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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

DD 1 year old rubbing/humping activity!

50 replies

spooniemoonie · 10/05/2010 09:33

Those with a sensitive disposition please look away now!

When my DD was about 10 months old she began to rub her groin against the crotch strap of her highchair at meal times. Since then she has started doing this in her buggy and carseat at any opportunity. She gets pretty worked up - huffing and puffing, zoning out, eyes rolling etc. I've tried her in different buggies and different high chairs but the result is the same and she is too young to be restrained without the crotch strap.

I guess she is doing this cos it is somehow a nice sensation and she finds it comforting (I'm pretty sure this started cos she absolutely hated meal times - very poor eater) but it is getting more and more frequent in her pram now. It's very obvious and embarassing for me and (presumably) whomever I'm with when we're out and about.

I took her to the GP to rule out any physical reason for her doing this (thrush etc) and got the all clear. The GP says it's just a phase and she'll grow out of it but also said she had never seen it in a child this young - usually 2-3 year olds. The GP said we should just ignore it and try to distract her. This is getting harder and harder to do and it is really interfering with her dismal eating - she much prefers to hump than eat a meal.

What I'm looking for is here is:
a) some re-assurance that we're not the only parents coping with this behaviour in a child this age (13 months now).
b) some coping mechanisms, distraction techniques that have worked for you/your child?

I'd appreciate any insight on offer.
Many thanks

OP posts:

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Original poster

spooniemoonie · 10/05/2010 09:39

Sorry, should have added that DD is a happy camper in general and doesn't show any other odd behaviours.

OP posts:

caen · 10/05/2010 11:15

My DD doesn't do this but friend's child started rubbing against her teddy before she was one. I think it's very normal so don't worry on that score. There just seems to be less acceptance of it with girls than boys unfortunately. Could you put a blanket between her crotch and straps in the buggy?

Original poster

spooniemoonie · 10/05/2010 11:50

Thanks Caen. Have tried to pad out the straps but no luck :-(

OP posts:

beesonmummyshead · 10/05/2010 17:35

my dd does this, but whilst lying down, humps her blanket

It is shameful isn't it? TBH I can't remember when she started, but at 2.8 I know tell her that it's not nice for people to watch her doing it, and could she please do it upstairs in her bed.

She often takes herself upstairs "I want to take my trousers off and go to bed with my blankie please"

It is important (i am told) not to make too much of a big deal about it, otherwise they can have issues later in life, with the idea that they are dirty or it is wrong.

T?hinking aloud, can you get different straps? or adapt reins to fit the pushchair, thus avoiding the bit between her legs, at least whilst you're out in public

God knows when/if they grow out of it, I'm hoping soon. FWIW dd is more interested in her blanket these days when she is bored/tired. So action packed days significantly reduce the episodes

Original poster

spooniemoonie · 10/05/2010 21:39

Thanks bees. I know it's important not to make her feel bad so DP and I are just trying to ignore it and we never shout at her or anything (as much as I'd like to sometimes). It's so hard when we're out and people start to stare at DD writhing about in her buggy - I want the ground to open up and swallow us sometimes

It is definitely a crotch strap issue at the moment - no rubbing on toys or blankets ... yet. I actually took the strap off her tripp trapp this morning to see if this would solve the problem and DD got v angry about it indeed! Alas it was very unsafe without the strap so I had to put it back on. Have tried using a shoulder harness instead but still too dangerous since she is a houdini as well as a humper .

You're right about the bored/tired thing - I'm sure she originally did this in her highchair cos she was bored and didn't want to eat, discovered it felt nice and now its become a habit. She is pretty hard to distract once she gets into it, so the key is trying to distract her all through the meal or journey to stop her starting in the first place.

I am very much looking forward to the time when she is old enough to understand concepts of what is acceptable in public vs. private.

OP posts:

Aitch · 10/05/2010 22:18

is this you? have you changed names?

Aitch · 10/05/2010 22:26

sorry, post in wrong place.

it was on one of those robert winston shows, the fact that babies masturbate. many babies use their cuddly toys and sleep with them between their legs, no big deal. in a way, i think it's nice that they have that pleasure available to them, iykwim?

incandescent · 10/05/2010 22:27

No.

LynetteScavo · 10/05/2010 22:28

A lot of the same topic on different threads tonight!

Aitch · 10/05/2010 22:29

really? more than two? total coincidence though. say sorry to the nice ladies, incandescent... (she'll KILL me for saying that).

notapizzaeater · 10/05/2010 22:33

My Ds started doing this to his elephants when he was about 1, he's now 7 and still does it - though luckily for us we "trained" him so that he can only do it in private as its a private thing .....

Was horrid when we all shared a room on hols about 3 years ago, so much so the folowing year OH insisted we paid for a family room so he wasn;t in the room with us Was embarassing for us listening to our 4 yr huffing and puffing - never realised we all make that much noise

No advice for you, just reasurrance you're not alone .....

Original poster

spooniemoonie · 11/05/2010 22:14

bump

OP posts:

marriednotdead · 11/05/2010 22:25

Distraction distraction distraction! And as little time in crotch strapped devices as possible.
My ds used to 'wiggle' face down on the floor from around ages 2- 7. DD is 10 years older and was both horrified and disgusted. You are not alone...

pissyknickers · 11/05/2010 22:45

My DD started at about the same time as yours, i was a bit embarassed as it seemed so young. She lies on her pillow or stuffed animal on the carpet in the middle of the living room or on the sofa and rubs herself on them. She also does it in bed to comfort herself to sleep, it obviously feels nice. She's 15mths now and still does it, has a very strong attachment to her pillow and the stuffed animal which seems to be getting stronger by the minute, she wants to take them everywhere shes goes, i use distraction to get out of the house without them.

So similar problem, but different means, hoping she'll grow out of it. I don't ever mention it or make a fuss about it, she doesn't tend to do it in front of other people i guess because she's distracted. The people i've mentioned it to seemed very shocked so you feel a bit odd about it, but maybe more because people don't talk about it. You're not alone!

CoupleofKooks · 11/05/2010 22:49

could you feed her somewhere completely different?

i know it feels like this will go on forever, but phases do pass, often quickly when you look back at them
easier said than done but try not to feel too embarrassed and fret about it

Original poster

spooniemoonie · 12/05/2010 21:02

thanks everyone, I just wish it wasn't something that she likes to do in her pram - I wouldn't mind so much if she restricted her humping to in the house! let's hope she grows out of this before someone makes a mean comment or I die of embarassment.

OP posts:

beesonmummyshead · 12/05/2010 21:54

could you carry her? Get a sling? just for a couple of months until you can restrain her in her pram without the middle strap?

I cringe when dd used to rub her blankie in front of my family (now its a standing joke) but out in public might make me a recluse

hope its a short lived phase for you.

jenny77 · 21/05/2010 21:30

My daughter has been carpet surfing on and off from about 8 months, which i think started as she was scratching nappy rash and found this felt nice. As predicted by my Mum (though apparently I never did it) she stopped when she started walking at 14 mths but has recently started again full force, aged 25 months which i assume is linked to her second molars coming through. I am sure it's a comfort thing and she will prob stop again when the teeth are done.
Am totally ignoring her and trying to distract whenever it is inappropriate i.e trying to be cool about it but to be honest it's doing my head in a bit. Luckily she pretty much only does it in the house so I don't have to bother with other peoples reactions. I am a bit worried that her 5mth old sister will get the same idea though (that's all I need)
Sorry, but glad someone else is in the same boat as I mostly read about older toddlers at it too.
Hoping she stops of her own accord.
Does your buggy have the option to face you? Might distract her?

kittywise · 21/05/2010 22:07

My 6 year does this occasionally nothing to do with food though!. Sorry not much help am I?

innocence5499 · 29/05/2010 13:03

I have a one year old daughter who began to do this when she was about 8 or 9 months old.... Whenever you would hold her on your hip or with her blankie she would go to town. At first I didnt realize thats what she was doing until she began doing it to her carseat strap as well... Its awful and I hate it but I try my best to ignore it. My only fear is that she will do this as she gets older and make it a public thing as well and I dont think i would be able to handle that. Nevermind strangers making comments I have my own family and friends who cant understand it and say things as if she should be condemed at one year of age all because of it. The one thing I can say is that this is 100% normal and hopefully in time it will stop or she will understand not to do it in public. Im sorry I have no advise for you but I wanted to do my best to give you some reasurrance you're not alone...

lobsters · 29/05/2010 22:58

My 16mo DD has been doing this for a few months, on the pushchair strap for a while. More recently lying on something on the floor. A few mornings ago I heard her, then it went quiet so wondered in to find her lying on her favourite cuddly toy moving up and down. So I just went back to bed for 15 mins. She seems happy and not in pain, so I'm not worrying about it

kirstyleicester · 30/05/2010 10:25

my daughter started doing exactly the same at around 18 months, she would rock up and down in har chair with her lady bits on the edge of the chair, took us a while to realise what she was actually doing!! she is nearly six now and still occasionally 'rocks' on the chair... she has always had a tendancy to fiddle with her bits but i have explained to her its not polite to do it in front of people, but im sure she has a whale of a time when shes on her own in her room!!! sorry i am sure you want to hear that your dd will grow out of it but at the end of the day its perfectly natural and we they all do it!!

MumwithLplates · 10/07/2012 04:06

Hi Spooniemoonie, I know this thread is years out of date, but it's the only relevant one that came up when I searched (very carefully) for this topic. My 15 month old little girl is doing (and has been for months) exactly the same thing as yours - glazed eyes, huffing and puffing in her pram and highchair...I hate it so much and haven't noticed any other babies doing this EVER, so major relief to find this post. Just wondering, has it improved? Did you find a way around it? I'm a bit shy about stuff like this and while my hubby thinks it's pretty funny, I'm finding it really embarrassing!! Any advice from a 'survivor' would be appreciated hahaha!

sharoon13 · 11/12/2014 03:00

I was so so relieved to read this cos my 13 month old boy has been showing this behavior since he turned one. We are really worried about it though my mother says its normal and he'll grow out of it soon. He likes rubbing his crotch with any firm object, especially when he wants to sleep. If he finds nothing he gets on my leg and starts humping. Its quite weird but otherwise everything is normal.

Mohbika · 19/10/2017 18:18

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