Friend killed himself last week.....................................................!

[jmg1]

I did not want to post about it but I have no one to talk to and I feel terrible.

I to have ofter wandered why bad crap seems to keep happening to some people/families who least deserve it.

Yesterday I said to my kids that I was sad because a friend of mine had died. This morning at breakfast, dd 4 said, Daddy is a bit sad because his friend died.

I put on an act much of the time for the kids and other people, as many people do but I think the kids should know it is ok to be upset about some things and talk about it, rather than to pretend everything is fine.

jmg _ you need to find someone in real life who you can talk to about all this, a counsellor or someone neutral who is just there to listen. Apart from anything else, it would help you to find out what you think about stuff, sometimes you don't know till you talk about it....

I think you're right, it is REALLY important for you to share with your kids that you feel sad, and a little of why - otherwise they will sense it anyway and assume it is something they have caused. And how else can you be emotionally close to them, and them to you?

And it does all seem so unfair. I know someone and I think 'how much more could happen to this one lovely man?'.

Hold tight, jmg.

I've been looking at flights but not possible to get there for the funeral.

Lots of things from the past going through my mind, like watching a film. I have been told I have not grieved for my lost loved ones. I don't know the definition of grieving.

I think I now have too many images of people I have been close to, who are dead gushing around my head.

Have a look at this \link{http://www.crusebereavementcare.org.uk/\cruse}

Oh jmg1 Im so sorry and I cant really add anything that hasnt already been said, I know we have only chatted briefly but please feel free to cat me if you ever want to even if only to discuss Argos! Sending you [[hugs]]

Grieving is tough JMGI have lost both of my parents I don't know your history much, but you have my sympathies. Close friends would be able to share your grief, I understand why you feel the need to withdraw. It takes time and you need to allow yourself to feel like absolute crapthat is part of the grieving process itself. I was never taught how to grieve by my parents adn things have been hard that way..I have tried to give my kids the teaching that I did not get. You need extra sleep at this time and to be kind to yourself. Talk to your children about your friend (of course in an appropriate way). This is all part of the healing. It took me more than two years to even be able to speak about my parents without crying. I don't mean to be trite at allthere are lots of books about grieving also if anything like that would help. Keep coming on here for support of course. I am sending you my good thoughts for some peaceful sleep.

jmg - I am so sorry .

My cousin committed suicide last year, and did it exactly the same way as my Mum had. Just horrendous and I had flashbacks and nightmares for a few weeks.

Have you heard of SOBS (Survivors of Bereavement by Suicide). I have found them helpful.

\link{http://sobs.admin.care4free.net\SOBS}

Thanks for the links, I spoke to sobs a few times three years ago. Actually just thinking about that has made me realise what an absolute state I was in then after my dp, my sister and my Mother died within 3 months of each other.

I think my friends death has re-ignited everything and as some people say - suicide is possibly the worst way to loose someone you care about.

how is the flu mhamai, will you be out tonight?

Just popping in to see how you are doing today?

Mabye it would be worth talking to sobs again, as the death of your friend has obviously brought everything else back to the forefront of your mind.

Take care, I'm thinking of you

thanks, feeling better than yesterday.

I'm so sorry, jmg. :(

Hi jmg, Im glad your feeling a bit better today, this bloomin flu isnt letting up so no I wont be out there amidst the fun and frivolites today but Jesus compared to what you have had to endure it kinda puts things into perspective for me! Anywho I'll more than likely be skulking about on MN feeling sorry for myself! but I do intend to have a glass or two for St Pat later, flu or no bloomin flu!

Did you get any feedback about how the funeral went?

... and how are you?

Yes I have spoken to my friend who went and texts to/from sister of friend who died.

She can't phone at the moment, she is such a lovely person and I know the pain she is must be in

I am ok thanks, still bit low but better than last week. Took kids to a party yesterday and found nice place for lunch before.

We all have to get on with it don't we?

How are you?

I'm fine - chuntering along and really busy at work! :)

No time for Mumsnet at the moment!