The first few days

[toomuch2young]

My Nan has died. The beautiful lady who had brought me up and raised me and as an adult stood by me and supported me. She was the kindest lady in the world and everyone who knew her adored her.
I have so much I wanted to say to her. So much to tell her. How much I love her. How much she means to me.
I wish I had known and could of been there. She was all alone. She looked peaceful after death like she wasn't struggling any more. For this I am so thankful. But for me and my family I am gutted. We have lost our rock, our glue. It's so empty a great big empty hole.
I'm not looking for replys I just wanted to write it down somewhere I wouldn't feel daft admitting it to. To the outside world I'm carrying on, funeral arranging as well as normal things. Inside I'm empty and totally devastated.

so sorry this has happened to you, it's heartbreaking x

Im so very sorry for your loss. Would you like to tell us a little bit about your lovely nan?

I'm so sorry that you have lost your nan

But even if you weren't there, I'm sure that she knew just how much you loved her.

You will feel empty, and devastated - that's entirely natural. But in time you will be able to remember how much she loved you and how much you loved her, without feeling sad.

Massive hold handing.

Nans are very often second mums. Mine died 10 years ago and it's still heart wrenching.
I know things would be different if she was here, things would have turned out different.

She was a rock for us too and my family has just sort of crumbled without her.

It's so hard, I know just how you feel.
Stay strong and close to your family x x x

Thank you for all your kind words.
Today has been up and down, am ok when I'm busy and with people it's when I'm alone and at night it feels overwhelming. Funeral to sort and things.
My nan, well what can i say. The perfect nan, warm, kind, caring, always worrying about us. Loved cooking and baking and looking after people. Loved my grandad so much had spent their lives together. Full of wise sayings and good advice. Always a listening ear and always so interested in what we were all up to. God I miss her already.