"You Light The Skies Up Above Me, A Star So Bright You Blind Me" Remembering all our precious children.

[fioled]

For my beautiful baby Anabelle Violet, loved and missed to the moon and back, always xxx How hard we wish that you were here baby girl.

Twinkle twinkle little star,
Up above the world so high,
Like a diamond in the sky.

For all our babies and children, big and small xx

shabba the comfort for me comes knowing that you all are here for me, and you are also thinking of Mia.

tami, i'm okish, just been super low past few days, and can't seem to lift myself.
been having ups and downs alot, hopeing for an up day soon
how are you doing?
yes i guessi should try not to worry so much about the effect of all this on dd, suppose i just want her to have a happy childhood full of happy times and good memories.
not for her first experience of death to be her baby brother
i wonder if this will be one of her earliest memories

but this is the hand we have been dealt, i will have to try to make the best of it somehow

i look at our wedding photo on the side and i think how healthy and young and carefree me and dh looked, and i think, crumbs we really didnt know what life had instore for us did we, yet its a good job we don't know really what life holds instore

expat, how have you got on with ordering A's stone?
do you have any idea how long it will take?

i decided to take everyones advice and not go to that preschool event.

miasmummy, i am so sorry to hear that.

Still haven't finalised the order, white, just a few details - DH and I need to decide how big we want our hearts to be.

Mia's Mum, have lit Aillidh's candle for you - she had a Disney Princesses mug that she loved and I've made a candle out of it.

expat, yes best to take your time and get it just right.
what a clever idea to make a candle out of aillidhs much loved mug.

Miasmummy I'm often awake in the wee small hours - if I am awake, I will mark the moment, but am thinking of you anyway (((hugs))) Tomorrow night is the last time that I felt Tamsin, so (in a small way) I feel I am holding your hand through this. Gentlest, warmest hugs. I hope tonight & tommorrow passes as gently as it can for you xxxxx

I feel so very honoured by you all, and the candles being lit for Mia. tami - thank you. Not sure myself if I can bear to wake myself at the moment she died... but if I am awake, I know I will stay so. It won't make things any better, will it?

Mias - I think that often the build up to 'the day' is worse than the actual day. I hope that makes sense and I hope I haven't upset you saying it. Nothing can ever hurt more than the loss of our precious children, and I hope that you find some kind of peace and a quiet corner to sit and think about your precious little lady. xxxx

i'm also usually awake in the small hours, i shall think of mia tonght and tomorrow.
just wish i could do more.
mia is so so loved your love for her shines through like a million suns

shabba I know you are right... in a strange way, I feel that this remember day will somehow mean the pain gets less in the future, people will think I don't have the right to mourn Mia, and that I should simply focus on the birth of her sibling in 6 weeks' time. So I welcome the pain, want the grief, just to be sure my love for Mia burns fiercely in my heart.

However, tomorrow we will go to Mia's Wood to plant snowdrops and bluebells. As a friend who lost his wife last year too, said to me - they are plants "which bring colour during the late winter to remind us that although everything looks drab and dead, life is not far away"...

mias mum, a brave parent got up and read this poem at a sand church service i went to, thought you might like to hear it xx

one year

one year will pass
i can feel it edging closer
how will the world seem then?
it wont have changed as we have
how could it?
12 months are not enough

some say times a healer
we know that isn't true
12 months, 12 years 12 lifetimes
wont change things for me and you
but now we know we are not alone
but the world is not as we thought
there are hearts as ours that have suffered so
many that are torn apart

one year will come and then be gone
some will notice then move on
yet however many years go by
our tears will fall and we will cry
together forever my love
to some we may try to explain
to others we may not
about the pain the grief and the loss

and then i guess another year
will be here and gone
and the world still wont look
as it once had done

but one thing will have remained true
thats the love between me and you

Thank you white That poem does describe things perfectly. The world isn't as I thought it was, and there are so many people here who know that too.

I think thats a lovely plan, to plant the snowdrops and bluebells in mias Wood.

I love the poems you post, white.

I remember telling a friend the night Aillidh was diagnosed, 'All these years, I did everything I could to keep her safe. Safe from the bad things in the world. And all along, all along, the demon was inside.'

A year after Mia passed to the light, Mias
Big hugs across the Irish sea xx

Thinking of mia today x x and mias mummy and daddy x x

Expat glad you liked the poem
((()))l

Thinking of you all today miasmummy. A candle will be lit here for your gorgeous Mia.

I hope today brings some kind of release for you x

Thoughts and love to you and yours Miasmummy

Thinking of Mia & family with love x

Miasmummy I kind of hope you weren't awake, but if you were, then I was thinking of you, Mia & your family. Hope today is as peaceful as it can be. Lots & lots of love to you & your beautiful red-headed girl xxxxx

Sending lots of love to you and your family today miasmum xx

Am going to keep Aillidh's candle burning all day, for Mia and also for MNer cupsoftea, who lost her 13-month old daughter, Bea, today here.

So so sorry for the loss of all our children.

Oh Expat, I've not long seen cupoftea's update that Bea has died. It is just so very sad, she is an amazing woman and her little girl so very special. I hate that so many people feel and live with this pain and loss, it's so incredibly unfair

Took our cats to the vet for jags to put them in cattery at Christmas, and the ginger cat has a worryingly lumpy mammary gland. The vet said this is a scary area to have lumpiness. Will recheck in 3 weeks, and if it's that bastard cancer will put him to sleep.