Aaarghh!! 4 year old constantly wetting himself

[IvaNighSpare]

My DS, aged 4yrs and 10months has been toilet trained for some time, but, recently has developed a habit of wetting his pants.
It only seems to occur when he is engrossed in activities he rweally enjoys so I am concluding that this is a habit borne out of distraction and even laziness.
He is perfectly capable of using the toilet himself and will do so when he's not occupied in far more interesing things. So I'm pretty sure it's not a physiological issue. He's not yet dry at night, but at the moment I'm not really bothered as there are bigger issues at stake.
It's now becoming an issue as he is most susceptible to doing this when at pre-school or on play-dates, which you can imagine causes all kind of angst.
I've spoken to his teachers who have advised they will keep prompting him and make sure he doesn't spend too long on one activity (the computer seems to be the biggest problem).
I'm trying to stay calm about it all but it's getting to the stage that I'm getting increasingly more frustrated and wondering if I'm going to have to resort to some kind of discipline measures to counteract this. I've already tried the reward system for dry days but he really doesn't seem that bothered.
Any support or advice would be gratefully received.

hi

how about rewarding him in a currency he deals in ie computer usage.

try "when youve come and done a wee for me on the toilet then you can have a play on the computer"

for my children stckers and charts held no interest

try not to punish because when you do that and the wetting continues(which is poss)
when you sit down in the evening its you that ends up feeling awful. (i know ive done it)

stay calm and lots of praise x

My son is like this. He is 3.6 and was dry in the day before 2 (his insistance not mine).

At around 3 years of age he just randomly wet himself, like you say when he was engrossed in something.

Playgroup said it was very common and just to keep up with the regular prompts. DS always said he didnt need to go, but then he'd happily wee in an empty milk bottle or something

Thankfully he seems tohave grown out of it 6 months later.

Its very trying and you have my sympathy.

My advice would be to make sure your DS uses the toilet before any activity that takes longer than 15 to 20 mins. I do this with DS who is 3yo. I ask him to sit on potty before lunch, before playing Lego, before anything really (esp play activities!!) so that he won't pee his pants. Better to be safe than sorry. Get him into a habit of this and hopefully it will break the cycle.

Iva - uncanny to read your OP as I was about to start a similar thread myself. DD has just wet herself at home, which makes it about the 4th accident this week. She will be 5 next month, just finishing Reception year at school. Twice this week she has come home from school in spare clothes as she has wet herself at school. I haven't yet spoken to DD's teacher about it but I think at her age it would be unreasonable to be asking her to prompt her to go to the toilet as she has a class of 21 other children to teach.

With DD I think it is also a case of too busy/distracted and so always leaves it too late to get to the toilet. (I never see her walking to the loo, she is always running in a state of panic).

I think it would help if she was embarrassed by the wetting but she seems strangely unbothered about it. This isn't a recent problem either, I seem to recall posting on here about a year ago but it is a problem that 'peaks' (ie. maybe no wetting for weeks and then a spate over several days). Someone at the time suggested taking her to the docs in case it was maybe a urinary infection, but she has no other symptoms (no pain) and it is a problem that comes and goes so this seems unlikely.

Any more advice gratefully received ...

Lolaladybird my DD is also moving into year one and has a problem wetting. For her it is a daily acurance (often several times). The health visitor did a urinary test all fine, She couldnt be refered to the hospital until she turns 7. By which time we are concerned she will have set behaviour pattern. She doesnt mind being wet or smelly. We prompt her all the time just to get "I don`t need it". Sticker charts worked first time only. Can not work out where we are going wrong her broter was so easy to train in comparison.
Asked her teachers and teaching assistants to help but like you mentioned they are buzy. My DD is in a early unit of over 50. I know she is not the only one the other 2 in her class having problems are not wet as often. It is strange they are girls too. I'd also like some advise.

this sounds exactly like my daughter who has just turned 5. twice in last week arrived home in spare clothes having wet herself and often comes back from playdates in different pants/outfits. She doesn't seem to be bothered about being wet or whatever although I talk about being a big girl and going before she starts an activity etc. As with your daughter, it peaks every few weeks or so. I have tried everything that I can think of - stickers, telling off, reasoning, rewards, denying her things (the latest is that I have said she can't go any more playdates until she stops weeing herself). Have been to the GP with suspected urinary infection and all is fine there. It is so frustrating. When I ask her why she has wet herself, she just looks at me. Any advice from anybody who has experienced similar and managed to resolve it, would be great!

Sorry don't have any advice but just to say my Ds1 is exactly the same and is also in reception. He'd been dry during the day for nearly 2yrs but has been soiling himself for past few mths on and off. Everything I try doesn't seem to work . I asked the teachers and they said he could take a friend to toilet as they are too busy to go with him. Ds1 likes ths idea but has not been doing this and I think he's holding it in whilst doing an activity and then obviously it leads to an accident. He also doesn't seem to mind the smell/mess. Also tested for urinary infection, test negative. Doc says it's a phase and just try to stay calm and reassure child it's ok. Easier said than done sometimes

Just an idea for those of you who say it 'peaks' every few weeks...

DS (3.10) never usually wets himself yet we've had about 3 or 4 incidences in the last week. I somehow twigged it was because he was a bit constipated ie: the build up of poo was pressing on his bladder making it smaller and giving him less time than he realised to get to the loo

He has a bit of a history of constipation anyway so I gave him some lactulose plus lots of fruit & drink and after a few massive poos he's not wet himself since