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Bereavement

Find bereavement help and support from other Mumsnetters. See also your choices after baby loss.

Original poster

As we go through this painful journey together

985 replies

lavandes · 10/02/2013 21:24

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

OP posts:
shabbatheGreek · 11/04/2013 23:07

My Gareth had a very bad temper Smile it makes me smile now but it shocked me when I first saw it.

I think the diamond part is beautiful. Would love to have done that.

I believe you can also use the ashes to make a firework.....my God my big fat lardy body would make a marvellous rocket.....that idea also appeals to me but I am very weird Wink

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 11/04/2013 23:12

If you are weird, shabs, then I am honoured to be in that camp! Wink

shabbatheGreek · 11/04/2013 23:39

Grin us nutcases have to stick together xxxx

shabbatheGreek · 12/04/2013 09:11

Morning girls xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 12/04/2013 13:22

Aloha!

shabbatheGreek · 12/04/2013 15:27

Im staying in this cell and not coming out......its quiet in here and, up to now, neither of my kids OR my grandson has found me Grin

SaintVera · 12/04/2013 23:38

Hi everyone, I've been away and had a nice time. Been crying since I got back last night. I miss my boy, I miss my boy, I miss my boy.

I used to hate it when this thread went quiet because I felt on my own. I hope you are all ok and thank you for keeping the thread alive, Shabba. It is a vital place and must keep going.

Love to all of you xxxx

shabbatheGreek · 13/04/2013 07:17

Morning girls xx

Welcome home Saint. x

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 13/04/2013 15:52

Saint I think the thread sometimes goes quiet because people worry that they are burdening others with their feelings. But that is not true. This is a place for understanding, and hopefully, a littlest bit of solace as we share our love for our children.

Noisy Mia.
Wonderful Sean.
Cheeky Matt and big brother Gareth.
So many others...

I do feel I "know" so many children here. Of course I wish it wasn't necessary. But learning about them all, and seeing the passionate love from their mothers is humbling.

frasersmummy · 14/04/2013 20:11

I feel guilty for posting on here tonight after such a long time away .. it seems very self indulgent

but our Fraser would be 9 tomorrow ... I cant believe its been 9 years

I still miss him

shabbatheGreek · 14/04/2013 23:53

So good to see you here FMummy - have missed you very much.

Will be lighting my candles to honour him and you tomorrow xx

shabbatheGreek · 15/04/2013 06:48

Morning girls xx

Thinking about you and Fraser today FM. xx

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 15/04/2013 08:51

Hello FM. Thinking of Fraser today, nine years of complete and absolute love.

shabbatheGreek · 15/04/2013 09:14

Just lighting my 'strawberry' scented candles in honour of Fraser and to remember all our children xx

SaintVera · 15/04/2013 18:49

Remembering Fraser and thinking of you x x

shabbatheGreek · 16/04/2013 06:42

Good morning girls xx

Original poster
lavandes · 16/04/2013 07:35

Morning ladies x

Sending love to you and your family today fm x

OP posts:
shabbatheGreek · 16/04/2013 21:18

My Dad has started going to the local hospice once a week on a Tuesday. Mum is really sulking because she wants to go as well!! I decided that each Tuesday now I will be going down to her house and taking her out somewhere!!

I asked her where she would like to go today....straight away she said 'the cemetery - I haven't been for so long and I need to go!' I dont go at all - hardly ever! We went on a fairly long bus ride (10 minutes in a car) and she walked to the local flower shop. Armed with bunches and bunches of flowers off we went. Another 20 minute walk!! She led the way with me having to link her to just keep up!!

Went into the main gates....we walked all around reading the headstones....getting closer and closer to my boys grave and Mums parents grave (which is next door)

It was blowing a gale but very sunny. We put the flowers on and they looked so beautiful. Just before we came away my precious Mum kissed her fingertips and put the kiss on Gareths picture and then Matts picture. My poor forgetful, stressed out Mum cried. Have never seen her cry before at the graveside. Sad Then she made me walk another 20 minutes, the long way around, back to the bus stop!!

She said tonight 'It feels like it wont be long till we see those lovely lads again.'

MiaAlexandrasmummy · 16/04/2013 22:55

Beautiful, Shabs. There is so much love in your family.

shabbatheGreek · 17/04/2013 06:47

Morning girls xx

Original poster
lavandes · 17/04/2013 07:48

Morning ladies x

Your Mum is lovely Shabs it sounds like she took you to see your boys. xx

OP posts:
shabbatheGreek · 17/04/2013 22:38

MY MUM IS A SURVIVOR

My mum is a survivor, or so I've heard it said.
But I hear her crying at night when all others are in bed.
I watch her lay awake at night and go to hold her hand.
She doesn't know I'm with her to help her understand.
But like the sands on the beach that never wash away...
I watch over my surviving mum, who thinks of me each day.
She wears a smile for others...a smile of disguise.
But through heavens door I see tears flowing from her eyes.

My surviving mum tries to cope with death to keep my memory alive.
As I watch over my surviving mum...through heavens open door
I try to tell her that angels protect me forever more.
But I know that doesn't help her or ease the burden that she bears.
So if you get the chance, go visit her...and show her that you care
For no matter what she says...no matter what she feels
My surving mum has a broken heart that time wont ever heal.

Original poster
lavandes · 18/04/2013 06:42

Morning ladies x

That says it all Shabs so so true, thanks xx

OP posts:
shabbatheGreek · 18/04/2013 06:46

Morning girls xx

SaintVera · 18/04/2013 11:36

A poem with a lot of truth in it Shabs.

We had Sean's birthday on Tuesday. I am in reasonably good form at the moment, ~thanks to citalopram and alcohol~ God knows how. It was bearable, but...empty. I am dealing with life by not dealing with it and festering away at home a lot. I don't judge myself for it. I am not fighting the deadly silence any more, just living with it. I will get out there soon.

I also came off Facebook yesterday as it is doing my nut in and I am too old for feeling paranoia about people who have decided not to contact me on Sean's birthday despite knowing full well it was his birthday, just because of past grievances that I thought were water under the bridge once Sean had died. I can feel the ties to some people from my 'previous life' being cut and it feels ok now and more clear cut. Let them go. I want my energy to go into remembering my boy.

I hope you are all ok...xx