people are thinking of you.

ChubbyKitty · 24/05/2013 09:16

We have to wait for them to be released before having the funerals. I guess it gives me a little more time to plan and get my head round it all.

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mummylin2495 · 24/05/2013 19:11

Hello chubby. Hope you have had a busy day to help you get through it. Did your dad get released from hospital? I am sure it will help him to be around the family right now and this will Help with his recovery time.i am sure you will all be a great help for each other. I hope that you are managing to eat , this sometimes gets overlooked in times of stress, but you need to keep your energy levels up. Take care.

ChubbyKitty · 25/05/2013 12:36

Hi he's home now, it's much nicer seeing him in a familiar setting and I think it's making him feel better. I've been eating okay friends and their parents have been making me home cooked meals and my work sent me some free food as well, mum would have gone divvy to think I wasn't eating bless her. Get to pick up a few more possessions that have been salvaged today.

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mummylin2495 · 25/05/2013 14:32

So glad that there are things you can manage to save, that's a miracle in itself.good on everyone keeping you fed. It's so easy to neglect yourself in times of terrible stress. I can believe your dad is at least happier to be home, although I expect he is also in deep shock as you all must be. Are you managing to sleep ok ? If not I'm sure your doc would be able to give you something to help. Is your DP off all next week as well. I expect you feel better with him around to help you and give you support.you are being very strong, I admire you for that.

ChubbyKitty · 25/05/2013 22:57

Got tranquillisers. Really glad for them now because I keep getting like mini flashbacks if that makes sense? I can imagine if I was trying to sleep naturally I would be a lot worse.

It all still seems like a hair dye hallucination. That's what I was doing when it happened so its stuck in my mind that maybe it wasn't real and I can go round tomorrow and have fags and coffee with my mum and make a fuss over all the cats and watch zombie films with my dad before we get my food shopping(that was our Sunday routine)

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elQuintoConyo · 25/05/2013 23:11

Oh, Chubby, I'm so sorry for your loss.
No advice, but

Whatalotofpiffle · 25/05/2013 23:31

So so sorry. Hand holding here. I hope you get some sleep

TheUnicornsGoHawaiian · 25/05/2013 23:38

Sending lots of love.

mummylin2495 · 26/05/2013 01:10

I can understand how unreal it all seems for you at the moment. Almost like your living in a dream world and any minute you will wake and find its all not true.i am glad you have something to help you sleep.thank god that you will always have your memories, these memories will become your treasures for the future.
Did you find out what happened to the other cats ? Did they run away or were they in the house ?
Hope your dad has had an ok day.do you have things to do today ( sun) or can you have a break for the day to try and relax a bit. Difficult I know, but you have been busy all week doing things.

NatashaBee · 26/05/2013 01:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

FiftyShadesofGreyMatter · 26/05/2013 04:42

So sorry for your loss, what a terrible shock you have had.
I lost my Mum when I was 24 (((((ChubbyKitty)))))

ChubbyKitty · 27/05/2013 11:07

Ohh 24 that's still just a baby

The man in the corner shop told me off for looking at the papers, he said I'm not allowed until the press have forgotten about it.

It's so weird seeing my pink walls from that angle. And now everyone else has seen it. And I need to go to town and I'm scared of the starers and I don't know where the press are lurking with it being bank holiday.

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mummylin2495 · 27/05/2013 12:26

Don't be scared, I expect everyone will be feeling deep sympathy for you, as for the press I don't know about how they will act. You have such a lot to cope with at the moment try to ignore any photographers if you see them. And if you don't speak to them. They can't twist your words or anything. Is it still being reported in your local paper ? I haven't seen anything in the national one we have. I expect the shop keeper was trying to save you from more upset. Hope you do manage to make the trip into your town.

mummylin2495 · 28/05/2013 14:28

How are you today chubby ? Do you still have a Lot of things to do or are you able to have a bit of time for yourself ?

ChubbyKitty · 28/05/2013 21:26

Nothing on tomorrow until tonight so will get a little bit of time to myself. There's not been a lot going on just trying to keep myself up and about rather than not getting out of bed at all.

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mummylin2495 · 28/05/2013 21:33

Good for you on making the effort. I expect it would be easy just to get under the duvet and stay there all day. How is your dad today ? I hope he is making good progress as far as his health is concerned. Did you manage to get out to go to the shops ? And was it a hassle free trip. I hope so for your sake. Take care of yourself and make sure you eat.

ChubbyKitty · 28/05/2013 22:55

Yeah I got out and about and bought some cat toys and some photo albums. Also bought some cheeses today which have made me feel better if that makes sense? Some proper comfort food.

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mummylin2495 · 28/05/2013 23:24

Whatever makes you feel good has to be good. I too love a nice bit of cheese ! Nice to see that you managed the outing.lucky cat to have new toys. I expect it s being spoilt. Are you still sleeping ok ? I would imagine you are drained. Sending best wishes to your dad too .

NappyHappy · 28/05/2013 23:59

Cheese is always good, at any time of the day (or night). What CD was it? I have a few that fall into that genre.

I'm so sorry for your loss and will be thinking of you, I remember seeing it on the news. You are doing brilliantly and I hope you are getting some sleep. MN is always a good place if you need support.

ChubbyKitty · 29/05/2013 00:33

It was Cradle of Filth - Nymphetamine one of her favourite bands! I think I'm sleeping okay, although the more I get used to the tablets the more I'm starting to dream, so far it's all fluff though so not too bad.

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NappyHappy · 29/05/2013 06:26

Dani Filth, saw an interview with him once and he is totally different to his stage persona. I thought he was quite funny.

Its good you're sleeping, have you someone with you?

ChubbyKitty · 29/05/2013 12:13

DP is with me during the night. I don't think they'll give him night shifts for a long time yet. I love interviews with metal guys they're always so lovely and way different to on stage.

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NappyHappy · 29/05/2013 17:31

Good. How did you sleep? How is your Dad and Cat?

I've been watching The Lowdown on Scuzz (would rather it be Bloodstock they were covering ) and some of the guys come across totally sensible and dad like and the others are like kids . Apparently the guy from Satirycon is one of the nicest guys ever to interview.

Metal Tuune on Propeller is a far better music channel to Scuzz.

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