Christmas Card

7 replies

curlycat · 17/12/2011 22:52

Can some please help me to decide what to write on my friends christmas card. her gorgeous ds2 died in april - i have bought a 'thinking of you at xmas' card but i want to write something along the lines of i know it won't be a funfilled happy xmas but i'm thinking of her and her dh and ds1. i also want to mention ds2s name because it helps her to know people are thinking of him.
going to bed now but i'll look back in the morning - thank you

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ChippingInLovesChristmasLights · 17/12/2011 22:58

Pretty much what you wrote.

I'll/We'll be thinking of you at Christmas, I know it's going to be very difficult for you and that you will all be missing DS2 terribly. I hope you can enjoy moments of it with DS1. (if you are near them>>). If you would like some company at anytime just call, it would be lovely to see you if you are feeling up to it. Lots of love CurlyCat.

Without knowing them it's hard to say what would be best to write - but you have already chosen a sensitive card and are thinking about what to write and will mention DS2 - you can't go far wrong x

Original poster

curlycat · 17/12/2011 23:01

thank you - they are being very strong and getting on with it for ds1 but they are dreading xmas. don't not want to send a card just don't want to upset them but then i think if i didn't send something it would upset her more - its so difficult!

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Whatevertheweather · 17/12/2011 23:06

My dd2 died in August. The nicest christmas card we've received simply had 'Remembering your darling Erin at Christmas and always' across the bottom. You sound so kind and thoughtful. It is very difficult. We've only received 2 cards that mention her. The ones that don't make me a bit sad but I know it's just because people don't know what to say.

Original poster

curlycat · 18/12/2011 14:13

whatever i'm so sorry about your dd and i know what you mean about not mentioning their name but i know it hurts my friend more than anything thinking that people are going to forget about her ds2. we talk about him all the time and it just doesn't seem right not to mention him just because its xmas. i hope you have as good a christmas as you can and i'll think of your wee erin when i write my card xx

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chipmonkey · 22/12/2011 10:35

My dd died in October. I wasn't expecting cards at all as it's not traditional in Ireland to send them to a bereaved family but have had a few from relatives. Very few have mentioned Sylvie-Rose. My cousin's wife did a lovely thing though. She sent a card and also a small angel decoration for our Christmas tree. She said someone did the same for her when her sister died and she thinks of her sister when hanging up the decoration every year.

manicinsomniac · 22/12/2011 11:12

I think what chippingin wrote is perfect - sympathetic, acknowledges that it won't be a happy time but sends best wishes anyway and doesn't ignore their younger son.

I made Christmas cards with my class at school on Friday and I have one little girl whose mother died a little while ago. She put her hand up and asked for a new piece of card because she'd ripped hers using a cheap rubber. I said "oh dear, you need to be careful with them, what did you do wrong?" She said "I wrote Dear Mummy and Daddy because I forgot." I had to turn around to get the tears out of my eyes but then we had a chat and decided that actually, it would be lovely if her Mummy was included on the card and she wrote "Dear Daddy and Mummy-who-is-there-even-if-I-can't-see-you"

Very different when addressing a card from an adult perspective but I think the sentiment should be the same. Your friend's child is still their child, no matter what.

manicinsomniac · 22/12/2011 11:13

I think what chippingin wrote is perfect - sympathetic, acknowledges that it won't be a happy time but sends best wishes anyway and doesn't ignore their younger son.

Very different when addressing a card from an adult perspective but I think the sentiment should be the same. Your friend's child is still their child, no matter what.

Flip