what does your 8-9 year old dc do for themselves

[CHUNKYMUNKEY]

i have an 8 year old dd, and im wondering if myself and dp do to much for her, just wanted to see what other parents do in comparison as i feel my dd isn't as independant as others, i dont want to push her to grow up too quickly but don't want to mollycoddle either, its mainly things like putting on her socks/tights on her, packing her school bag/swim bag, taking her up to bed etc, any thoughts on this or is this what other parents still do for their dcs at this age?

he gets himself dressed. he gets everythign he needs for his bag and i check its all there and pack it. he gets himself into bed and i read him a story.

any help?

My 5 and 6 yr old put their own tights/socks on and pack their own school bags. i do take them up to bed though!
10 yr old does most things himself and has for a while. He makes his own sandwiches, makes his Uncle the occasional tea or coffee.
I would expect an 8 yr old to put tights/socks on and put school bits/swim stuff in a bag.

Same as Gigantaur. I also encourage my ds to make simple food for himself such as a sandwich.

DS1 is 7, nearly 8.

He packs his own school bag, gets himself dressed, takes himself to bed.

He also bathes himself, can make himself breakfast and walks to school without me (with a group of similar aged friends).

However I am aware that he is fairly independant due to the fact that he has two younger siblings.

Is your DD able to do these things? Or is it just that she doesn't want to (or you don't want her to)?

My 9 yo packs his own bag, does guitar practice mostly without being reminded and gets on with his homework when he has had a play out. Always gets dressed/has bath by himself.
I tend to pack his sports kit for school, but only because i just re-sort the dry washing straight back into kit bags without taking it upstairs. Has just been away for weekend camping with cubs - he packed all his own kit and ticked it off on the checklist as he went along. Will get himself toast (if bread is sliced for him), pittas, cereal etc.
Gets ready for bed, then i read to him.
Would be really surprised if i had to help a 8yo put on tights/socks tbh.

I don't put my 7yr old's socks on for him!

Goodness me it does sound like you mollycoddle.

DS (at 7) can do most things himself, and certainly tries. Dressing/undressing and washing are all independent.

He can get his breakfast if need be, can make sandwitches if need be, can make cups of tea, pour drinks, use the toaster independently.

He can put a wash on, sort laundry, put away clothes, hoover, dust, clean windows, tidy his room, make his bed (and mine!)

He can cycle to school on the roads, navigate through traffic, find his way home from most parts of town, operate the self-service checkouts at supermarkets

But he cannot seem to remember his bookbag and lunchbox for school without reminding, and cannot remember his hat and gloves when going to school or leaving school either grrrrrrr

That was quick, thanks for the replies, they are very interesting. i also have a 2 year old dd and i think because 8 year old sees me doing things for younger dd she feels i should be doing them for her as well, i also feel like she would think we were favouring 2 year old dd. We still bathe 8yo dd ourselves. She wont go on any sleepovers etc (not really worried by that at the mo). She loves making her own sandwiches though.

My 9 year old can

• dress herself, including tights and socks (she has down this since 5 yrs old)
• packs and carries her own school bag (I do check she has important stuff after she is in bed)
• packs her own swim bag
• she is taken to bed but mainly because her brother is only 6 and she goes up the same time as him. I expect she could put herself to bed if she wanted to but I think she likes us going up with her. Although she does clean her own teeth, baths, washes and conditions her own hair, plus brushes her hair. I do styles though.
• makes toast or breakfast cereal herself.
• makes a sponge cake, including wieghing ingredients and mixing. I do the oven bit.
• she can go on her own into a shop and buy something
• looks after her baby brother (aged 11 months) while I have a shower
• packs her own clothes for a holiday or weekend away (although I do check and then redo it a bit!)
• she is currently learning to change her own duvet cover and I am thinking about teaching her to make a cup of tea soon!

Her 6 year old brother, can also dress himself (although he is very lazy and would let you dress him if yoou tried), make his own breakfast. He isn't too good at the packing bags yet though and would not go to bed without someone going up with him - mainly because he is 'scared' of being upstairs

My 9yr old gets himself showered and dressed in a morning (inc. getting his clothes out). I check he's brushed his hair.

I do however, make up his packed lunch and if there was a swim bag to be made up, i would do that too as he is the most forgetful soul on earth and would prob forget either his towel or his trunks.

He can make a cup of tea and toast though - just not remember what to pack for school.

And i always tuck him in at night but that may be more for me....

Oh and they both tidy and hoover their bedrooms on a Saturday. They can both dust and clean windows too.

My 9yr olds can do the same as Cece above (apart from the cake - never thought about letting them get on with it...)

Plus:

Change own bedding
Load and start washing machine
Hoover
Wash up
Feed cats

hmm must be more... will think...

No mine doesn't clean (dust) or hoover - he does tidy though.

And no way would he be able to pack to go away without my input....

Oh and make tea / coffee / toast...

My 4 year old gets herself dressed every morning, tidies her room, makes her bed, helps me dust and tidy, put on and sort out washing etc

Not because i necessarily make her but because she wants to...

My 6yo, 5yo and 3yo all dress themselves (although the 3yo needs help sometimes with getting things on the right way!). They all pack their bags if we go out for the day. The two older ones can both pack a nappy bag for me and get snacks and drinks for themselves and their younger sisters; and also can help the 19m old to get dressed - can also change her nappy so long as it's just wet.

We take them up to bed but not because we have to but because that's a lovely, warm, special time we don't want to rush them growing out of!

DS:

• dresses himself (including doing his own tie!)

• washes himself in the bath, although we still supervise

• packs his own school bag

• I take him up to bed, but he does his own teeth and gets ready himself

• He pours out his own cereal and milk/orange juice for his breakfast.

Yours does sound a little mollycoddled, to be honest.

Blimey ... I am definitly mollycoddling, today i even had to put a straw in a carton of juice for her!

My 8 year old dresses himself. He does try to make himself breakfast, but its messy. I still pack his school bag and check to see if he has homework. (I don't trust him as he is very lazy about homework.) My son will sit down and do his homework on his own.

DS will watch his baby sister if I go to the loo for five minutes. He will walk to the adventure playground on his own. I still take him up to bed as I like having special time with him. We often chat about his day while he is in the bath and I read him stories.

Sometimes my ds is very grown up, but he is still my baby.

she can probably do more than you think but she has to be allowed to fumble about a bit and learn and first thing in the morning when you are in a rush to get to school is maybe not the best time to start.

She could practice making her own breakfast at the weekend, packing her schoolbag Sunday night

slowly build it up

DS1 - 8yrs

Get himself dressed

Pack bag

Run own bath

Take shower/ brush teeth/brush hair

take himself to bed but I still read him a story as we both like it.

Organise cereal for breakfast for him and DS2

Make sandwiches

Hoover, dust

Feed the fish

Can walk to school himself (5 mins, no busy roads) but I still take him and pick him up most days as we both like it.

My 8 yo ds can-

• dress self
• pack schoolbag - I've recently stopped checking as he always gets it right
• be trusted to do homework, piano practice, chores without too much nagging!
• make pizza
• chop up cucumber/tomatoes/bananas - pretty much anything not too hard, for cooking
• make a cup or tea or coffee
• cycle or walk to local Morrisons for bread/milk/football stickers (he wangled 5 packets of the free ones out of the "nice lady on the checkout" today, by persuading her that "some people might not want theirs"
• get his own breakfast and make a packed lunch if he really has to
• put o n the washing machine/take out the wheelie bin/look after the guinea pig/set and clear the table (chores shared with his sisters aged 6 and 10)
• can wash his own hair

Wow, he can do more than I thought!

Mind you, apart from going to the shops and the hot things, dd2 can do most of this as well!

Really? So all your 8 yr olds make their own breakfasts? In what way? Blimey....

As an aside i didn't make my own at 8.

They do get crockery / cutlery out etc, and can butter toast (eldest (9) can do toast as i've said) - but that all seems a bit um....

point scoring.....

How hard is it to whack some wheetabix and milk in the microwave for them

My 10 year old has been doing all of this for years, I am independent and brought my DC up to be the same from when they could walk. Sometimes I do get the question why do I have to do it myself (xxx's mum does that for her) which can give me as a working parent a moment of guilt then I pull myself together.
I agree you should start gently bit by bit maybe with rewards for becoming independent as it could be a shock to her and you have already mentioned the possibility of jealousy with the younger sibling.

ds has to make his own breakfast (I'm asleep)

PortBlack - not sure what you're saying? Mine don't make their own breakfast because I refuse to, but because they usually want it before I'm free enough to do it for them!

It's not about point scoring - the OP asked what other people's children can do for themselves so people said!

My 6 and 5yo can get themselves breakfast and drinks etc. easily and have been able to for ages. I haven't insisted they learn it - they just have! Children in large families tend to get fed up with waiting and just get on with it.