Support thread for anyone grieving for a parent

[mummylin2495]

I have done as maybe has suggested and started a new thread.My comp dosent cope well with long threads.

hi Dad, sorry I wrote to mum there and didn't write to you. I remember one Xmas ages ago, I was about 23 or 24, I came out to yours and mums on Xmas day, had a hangover, was in a foul mood, was annoyed that everyone seemed to have a boyfriend except me......anyway I remember sitting there all day with you and mum, just the 3 of us as usual, and being a real PITA...I remember saying to you "sorry your present wasn't up to much this year dad, but when its your birthday 12 days before Xmas its really hard to get 2 presents you'd like", as if it was your fault you were born in December!!, anyway, you must have been about 70 then, you sat there in your chair, and you said " don't worry darling, seeing your face come through that door on Xmas morning is enough for me"....I couldn't speak, I was so humbled and grateful I had you and mum to come to at Xmas.It brought me right to my senses.

At least you've got mum back now, you waited long enough for her.

Love you dad xx

Oh bless you ssd that was lovely to your dad and I'm sure meant so much to him to know.

Sending my love to you and hugs. Here if u need me xx

Well believe it or not I'm not too bad today but I cried buckets yesterday when we put flowers and Xmas bits up the crem. But today hasnt been to bad. Think I'm done thank god. With a few deep breaths tackling shops :D i brought my mum a lovely mirror with rainbow coloured stones, and i got me from her a bracelet that jumped out in my mind with a feather, and a heart and it had words- very prominent! The girls got her a little something too, And we brought a soft toy bear with a union jack ribbon round it's neck and we got this from my mum to them.

Hope everyone is going along ok

Sounds really nice what you have done mummylin. I put a little gold bauball and a pine cone decorated in silver glitter and we put some flowers down. I really feel she is around but wish she was physically. Miss her like mad.

Thinking of you all xx

May i take this opportunity to thank everyone on this thread for all the support and sympathy over the last few months .It really has helped to be able to talk to others in the same situation.So thankyou all, you have all made this awful time so much more bearable.
t785 i have bought today some silver branches and red which i will mix in with fresh flowers i also bough some sparkly purple baubles on sticks to put in the ground.I didnt take flowers today ,i just wanted to see what the situation was with the flowers i took last.A lot need replacing because the squirrels have pecked the heads off !! i have also got a wreath for both of them which i will take on tuesday.For an extra 50p you could have the wreaths sprayed with snow and sparkle ,so i did! I did take the laminate xmas cards today though. am not feeling too bad most of the time but now and again through the day mum creeps into my mind. I hope she can see my little xmas tree and the little robins. Love and miss you mum xxx

Mum & Dad
As always we will all have a quiet moment over Christmas when we will be thinking of you.
Mum, life was so cruel to take you before you had chance to meet your wonderfully gc. We have tried to make Christmas special for them as you did for us. Although still haven't managed to get Ds to eat chestnut stuffing but will keep trying.However,he has tried sprouts.
The dog died this year so Dad will have another one to walk up there wherever you are. This one isn't as well trained as the last so watch her.
All our love as always
Ps Dad still trying hard to think before I open mouth but it really is difficult to change the habits of a lifetime. I am getting better with Dsis though.

Such a hard time for us all.

And huge hugs to us all.

I posted this below 2 years ago today, feel just the same today as then in fact tbh feel much worse today as having a really hard time generally with everyday life right now, which makes me miss mum even more than before.....
-------------

My mum died 5 years ago today... And my dad almost 9 years ago.

Don't feel like going into too much detail now, but just to say that I miss them both so much.

I hate that they aren't here to watch my wonderful DD grow up. And more than anything I miss my mums cuddles..

I would give up so much for 1 of her cuddles right now....

Hi all.
I haven't been on these threads for a few weeks now as I had been doing mostly "ok", but now I feel like I am going through the motions of christmas, doing shopping, wrapping baking etc without actually wanting to. I just put on a front and act like everything is normal and all good when it's not, because my mum isn't here this christmas
We will go to the crem in the morning and put some flowers next to her tree and her plaque, and that is it, thats all I can do for my mum this christmas.
Miss you mum xxxxxxx

I hope you all have a peaceful christmas xx

Just popping on to wish everyone a peaceful Christmas, will be lighting a candle tonight for everyone who has lost parents.

My parents 15 year anniversary passed quietly on the 21st (Dads birthday was on the 22nd), I went and lit a candle and said a quiet prayer in my local church for them both, and had a little cry.

DH bought a beautiful new star for the top of the christmas tree to make up for the loss of mum and dads fairy and I have to say I really love it, and have decided to let the fairy go.

I will speak to my brothers and sisters on Christmas day aswell, as they nearly all have their own families now and although we will all laugh and be happy a little part of us all will be thinking of them at some part of the day, and I think that only we siblings can understand that.

much love to you, especially those who are facing their first christmas without a parent. xx

I hope everyone here feels some joy during this difficult time x

I just want to say quick check in.

My belief anything we are doing for our parents they can see.
But we are all different.

Thinking of all of you at this hard time and hope that your days go as good as they can do.
Check in anytime if u need a shoulder or ear and just want to just put words out there to them like a letter or diary entry.

Much love and hugs to you all and strength and light.

X

Merry christmas all, i hope the day has gone well. We have had a good day depsite everything, have had a few moments of full on tears where ive shuffled off for a bit. Opened the presents we found in mums house, one is a calendar from the hospice where she was receiving day care seems kind of fitting but sobbed when opened that one. Went to nan and gdads with bro and sis and the children and there were more moments.Its so hard to see my grandad cry :( but i know i couldnt make him feel any better. The dc have had a wonderful day and we have all been spoilt, i am happy if thats the right word but i still feel like a huge part was missing today.

Missing mum always, and wishing things were different.

hi everyone, Merry Christmas to you all. Hope the day passed as happily as possible for everyone here.

we have had a nice day, but there's something missing all the time, have thought of my mum a lot today.... haven't spoken to siblings, mum died 3 months ago and they haven't spoke to me today and wont worry about it...I seen mum every Christmas for the last 40 odd years, they don't realize I might miss her....I need to stop looking for support from them and accept it isn't there, don't think it ever was if I'm honest... isn't it strange you can get more love and support from the internet than from your flesh and blood...anyway like mummylin I want to thank everyone here for listening to me and sharing their loss so honestly, it helps to know how you feel is normal, not crazy!!

I haven't been to where I grew up and scattered mums ashes today or lately, its just too painful just now, too cold and bleak. Going there myself without mum is too hard, she was the person I went with to the area we put the ashes down, I used to take her there regularly and going alone is too awful, I've got to be in the right frame of mind for it and I'm not just now.

love to you all tonight and love to our loved ones too

My wonderful, amazing dad died 4 years ago (June) and this has been the first Xmas spent with my mum at her house. Until now, Xmas has always been at mine.

Today was so hard Everywhere I looked, I saw my dad. From the dining table to the living room - his presence was everywhere but he wasn't there - if that makes sense?

I didn't expect to find today so hard - as I said its been 4 years. Sorry for the self pitying thread but can't explain it to any of my RL friends as none of them have lost parents.

Hi everyone ,i hope you have all managed to cope well with today.I felt very sad this morning when i went to the cemetery ,but after that the day went well.I have had my family around and that has helped a lot.
On a brighter note [ sort of ] Im sure all the posters who have been on here the longest will be glad to hear that my dh bought me a new computer so hopefully when its all geared up i will then be able to load the longer threads,the only thing is i am terrified of change and am already worried and its not even plugged in yet.!! Wishing you all a peacefull day for boxing day.
friendlymum67 you have said what many of us have noticed ,that if someone has not lost a parent ,they dont know how awful it is and how full of grief it leaves us, the children.
Love to you all xxx

reading the end of your post there, mummylin, has brought me some comfort, the bit about "that if someone has not lost a parent ,they dont know how awful it is", knowing that my cousin, and her mum who I've always been close to, have not mentioned my mum once to me over this Xmas period, as if I've just managed to forget her completely. They live abroad, so we only chat online, but I thought we were very close, they are very religious and post many comments about caring for others, etc etc, but they seem to have forgotten I LOST MY MUM AND MIGHT NEED A BIT OF SUPPORT JUST NOW (OOPS SOrry for the caps there), they just want to say what a wonderful Xmas they all had together, not mentioning my mum once, I don't know if its ignorance or just selfishness, I really don't know, it just hurts that they are so thoughtless to me when I need them now.

hugs to you all, i hope you're all busy and not having too much time to think about how sad we feel xx

Xmas day and boxing day wasnt too bad had some fun and laughs but hard too at times, hard boxing day dad done dinner and tea! Really dodnt think i could do dinner but we did, i passed her a plate of food and a glass of wine! I'm sure she was looking down smiling at a lot of moments I'm sure Had to be strong 4 the girls and my dad was bl How was your Xmas and your holiday!? Hope it was calm for you xx

Bloody hard and i missed her like mad.
Hope your days went ok. Was thinking of you all.
who would have thought this time last year she was fine and with us. :(
X

Not sure what happened to my message. Sorry went a bit funny x

Have been away over Christmas - could have done with access to this thread while I was away - it's so hard to celebrate when you don't feel like it. Happy Christmas from me to you all anyway - hope you survived it as well as you could.

We spent Christmas with Dad and my sister and her family at my parents house. It was so hard to be there and Mum not to be - I kept having flashbacks to last Christmas when she was so poorly. I just wanted her there, hale and hearty 'doing' Christmas with all the trimmings. There were a fair few tears from me at times, but the children had a good time I think, so Mum would be pleased with us I hope.

Just New Year to get through now!

Yeah same here maybe. I'm sure she was happy seeing the girls have a good time.
We all did but I felt very empty and it was very hard to not have her here with us.

I put my pulled cracker on her shelf along with a hat. Sat in her place in the front room. Raisd a glass to her.

This thread has been a huge support to me over the last 8 months.
Thank you so much.
Hugs for anyone who needs it x

Hugs all. I hope you are all coping. It's hard isnt it. I've been up and down. My sister bought my dd, on her first christmas, the gift mum was going to get her. That makes me feel a bit shaky and weepy. So sad she will never get her anything else again. Keep strong everyone xx

Beachcombgirl. It's so hard isn't it the thought of them not getting the kiddies anything. I brought my girls a bear from wh smith which I think was 2012 Olympics which I think was nice for them as she would have loved the Olympics. So we got them both a bear from her and I brought me a bracelet from Dorothy perkins with a feather on it
I brought her a lovely mirror compact with rainbow stones. X

dont feel good tonight i have nothing left to plan or keep me occupied and it seems to have hit me now. no more walking to mums after school drop off and spending the day with her

Bless you waiting ((()) hugs to you Hun. I so know what you mean. It hit me massive yesterday morning! Couldn't stop playing songs in relation to her I guess the only thing that gets me through them times is the belief she is around me/us and will never leave us, but I also know some days that doesn't touch the grief I feel of her not being around anymore.

It must be so hard for you that have recently lost as I remember the heart break and how bad it was after I lost her, it's still bad now, but has got a little easier with time.

My thoughts are with you all xx

I think because it was all i used to do i feel at a complete loss now, when littlest monster goes back to school what next. Theres been so much going on recently just wish i had her here, would give anything to see her smile again.