Trinity, I agree so much with something that mouseface posted on your previous thread - it was something about how Cliff had made you stronger, and how that will never leave you...
I remember your posts when Neil died, and some of the difficulty and chaos you had to face afterwards, and I have to say you sound like a much, much stronger person. You are stronger and more resilient, and having Cliff in your life has helped with that. But the strength is yours, and even without Cliff as a physical presence beside you, there will be times when the strength of his spirit and yours (together) will get you through. Of course there may be moments of complete despair, but I also think that if those moments happen you will find strength and support from somewhere inside, and you'll keep on putting one foot in front of the other, until you get through the crisis moment.
I read posts about the really practical things you are doing - having a shower, doing things with your dc, what you've eaten, doing the washing up. And every time I give a little cheer. It's important for you, and it's important for the girls.
This is such a terrible thing to happen to you, and you will survive.