feels like I'm desperately seeking a link to my mum

[ssd]

mum died 2 weeks ago, still cant believe I'm posting that

am desperate to find some link to her, I'm not spiritual or religious, I'm not getting any comfort from anything

has anyone got any advice or positive stories?

have no other wider family for support/links

golemmings i have to be honest and say for me is wasnt better when every thing was sorted.In a way it was worse because whilst we were so busy we didnt have so much time to dwell on mums death so much.But now everything is done i think i am starting to dwell even more on the fact that mum has gone..I am not in floods of tears every day or anything like that ,but i do find myself going over and over what has happened in my mind.And my brother said that whilst we were doing stuff he felt he was doing things for mum ,Now he too feels lost because there is nothing to do for her.
ssd I went to the range and bought loads of big containers.I simply put everything i could into those and bought them all home.Some of them i sorted out quite quickly so my siblings could all have stuff.but there are still about 12 of them i have to do.But i cant bring myself to do it yet.I have some stored under a bed ,some on top of wardrobes and some stacked up on the end of my landing !! they were all at one time in my conservatory,but they had to be moved because we couldnt use the room.I was silly to think i could keep so much stuff but at the time i could not let anything go.I will do it when im in the right frame of mind and ready to let things go to new homes.This is not any clothes ,they went very early on ,but my aunty did that as i could not face it.

ssd Furniture you dont want can go to a charity,knick knacks maybe oxfam or something similar.If you have hardly any room maybe you can just rescue the more personal things.Although saying that i have rescued the most ridiculous things really,but ---- they were my mums.Tiny scraps of paper she had written on ,recipes i found in her handwriting ,all of this i have kept and i will still keep it.I have no idea what is in most of the boxes now,but i will do it eventually.Our loft space is quite full too so it was hard to find room for stuff. If you cant find a charity willing to take furniture ,maybe there is a house clearance firm who will come round and do it for you.

Can you rent a small amount of storage? I have no idea how much it would cost but lots of people offer storage like a large licked cupboard that you could go to whenever you want. It might buy you some more time. If not you have found the strength to care for your mum, you have got through the funeral; you will find the strength to get through this too.
Thinking of you. X

thank you

I have contacted a local charity, they are coming out this week, I think if the clothes and furniture mum had/used could go to someone in need then thats the right thing

also I have bought a box to store the more personal things, things for me to go through as time goes on

am getting there, with all your help xx

ssd i have not read the other posts, only yours. In the first few weeks, my mum felt like she was not there. I felt like a limb had been removed. Something had gone, it was a physical loss.

In time, I saw things and DD spoke of things, that made me feel much closer to her. And now, while I do not have 'faith' I feel much more as if there is a connection somehow, little things I see, and hear. She is near me.

I hope that happens for you, but give it time. It is very early days yet.

So sorry that your mum has died. Much love.
Px

pavlov, something happened tonight that made me amazed, I feel I had a link and I feel calmer now

I just hope this feeling lasts, my moods seem all over the place just now

I dont know if this'll happen again, but I'm so glad it did happen, I'd been looking for something and it has happened

xx

ssd one time is enough. For now. It is enough for you to feel connected again. Don't worry about the next few weeks/months. There will be more times. I really think there will be. And they will mostly come as a surprise to you.

I am glad you have had something happen that helps [hugs]

thank you xx