Not pointing yet at 12.5 months - worried

[DebsCee]

My son is 12.5 months old and is not pointing yet. He does wave and clap and grab for toys but has made no attempt to point at objects or at pictures or books. I also worry because he doesn't play with blocks, like his peers do. He just picks them up and throws them, never posted them in the slots where they should go, nor used his shape sorter - he has absolutely no interest.

Am I worrying unecessarily or should I speak to my (useless!) HV?

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

I think 12.5 months is too early to be worried about not pointing. It sounds like he is interested in toys if he is grabbing for them. Waving and clapping are good. I shouldn't worry, just keep an eye on things.

Socci

What sort of gestures do you mean?

He will play with his hoops, taking them off - won't put them back on though. He will press buttons on every toy he has and push the shapes into the sorter if I line them up for him, but he won't pick up a shape and post it himself. He loves to sit and look at books of all shapes and sizes and loves being read to.

He babbles constantly and loudly and shouts for attention, waves when you leave or enter the room, gives kisses and blinks on command and will shake hands if you say 'how do you do' but I can't think of any other gestures that he does to be honest.

I haven't stopped worrying about him since he was born - i am a worrier by nature, but we had a very difficult birth with low Apgar scores and he was in SCBU for 10 days.

He also isn't mobile yet, rolls everywhere and kind of scoots backwards on his belly, has been for 3 months now. Doesn't pull up or cruise, but will put his feet on the floor when you stand him up, but doesn't walk when he's holding your fingers, just kind of wobbles. I can't leave him to stand against anything because he would fall over.

Because of his birth he has regular Paed appointments but 2 weeks ago she said his muscle tone looked fine, not high or low, but she was very new to the job so I'm worried she has missed something.

Message withdrawn

Message withdrawn

DebsC my boy is a little younger than yours (101/2) months, he is very similar in terms of development. He was also in NICU (neonatal intensive care unit, we live in NZ) for several weeks. I think sometimes that babes that have a hard start to life take a bit longer to get going, I think they concentrate on developing and maturing inside before it starts to manifest outside if you know what I mean. Isaac doesnt point, can wave but not consistently, doesnt stack or post, isnt mobile, cant pull up or cruise but will "balance" if put in supported standing position. Give him more time and try not to worry (Im a fine one to talk) just keep raising any concerns you have with everyone you see.

Debs - Jess is the same age, and although she is crawling and just staring to cruise about, the play side of things seems totally normal! She will take hoops off but not put them back and has no idea about shape sorters either! Jess just chucks her duplo bricks about and doesnt actually do anything with them so i wouldnt be too worried. I also know a 13.5 month old who is only just crawling and wont stand on her feet either.... he will get there, but he just needs a bit more time. HTH

Give the pointing a little bit longer. It does start very suddenly when it does. I wouldn't worry prsonally until 15 months and then I would give a few extra months so probably wouldn't do anything until 18 months. (I've got it planned out because of ds3).

I dont remember the pointing phase at all!! My 10 months doesnt point!

10 months is early to point. Children should be pointing out things of interest by 18 months.

Don't know if this will reassure you, DebsGee...ds2 is almost 14 months, he didn't point or do the shape sorter things until very almost 13 months; now he's doing those things and talking, which i find amazing since my others were such late talkers.

Still not interested in books except as things to throw, though, usually down the stairs or in the bath/toilet.

DebsCee, do you point out and name lots of things to your DS?

Because, out of interest, my DD2 (10 months) loves pointing and does it a lot, and it's only in hindsight that I have realised DD1 never did it at all really.

The reason being I think is that with DD1 I had lots of time and energy to point and name many things, all the time. DD2, unfortunately doesn't have the same 'luxury' (time, lack of individual attention, etc.) So has to ask, ie point a lot.

HTH

Though, interestingly, shape sorters didn't interest DD1 much when she was very young, in her case that was just down to preferance I think.

I don't think you have to worry about not pointing until 18 months. Waving rocks! My (normal) dd would not wave until she was 14 months.

Thanks everyone for your replies.

BB - I do spend a lot of time pointing out things to my son and when I do he always looks at what i'm pointing to and tries to say the word, cat, dog, duck etc. His words are quite good, not perfect but he really tries to copy what you say. If I say "where's your cup" he'll look for it and then try to reach out for it, but doesn't point to it.

It's just so frustrating when you see other babies doing stuff that your's doesn't, comparing is wrong I know, but also impossible to avoid, especially if others point out differences too!

I first worried about his lack of pointing because another mum told me that her LO was checked for it at her 12 month HV check. My DS would have failed at this point, just hope he starts to point soon

I agree too early. And not pointing does NOT always mean autism. My daughter has global developmental delay. She has been delayed with ALL her gross and fine motor skills. She was evalauted with 'CHAT' at 18 months, not 12. That's simply too young to tell.

Following a point is fine- autistic children who don't point can't follow a point very reliably either- they just don't get the whole pointing thing. He sounds fine to me.

And btw, try to avoid comparing at ALL costs! My first cousin was delayed in all his motor skills as well. He's now a senior engineer at Microsoft. He finished his masters at 22.

expat - I guess to be honest my real worry isn't autism but GDD, CP or similar because of his birth. He wasn't preamture, 12 days over actually, and a had a real struggle in the first few days.

It's everything taken together I guess, his lack of mobility and desire even to try and pull up on things. My paed didn't seem overly worried because his pincer grasp is good, he feeds himself finger foods and his language is good too. My HV was happy enough to refer us to a physio though, I hope she (the physio) will at least be able to tell what, if any, kind of 'difficulty' he has.

if you're watching for something its very easy to see things that aren't there (I should know my ds3 is high risk for autism and boy do I over analyse everything he does). hard though it is I think we almost have to try and switch off until they're oild ebough for us to know. Hard though.

My DD didn't walk till 22 months. Now, she runs everywhere.

It's at least 18 months till they'll start evaluating for GDD, and tbh, it isn't the end of hte world.

Other peoples' kids may appear more 'advanced', but DD is one of the most laid-back, good-natured, easy-going and happy children she's very popular with both other children and adults.

Everyone has different gifts.

If they should be pointing by 18 months, by what age should they be following a point?

Thanks

18 months

DebsCee, then he sounds very similar to my DD1, as with your DS, she never needed to point .

It's great that he attempts to repeat what you say and fantastic that he recognises items you name for him!

I honestly wouldn't worry about a lack of pointing; that he reaches for objects would seem to infer that there isn't a motor skill issue, as it's a very similar movement.

Try not to worry or even wait in the hope of him pointing, not all children do! Just like some skip crawling, and/or shape sorters, for example.

....sorry, meant to add a at the end!