Trinityrhinos Unspeakably Shit Stuff part two

[TrinityRhino]

Hi everyone
Thank you for so much help and such kind words x

[FoofFighter]

Bloody shitting hell

I thought this (well the first one) was a zombie thread re-surfacing at first, took my breath away.

Can't believe you are all going through this again, and so soon after the last time Trinity, )I know your back story although I don't think we've ever "talked")

Thinking of you all and DP's family too

[venusandmars]

Trin here is a collection of the things you've posted about Cliff over the past couple of days (with a bit of re-ordering so that it makes sense). It is nearly all of your own words, but I've added in a couple of mn comments in places (in italics)....

About Cliff
He was a big strong man. He had a red hat he wore all the time. He used to call his crocs 'melly mels' ?cause we once saw a picture of Mel Gibson in crocs and he was trying to convince me that crocs were cool ?cause Mel Gibson wore them and I fancied Mel Gibson when he was younger!

He loved curry, he used to spend hours in the kitchen making curries from scratch - really hot and tasty. I used to taste them, they were really tasty but waaay too hot for me. He used to love to sweat whilst eating a curry.

He loved fishing, the sea, nature. We used to go and collect the flatfish from the salmon nets in the sea outside my house.

He was so loving and kind but in private He was a big strong man?s man but with a soft squishy heart. I used to call him my teddy bear in a crocodile suit.

Oh they (the crocs) will never be cool but they worked really well for paddling in the sea and walking the dog on the sand. He loved them because they were practical. I agreed they were practical but ugh!!

^(many posters on the thread described him as your ?Gentle Giant?)^

We choose an engagement ring at the end of last year. He wanted to do it properly and he was waiting for the right time. Silly sod, he was just joking a couple of days ago that he?s panicking about doing it right and he should get on with it. He knew I wanted a proper proposal but all I meant was heartfelt words and maybe down on one knee.

I found the ring. He didn't have many places to 'hide' it . Its a little big now, I've lost some weight since I gave up drinking, I'm hoping I can get it resized. I want to wear it now. I'm wearing his chain too. I?m wearing his ring because purplepillow is amazing and went and bought one of those weird things that make your ring fit temporarily till you can get it resized.

Cliff had a serious heart attack in September of last year, he had a stent put in and had damaged his heart quite a lot. He was on lots of medication but we really thought things were looking up. He was stable as it were. For a good few months after the heart attack he was in and out of hospital but then we got his meds sorted and he had finished his cardiac training sessions and was going to the local gym twice a week, his fatal heart nurse(what a name!) was happy with his stats.

He has five adult children that I am close to, but they all live far away.

He was very proud of me for giving up the booze, and the fags. I?m not going back to drink or fags, no chance. My girls and me deserve better.
Cliff was the complete opposite of a gamer, managing to work out how to record and playback things on the sky plus box was about as techie as he got.

I think I've added a photo on my profile of Cliff - I thought maybe you might want to see who I'm talking about. I?ve added another picture of him in his silly red hat. He had a problem ear that he had to keep the wind out of so his hat was always on his head outside. I always thought it was a silly looking thing but it was him.

Ugh double beds are not made for sharing with 2 wriggly kids. I was trying to convince Cliff that we needed a super king size bed for the morning cuddles when all three girls and the dog wanted to climb into bed and have a snuggle.....

He really was an amazing bloke. He made me a stronger me. God I miss him so much.

^He made you shine again, he made you laugh again, he made you YOU again. That will never leave you sweetheart, it might be hidden just now whilst you are getting through the pain, the grief, the twisted torment that haunts you. Your gentle giant has given you his strength. Xxx^

He has, he really has. Its making me cry right now but its so true and will make me smile in time.

[Mouseface]

venus - that is truly amazing. You are fabulous, you really are for finding that and posting it. And thank you for re-posting that last bit I wrote to Trin, that's made ME cry again now too! xx

Trin - Save this thread to your 'Watch' list too, and print out what venus has written, or C&P it to someone with a printer if you've not got one to do it for you.

[Hassled]

Trinity - you've had so much wonderful support here and I know there are so many others thinking of you. You'll always have someone here to be alongside you, in cyberspace if not in person.

[TrinityRhino]

oh venus

thankyou

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

That's a wonderful picture altogether venus
Thank you.
Hope your phone calls got some stuff ticked off your list Trinityand that you had a calm day.

[mrsmindcontrol]

How's your evening going Trinity? Are you still aiming to get the girls in their own beds? Thinking of you & wishing you strength x

[madhairday]

I've only just seen this. I have no words, but wanted you to know here's another mumsnetter thinking of you. :(

[WandaDoff]

venus

for Trin

[Mouseface]

Trin

I wanted to point this out He was very proud of me for giving up the booze, and the fags. I?m not going back to drink or fags, no chance. My girls and me deserve better.

You know I'm on the BraveBabes threads, and for me to read those words, see them in black and white, knowing what you went through, the desperation, the risks you took, the person you were my darling.

Look at you now. Even now you are staying away from alcohol. You won't go back, because you know...... you know what it does to you and you know in your heart that Cliff was perhaps the proudest person of all when you got yourself back on your feet.

YOU DID IT! The day I read your posts on the thread, when you came back to see us all and said you were sober, was perhaps one of my most favourite days on MN. If not the best.

Trin - you did it because of the fact you didn't want to be that person ever again and risk losing your girls ever, ever again. No-one blames you btw for what you did, drinking like that.

Your life as you knew it, ended with a phone call one day. And then what? You did what you had to and you got through it. It was completely shite.

But now you are SOBER.

SOBER sweetheart xxxxx

[BerryLellow]

I'm horrified and heartbroken to come on MN and read about this. I also had to check the date. Wishing you peace and strength for the time ahead... I can't believe life would be so unutterably cruel a second time. Much love x

[QOD]

Dd the girls go to school today? How was it? X

[PacificDogwood]

Hello, Trinity, how are you bearing up, hen?
Have chocolate, instead of . And feel supported by us all.

And damn you, Mouseface and venus, for reducing me to tears. You are all too kind and thoughtful for words .

[BewitchedBotheredandBewildered]

So many people on here Trinity have huge love and respect for you, and it sounds like you massively deserve every ounce of it.

[zeno]

Happy hooking saved my sanity. Best crochet book around.

I'm sending you some solidarity on the multiple loss front Trinity. You are not alone and you will survive.

My current bereavement platitude favourite is that the burden doesn't lessen but your legs get a fuckload stronger. I may have paraphrased that a bit.

You know that the people around you will hold you up until the strength to stand up comes back. It's like one of those theatre club games where you fall backwards, having to trust the catchers enough to let yourself fall.

[TrinityRhino]

'your legs get a fuckload stronger'

I like that

[TrinityRhino]

I have a sore throat and ear

[Trumpton]

Have you honey and a lemon ? If not then any warm drink might help. Your poor body is probably in revolt . Be kind to yourself Sweetie.

[TrinityRhino]

I've found a tescos own lemsip type thing

morning trumpton

[TrinityRhino]

anyone want any snot?

I feel crappy

I want a cuddle but he cant cuddle me

[poachedeggs]

Thinking of you Trin and hoping your ear and throat feel better soon. X

[TantrumsAndBalloons]

I wish I could come and give you a cuddle trin

Snuggle up with your girls, I hope your sore throat gets better. It is probably a physical reaction to all the emotional upset IYSWIM

I always get sick when something horrible happens in my life.

Take care of yourself sweetheart.

[Madamecastafiore]

Thinking of you this morning.

Ship your snot to me, can join the vat of stuff me and DS pumping out at mo. xxx

[TrinityRhino]

morning

thanks eveyone

[Madamecastafiore]

I only want proper green snot though. Don't think of sending me mucus or dribble will you? Proper thick green stuff only!!