Worried about DS2's school readiness

[PeachyClair]

Hiya.

DS2 starts school in a few weeks, but I am worried that despite being four and a half he is nowhere near ready. He has been to Nursery etc since 2 1/2, but it's silly things and he doesn't want to move forwards- like can't turn clothes inside thhe right way, WON'T dress himself (even though he could at 3, just makes baby noises at me and throws it back), and he can't sit still either, not even for two minutes.

I can't get him to try and write his name (he used to be able, now he scrawls and scribbles, then more baby talk).

I know I might be over worrying as DS1 has AS and was TOO good probably at sitting still and concentrating, and being independent, but two year old ds2 can do more things than DS2 sometimes! At least he tries!

bump

anyone else have any experience of this? Did they settle, or was it hard work? Any ideas of anything I can do to improve concentration?

Fully acknowledge baby talk possibly due treatment by SN brother, who is often awful to him.

I imagine that your son, as with most children, will behave quite differently at school. If he can physically dress himself he probably will do it at school because he'll have lots of incentives to do so eg stickers, praise from the teacher, peer pressure, not wanting to be last, not being able to go outside to play etc Most children won't 'try it on' with a teacher like they do with family.
It's pretty much the same with sitting still and writing his name etc. He'll do it because he'll see his peers doing it, because he'll want to please the teacher, and because he'll have lots of constant positive encouragement and incentives.
It may well not happen all at once but it should come with time. At four and a half he's still very young and his teacher wont expect him to have great concentration, ability and a perfect attitude.
So, don't worry

Hello, My ds2 starts in september too and I'm in a state of nervous anxiety. DS 1 was almost 5 when he started and hated every second of school, but although has now been at school for 2 years, STILL can't sit still or concentrate very well! (but he is dyslexic it transpires and bright) He couldn't read or write ANYTHING before he went to school, just wasn't interested. I honestly wish I could have kept him at home for another coupla years til he was more 'ready'. DS2 is 5 in oct and very very excited about school, and very ready to learn more stuff. However, socially it's going to be a nightmare - he hates young children, is very trigger-tempered and on a short fuse. Anyway, enoug of my stuff - what i want to say is that at no time have any of the teachers made me feel like my eldest was any different from any of the other little boys (and there does seem to be a difference between the ways boys and girls react to learning and school IM EXperience)
I reckon Aniles is right, and it's too early to worry (eaiser said than done, I know) If only I took me own advice cos I'm worried too!
There will be other kids 'worse' than yours and most teachers have seen it all and dealt with it. Here's to September, lots of luck and best wishes x

Hi Peachyclair

I'm replying to this with my school hat on and really just echoing what Aniles has said! I'm a reception teacher and the sort of things your're worrying about are really common in lots of children at the beginning of the school year. I'm sure your ds's teacher will have lots of strategies to encourage him to dress himself (and it's amazing what happens when children see that all the others are doing it themselves!). As for having to sit still, at the beginning of the year, we really only sit still for a few minutes at a time anyway, and then gradually build it up.

Please don't worry about him not writing his name - he will have plenty of time for that at school as well as lots and lots and lots of time for playing, exploring, socialising, investigating etc and hopefully, lots of time outdoors.

If as you have said, you feel that any of his behaviour is due to his reaction to your DS1, then it would be worth mentioning it to his classteacher just so she is aware.

There are lots of things you can start to do to help his independence, things like encouraging him to remember his drink every day, or reading wallet or something like that. You could put a picture of it on the back of the front door to act as a reminder. Do you use visual timtables with your DS1? Perhaps as the year progreses, you could use these with DS2 as well - then they would have something in common. I love visual timetables and use them with all the children in my class, not just those with SN.

I'm sure that once he starts school, you will feel so much better! I know I always feel anxious before each term starts and I'm the blooming teacher!!!!