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Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

1 2 3 4 5 6 ··· 39 40

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters.

Bereavement

As we go through this painful journey together

985 replies

lavandes · 10/02/2013 21:24

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

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whiteandyelloworchid · 14/02/2013 00:51

TomTom? I typed or tried to tiktok

chipmonkey · 14/02/2013 01:08

Yes, she's great! As is tiktok, who also occasionally goes under the name of a well-known satnav!

shabbatheGreek · 14/02/2013 07:34

Morning girls xx

whiteandyelloworchid · 14/02/2013 10:26

Yeah maybe that's her incognito name!

Wow my heart feels like it weighs 20 stone today.

whiteandyelloworchid · 14/02/2013 10:26

Morning shabbs x

expatinscotland · 14/02/2013 10:29

In loving memory of Aillidh, 19 June 2003 - 7 July 2012.

cortneyfigel95 · 14/02/2013 10:58

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

shabbatheGreek · 14/02/2013 11:03

Can I just say that the last post on here is disgusting. THIS IS A THREAD FOR BEREAVED PARENTS AND FAMILIES. PEOPLE WHO HAVE LOST THEIR CHILD/CHILDREN.

If you want to advertise some scam I suggest you go to the evil thing that is called FACEBOOK.

cortneyfigel95 Off you pop - have some respect next time please

shabbatheGreek · 14/02/2013 11:07

Thank you MNHQ

sydlexic · 14/02/2013 11:08

For me it is 14 years today, I promise you all it does get easier. X

shabbatheGreek · 14/02/2013 11:59

sydlexic - are you a newbie on here? Or have you name changed?

I agree with you - it does get easier - or maybe time does change the way we feel. I am not sure 'how it works' but, for me, it has changed and is more gentle. There are still days though that it rears its ugly head and bites me on the rear end very hard.

sydlexic · 14/02/2013 12:30

Name changed, my adult DD was reading my posts and I found it a bit intrusive.

shabbatheGreek · 14/02/2013 12:37

Ahhhhhh - you have got me intrigued now LOL......

Kneecaps · 14/02/2013 14:46

Hi all, lovely to see the new thread. Remembering my darling boy Seán who died on 18 June 2011 aged 6 in an accident at our home. His First Communion should be in May and the school is full of preparations - he would have loved the attention. Saw all his classmates coming out with Valentine's cards for their mothers - Jesus Christ the triggers are just everywhere

frasersmummy · 14/02/2013 14:47

I think as the years go on being a bereaved parent just becomes part of who you are..

In the early days its like its all you are the pain is overhwelming and you cant/ dont want to think about anything else

As the months go by you realise you have to think of other things be it returning to work /raising the others in your family/ rebuidling your life

At first this hurts too much to contemplate but you do it and as you do it you start building new memories some good some bad, some happy some sad

And soon you have a whole range of experiences and memories from that horrid day onwards

Thats when it just becomes part of who you are.. something dreadful that happened but that you survived and moved forward from

You never forget and when you think back to that dark period there will always be pain.. its just you are now so much more than just a bereaved mummy

chipmonkey · 14/02/2013 17:04

Oh, Kneecaps! My ds3 is making his communion this year. I will think of you and Seán on that day. Even now the communion dresses make me sad and Sylvie-Rose wasn't due to wear one for 7 years!

fm I do hope you're right. I feel at the moment that I am an outer shell of coping but am all bereaved Mum on the inside.

cupofteaplease · 14/02/2013 19:59

I had a huge cry at work today, I've no idea where it came from. I was with two senior colleagues and they both mentioned that I looked a bit down, and with that I just collapsed into uncontrollable tears. They were lovely and let me talk for half an hour or so, just nonsensical things that must have been playing on my mind. I felt a bit silly, but that's my own feelings, not their reactions, they were fab.
It's just hard to explain that it's nothing that's happened to make me cry, it's not a reaction to anything that's been said or done, it's just this thing called grief that overwhelms you from absolutely nowhere.
I'm going to see the GP tomorrow as my general anxiety and feelings of hopelessness are getting worse and I think I may need to adjust my meds.

whiteandyelloworchid · 14/02/2013 21:10

i really hope that right too frasersmummy, i really do want to start building some happier memories soon.
do you think one year on, almost, is still early days?

here

thinking of getting one of these to hang on ds tree in the garden, but i'm a bit scared in case it could case a fire, what do you think, do you think it could cause a fire or am i beig overly paranoid ?

cup do you feel better for a cry? i cried and cried all night last night for hours, woke up with such swollen sore eyes, look a fright, but i actually feel a tiny bit better today
i wonder if it did me good

kneecaps your right the triggers are everywhere, absoulety everywhere

SaintVera · 14/02/2013 21:57

Just written a whole load and pressed the wrong button. Like you white and cup, bad times and public tears. Antidepressants to start tomorrow (Citalopram with valium chaser). Thanks frasersmummy for words of hope. Much needed xxx

whiteandyelloworchid · 15/02/2013 00:54

I really fancy a valium chaser st v

SaintVera · 15/02/2013 09:33

Hi ladies. Last night I had my second dream in a week that Sean is in fact alive and it's all been a terrible mistake. In both dreams, he has swallowed poison and dies, but then comes back to life. In last night's dream, I was ecstatic and about to shout it out loud to everyone I knew that the doctor's have got it all wrong and he is going to live. I told myself everything would be different, now I had this second chance with him. I wouldn't waste a minute of our time together.

Then I woke up and felt utterly devastated.

Yesterday evening I learned that my cousin in America has had major surgery for throat cancer. He is only in his 40's. I remember such a healthy, all-American boy. I feel so sad for his parents

Helyantha · 15/02/2013 09:34

Hello all. I'm closing on 7 years down the line (almost as long as DS3 had on this earth with us :() and there are minutes/hours/days that I feel overwhelmed. It's oddly comforting though, as one of the things I was most worried about in the early days was that we would consign DS to a part of our lives that was gone, a chapter closed, a box that had a lid on & was never opened. That is absolutely not the case: he is a vibrant, real part of our daily lives, even though some people might find that discomfiting.
I think the rainbow crystal's lovely white. I'm sure it won't be a fire hazard.

Helyantha · 15/02/2013 09:36

Oh SaintVera, dreams can be such a comfort & a trial all at the same time! So sorry to hear about your cousin - he will be in my prayers x

ResponsibleAdult · 15/02/2013 10:08

Stumbled on this thread by accident.
You are all so brave and strong. Your love and kindness to each other is staggering. In tears reading and now replying. I have experienced bereavement on several occasions, but not of a child. I know I wouldnt cope as well as any of you, even those who say they arent coping.
Many years ago whilst in Intensive Care I experienced a respiratory arrest, ie stopped breathing. I had an out of body experience. All of the pain was gone, my body was free, the bright light was warm and welcoming and I felt at peace. I wasn't frightened or scared. I was one of the lucky ones and was resuscitated. It gives me great comfort to know I will be going on to a better place.
Your loved ones will always know they were loved. They are at peace and watching over you. They will welcome you when it is time to meet up. Keep them warm in your heart until then.

frasersmummy · 15/02/2013 16:56

I honestly cant remember when I started to feel a bit brighter after losing Fraser.. I think it happens so slowly and in such small increments that you dont notice till one day you realise you can think of your dc and not burst into tears straight away.

The first year is just awful.. no other word for it. What I found was that once I got to a year down the line people tended to say oh its been over a year you need to put it behind you

Having lost my mum just over a year ago I can see why people would think this about any other bereavement .. after a year you do kinda move on and say well ok life goes on ...

But no-one should bury their own child its not natural. We have all carried and given birth to our kids .. you dont get over that in a year ..

Like I say I am not sure how long it took me to get over the very raw early grief.. I think it was a couple of years..maybe more

If you can be bothered to do some detective work you can find my posts from when this trhead started... I was still in a really dark place then .. I think it was about 6 years ago and Fraser would be 9 this year

And whoever mentioned cilatopram .. I would highly reccomend it ..

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