how long does it take.........

[Auntybrandybutter]

to get over it?

lots of time.... and then week by week it slowly feels less, but definately never gone. you will have days that blow you away and they are hard. like the one week since they've been gone, then two and so on. i'm sorry for your loss......hugs

Physically, less time tha you think, as the m itself is so awful and intense, but eases quickly.
Emotionally, well, you've got to give yourself a chance to grieve and to accept it.

I miscarried in August and still have 'black days' is that normal.
I lost my Dad 3 years ago and cry regulerly for him too.
This time of year is hard! I want my Dad and my bump!!!
Am I silly?

No you are not silly.

I had a m/c last year and have since gone on to have a beautiful boy but I still have bad days when I get all emotional about what could of been.

just very weepy at the min. DH works all hours and I am missing him!! Silly arent I? You would think I was a teenager the way I go on!

auntybrandybutter - you are not at all silly. you have lossed ones that you love very much. nothing you do or say could ever be contrived as silly.....dh working long hours means he is not there when you really need a big bear hug and a shoulder to cry on. sending you hugs

thanks!! I feel stupid!! Just really weepy. I can only think its because of these things.

thanks!! I feel stupid!! Just really weepy. I can only think its because of these things.

I lost my first baby to miscarriage 20 years ago, and there are times that I still cry for what might have been. It never goes away but it does get easier to cope with.

You need to give yourself time and space to grieve, some days will be worse than others, but eventually things will start to feel less black and you'll be able to smile when you remember the nice things about your dad.

Think its this time of year. He loved Christmas! Plus I look at my little ones he never saw and know how much joy they would have given him and he them.

how old are your ittle ones?

oops little ones.....sorry getting late here 1030pm fingers jumble!

yougest is 14 months. Other one 3 next week.

on christmas day is there anything your dad really really liked to do?

cook!

gee! same as my dad! that landed me on my bum! he used to cook the BEST rissoles! now i'm silly!!!
i dont know your situation well enough and cooking i am having probs using my brain creatively at this time of night but my thoughts were similar to (obviously your littlest one being too little) but your elder child could help you plant a tree, a flowery plant or as in my case since dad loved to cook, plant a vegetable of some description.
my words are probably not getting across my point, but something like in remembrance, something nice that reminds you of your dad and something the kids can help you with?

Oh I hope i havent upset you!!!
Its awful how these waves come over us. I bought some garden furniture with some monet mum gave me when he died because he loved his garden and s Snowman christmas decoration as he loved Christmas and the snowman!
I just wish my younger children could have met their wonderful Grandpa!!

no you havent upset me, time difference means had to go to bed, thats all! - i just wish i could have thought of something nice you could do ie: from you kids to their grandpa.
that sounds lovely anyway what you have done!

where do you live Gravity?

You would think after 3 years I would feel better! But i have had to be there for my Mum and feel i have not aloud myself time. Got alot off my chest with my Mum the other day and feel a bit better.

hi auntybrandybutter, i am in australia. i think we are about 10 hours different at the moment - well its nearly 6pm.

honey, you compare three years without him to a lifetime that you knew your dad. there is no comparison.

dont bottle it up, ever. its the worst you can do. i think thats why we all end up on here!

its strange isnt it the older we get our roles seem to reverse with our parents, we need to care for them instead of vice versa. dont forget to let her be your mum though.

eight hours!