Trinityrhinos Unspeakably Shit Stuff part two

[TrinityRhino]

Hi everyone
Thank you for so much help and such kind words x

I felt the same Trin - really pleased to get him home. It felt more complete somehow.

MrD is sitting on our side of the bed; just where I'd like him to be. He gives me comfort sitting there. MrD was a horticulturalist, and I've taken him into his garden for a wander around and a chat too.

Do what is right for you. You'll know, deep down what that is.

I've just caught up with the fact that this has happened again Trinity.

I can't believe life has been so unfair to you and your lovely kids.

I read the first thread, and just wanted to say I loved the little bit you wrote about Cliff. It was so evocative. He was obviously a lovely lovely guy.

I am blown away by how strong you have been, and how strong you are being. Don't know what else to say, 'thinking of you' seems a bit trite. But its true.

I kind of guessed that his funny red hat would already be spoken for, but it was the first thing that popped into my head

Downy is quite right, it's hard to know what to say, especially considering what's already been said.

But you are so brave and stoic and an absolute inspiration.

I like thinking of Mouse scuttling around your shoulders to find the softest, warmest spot to encourage you from.

Hope the comfort of his presence helps you sleep.

xxx

Hello lovely.....

How are you feeling today? How are the girls?

I hope that the hurt is less today, I think that Cliff's ashes being delivered maybe made you feel worse yesterday, I'm sure that the apprehension added to the pain of losing him too, waiting for them to arrive, not knowing where to put them.......

I just wanted you to know that I'm thinking of you lots and hope that you are as okay as you can be sweetheart xxx

definitely feels something like comforting to have the ashes here

tbh I didn't think it would make me feel like that at all but it has

all the more comforting for me not expecting this feeling iyswim

I was thinking it wouldn't help in any way and it has

Of course ISWYM.... it's only natural for it to feel right to have him there as such, with you, near to you :)

It's like Daisy said, she's taken her DH out into the garden and talked to him, shown him what's growing no doubt and maybe even asked his opinion?

In a way, it's like thinking out loud I suppose. xxx

It's nice to be pleasantly surprised for a change.

We have a Christmas Tree with twinkling lights for the winter that we put on it, plus three little decorations for Charlie, George and Harry, (the triplet boys we lost at 16+ wks) each Christmas.

It's growing again, fresh, green shoots :)

I often wonder every day about them, how they'd be older than Nemo, cheeky, a handful, gorgeous and up to their middle's in mud most days helping DH in the garden!

I believe that memories fuel smiles. Hold them close, hold them tight and make them shine, just like you Trin.

I'm off to bed, lots of emotional changes for the wee boy tomorrow, a taster day at school and lots of other paperwork I need to sort out for him before he starts...... so many lists!

Anyway, I hope that you're okay? Ish? I'll buy okayish.

Lots of love to you and the girls, I need to PM you soon, remind me!

Night all, squidges to those who need them xxx

How's today been Trinity?

Have you left Cliff's ashes where they were, or have you been keeping them close, moving them around?

I remember having a little chat with my DM's ashes when they were at Dad's house before being scattered. Didn't feel odd at all and was very comforting.

Wat have you eaten today? We had salmon and cous cous tonight, usually ds2's favourite but tonight he decided he didn't like it! What about the girls, are they coping ok at school? what about sleeping, is that lovely new bed of yours helping you to get a little rest?

Sleep tight. Xxxxx

thank you everyone
feel washed out tonight
Ive left his ashes on the bookcase but I can see them from kitchen and front room
I dont want to move them around, worried about the dog knocking them etc

but I feel like hes everywhere in the house now that they are in place here iyswim

you're right about memories mouse

I've had salmon, veg and potatoes tonight
had a sandwich at lunch

kids are ok, bit tired

night all xx

Well done eating, that shouldn't be taken for granted, not eating can start a real downward spiral.
It's all baby steps Trinity, but I sense something a bit bigger today
Maybe having "him" back in the house has let you breathe a little easier.
It gives you a bit of control back.
xxx

bad day
cant be arsed

Don't be then. Have a day off.

You want to talk about it? X

just being a grumpy angry twat
feeling sorry for myself
just tried to buy a new telly on credit
dick

You aren't a dick.

Has your telly broken?

I've got a spare one in my room if you want it?

I am a dick cause I want something I can have and I'm grumpy about it

2 year old much?

but now I have smoked sausage, cheese and chilli mayo toasted sandwiches for breakfast so I'm being good and eating

and I have remembered my meds

but I let the kids stay off school

bad mum

*cant

Are the girls at school? Did they have some breakfast?

Can you eat some cornflakes or toast?

What about taking Lolly for a walk in the sun - I know that its difficult to get out, but she'd be better walking earlier rather than later when its hot - and would be much happier having had a walk (and I hope a bit of sun will make you feel a bit more positive).

Ah, cross posts. Have they eaten breakfast too?

Can you get them all out in the sun for a walk with Lolly then?

one out of three has had brekkie

dont wanna go and walk

You're entitled to be grumpy and angry.
And the kids are entitled to a day off.
You're not a bad mum, you're fab

What's up with your telly?

Don't go out then, that's fine.
The other 2 will eat when they want to.

Mood swings are to be expected, your body still isn't sure how to react to all the recent stressful events.

At least you can do as you please today, and if that means nothing apart from dog walking or snacking, that is fine too.

Picnic by the sea later on?