Almost 4 years

[CJsMummy93]

It has almost been 4 years since my son died, 16th November 2008.

A part of me is still missing.
I still don't know what to do.

I need help

I'm so sorry. My niece died in 2009 - we're all still struggling - how the hell does anyone deal with a child dying - I don't know darling - I just hope that one day I'll think of her and smile at her memory instead of bursting in to tears. What help have you had? Do you think bereavement counselling might help you cope?

Yes I have had it, no it hasn't helped.

I'm still crying, all the time. Everyday, every night - until I sleep

Who do you have around you? do you have any support?

No, my family hate me for falling pregnant before I was married. I don't have anything

CJ I have to go to bed - work! I really want to be able to stop and chat but way past my bed time already. I'll be back on here tomorrow though and I'll come and look for you ok?

Hopefully some night owl will be around to chat to you. I'm sorry x

I have college, I have to try sleep too.
I'll be around tomorrow, goodnight x x

Hi CJ

It's a shame that your family is not being more supportive of you and that you did not find bereavement counselling helped you. Yes, families are minefields but in the time that has passed , has no one changed their attitude towards you ? What about your DH - what help is he giving you?

If you found the counselling did not help ( it might have brought up other issues ) have you contacted BACP to find a counsellor who you would get on with and who you feel happy to continue with as long as it takes ?

Oh darling, I am so sorry....I dont know how anyone could get through the loss of a child :(

Do you want to tell us about him?

Sorry you dont have family support, that really sucks :( xx

He was premature, so small - I could hold him with one hand, the double of me when I was a baby.

No, nobody changed their attitude towards me, well not in a good way anyway my DH says he's ok and I will be too, I have to accept what's happened.
But I can't

I bet he was absolutely beautiful.

You will one day but in your own time. When my mum died it took me a good while to accept it but of course, we all expect our parents to die one day before us. No one expects to lose a child so it is going to take you time darling.

Small steps xx

I am so sorry for your loss.

My dear friend is sadly going through the same (though her DS died this year). I think she has found good support from Sands - have you spoken to them? They have a helpline you can call anytime, I understand.

I hope you can find some peace soon an again, I am so so sorry.

No I haven's spoken to them but I have heard a lot about them and got their number. I wouldn't know what to say if ever I did call the helpline