As we go through this painful journey together

[lavandes]

As we go through this painful journey together we share, cry, scream and shout but we never judge, we know that there is always someone to listen. We always remember our precious children who will never be forgotten and will live on forever in our hearts.

Please don't pull out of the thread shabbs, we want to be here to support you x x I want you to have somewhere to talk about your worries
Please stay

Oh dont worry - have been with our thread from the first message on the first day and wont go anywhere. I may flounce out from time to time but I always come back!!! I just felt a bit odd about spreading my sadness about last night.

xxxx

ok shabbs, yeah we all need a break from things from time to time, even this thread i know i've ducked out of this thread for a while

anything to get through it, whatever works

just know im thinking of you and your lovely dad and boys xx

Thank you, I appreciate that xxx

Shabs, why shouldn't you have posted? We are all here to support each other. God, if we weren't allowed to post when we were feeling depressed, the thread would be fairly empty!

LOL - I know xxx

I never know when to shut up though

Never shut up shabba! We love your babble!

LOL!!

Hello again, not been on here in a while but thought I'd poke my head in. I've taken down my profile for the time being just in case there are people from irl nosing, I feel more comfortable that way for now. I have some of you on fb and have been talking on there but I've missed it here!

Hope everyone is coping ok x

Hello all, I saw this on the USA Compassionate Friends site today, and it struck a chord. In response to those people who tell us that we should stop crying about our beautiful children, and as we worry about the health of all those we love :-

Tears have a wisdom all of their own. They come when a person has relaxed enough to let go and to work through the sorrow. They are the natural bleeding of an emotional wound, carrying the poison out of the system.

Especially for shabba, cafe, my five and white's little DD... but well, it's for everyone here really.

thanks mias mummy, for thinking of my dd,that has really touched me, that is a lovely quote.

dh has decided that dds problem, well part of it, is that shes not getting enough sleep, so hes decided to turn her light off at night
as she sleeps with the light on, as shes frightened of the dark.

i don't think this is a good idea, seems cruel to me,esp when shes having a hardtime but he says i don't listen to his ideas.

oh shabba you're so used to being everyone else's rock - you need support tlc or even just containment/venting space too, let's call it 'supervision'

please do not apologise ever ever ever!! and carry on posting depressing things whenever it's with you- honestly, I'm just sorry I have nothing useful to say

mias thank you for that quote, I think that's very true.

not sure about DD white- I don't have experience of an older child's potential grief iyswim. Obvously sleep is important but so is emotional wellbeing, of course.

white we have this night light for our oldest son(who is scared of the dark since Dexter died)

night light

It's motion sensored. It has two settings on constant, then auto. We leave it on til we go to bed then turn it on to auto. It then only comes on if there is movement in the room.

mia what a touching quote and so very true x

Morning girls xx

Sending love to everyone. We can do it.

hi everyone x thinking of you all tomorrow xxx much love and hope its a gentle day x

Morning girls xx

Its just another day my friends....just another day.

Have lit my candles here in Lancashire to show my love for our children who are not physically here. xxx

Morning. I'll be lighting candles today too. Very bittersweet day. It's snowing here, wonder if it'll settle.

I hope you dont mind or think that Im intruding if I just drop some <img loading="lazy" class="inline-flex mumsnet-emoji" alt="Thanks" src="https://www.mumsnet.com/build/assets/thanks-CziME5WC.png"> for everyone and to say much love` to you all today x

Thank you Dreams x

I keep thinking its just another day, this too shall pass. It hurts, I wish James was here. Sam came down this morning and said 'Happy Mothers Day, I love you" but it hurts.

I think this hurt is the price we pay for loving our children so much. I think that if it didn't hurt so much we wouldn't be 'normal' - whatever the hell normal is. Dont think I have been 'normal' for a long time

xxxxxxxxxx

thanks dreams

i need to get a special candle to light on special days

i'll find one out for today though

i've got my lovely dd and my own mum, but i do find this a difficult day.keep trying to think its just another day

much love to you ds xxxxxx
love you always xxx
miss you everyday x

I thank God every day for the gift of motherhood, but the love it brings hurts my heart beyond words on days like today. I promised myself that the loss of DS3 would not define us as a family, especially with DS2's health issues, but today I feel so isolated, so sad again; so different :(
I will light a candle for all our angel children and remember the joy. All will be well.
Love to all xx

i gave my mum her card earlier in the week, i sent her a txt just now simply saying
hi mum hope your having a lovely day lots of love my name, dh name and dds name xxx

then got the reply

hi yes thanks for the card. lots of flowers and cards.hope your as lucky have a great day love mum and dad

for some reason it stings, maybe i;m being super over sensitive.
i have two brothers, and this day lasy year we were sorting ds funeral, on mothers day we sorted out the music. then when we visited my mum, she kept showing me all her gifts and saying, hadn't she done well [regarding all her gifts]
and all i could think was oh lucky you with your flowers choc and cds, i actually dont want any of that crap, i just want my ds here alive and well.