Alfiesmum, sorry if resurrecting this thread brings back any pain but I just wanted to say how sorry I am. My dad passed away the day before your Mum, and everything you say in your posts before and after the event could have been said by me. I am so sorry for you. It's really hard - it must be harder for you because your mum was so young. My dad was 80, he had been diagnosed with a lymphoma only a month ago and was waiting for chemotherapy to treat it (which TBH I don't think he would have been able to cope with). Shortly afterwards he developed a chest ifection that the antibiotics couldn't seem to get rid of, then he started to have trouble breathing and was taken to hospital and put on oxygen. They told us that night (Thurs) that he wouldn't recover from the infection, and that it would be quick, probably within 4-24 hours. Like you we (mum my 2 brothers and I)stayed at the hospital round the clock, taking it in turns to be there, and he died at 8.30 on Saturday with my Mum holding his hand and my brother there too. I got there half an hour later and he looked as though he had just fallen asleep. It was his funeral on Tuesday. I am still waiting for the truth to hit me.
It meant to much to me, mum and my brothers (and I hope to Dad too) that we were able to be with him and tell him how much we loved him at the end. Luckily he wasn't in pain and the end was quite peaceful. But I will miss him so much.
What makes me cry is the thought of my two little boys growing up without their granddad - he was such a super granddad. My 5 year old loved being with him, pottering around the garden, walking in the woods; somehow being with him calmed him down and made him less of a manic little boy. My 1 year old will probably not remember him.
I wrote the following eulogy for his funeral; the minister read it out for me. I couldn't have done it myself.
"My brothers and I will miss our Dad more than words can say. To each of us he was very special and we all have our own memories of him as we grew up. I particularly remember the stories he used to tell us in bed on weekend mornings: Goldilocks and the Three Bears and Little Red Riding Hood especially, and how he could do a very convincing scary wolf voice. There are also many happy memories of holidays on the beach in Wales, when he would spend hours helping DB1 construct detailed irrigation systems in the sand, before finally letting the seawaters flood in. And to DB2 he was an invaluable fishing coach, passing on all his trade secrets from father to son, until the son regularly began to bring home a bigger and more impressive catch than the father.
Each of us can recall countless occasions on which his support and wisdom proved invaluable and showed us the right way to proceed. I have relied on him so many times and I was as proud of him as he was of me when he walked me down the aisle of this church on my wedding day to DH. But perhaps the role to which he was most suited in life was the one he had so little time to enjoy: as grandfather to DS1 and DS2. His love and enthusiasm for the boys, his endless patience with them, and their fun and mutual delight in each other's company has enriched their early lives and I am sure that DS1, especially, will never forget him.
Dad's strong faith meant he did not fear death. He will always be with us in our hearts, and the example of love, patience, tolerance and kindness he set for us will be our guide for the future."
I hope your memories of your mum will be happy ones, alfiesmum.
x