what does your 8-9 year old dc do for themselves

[CHUNKYMUNKEY]

i have an 8 year old dd, and im wondering if myself and dp do to much for her, just wanted to see what other parents do in comparison as i feel my dd isn't as independant as others, i dont want to push her to grow up too quickly but don't want to mollycoddle either, its mainly things like putting on her socks/tights on her, packing her school bag/swim bag, taking her up to bed etc, any thoughts on this or is this what other parents still do for their dcs at this age?

DS- 9

Packs his own school bag (but I do swimming and leave it out for him)

Remembers his cello practice and remembers to take it in each Mon

Makes his own breakfast and washes up dish if there's time

Dresses himself, does his hair and teeth

Can make lunch for himself

Walks to school alone

Goes to local shop to run errands/spend his pocket money (but I prefer him to go with his 11 yr old sister)

Baths or showers and washes his own hair

Does his chores, tidying, cleaning the bathroom (except the loo)

Changes bedding but often cheats and gets his sister to do the duvet cover!

Grooms the cats and will, if forced pick out a poo from the litter tray using a nappy sack and chuck it in the wheelie bin.

He's starting to make hot drinks but prefers to get his brother or sister to make him one.

PortBlacksandVoter
Of course it's usually his Dad or I making breakfast but on weekends I lie in, being pregnant and my Dh is at work very early so the kids tend to fix their own breakfasts, plus, News flash some kids ENJOY being independant!!! It doesn't actually take my kids 2 seconds to put some milk on some wheetabix either, thouh EEEUWWW who'd microwave it?????????

My 9 YO
Takes himself to school and comes home by himself (5 min walk)
Goes to the shop with his pocket money and buys things (only when he goes with others of similar age)
Packs his school bag
Bathes himself
Dresses himself for school
Goes to bed by himself
Can make a mean Risotto
Make a cup of tea
Makes his own breakfast every morning
Strips his bed and keeps his room somewhat tidy

boy I wish my dd would keep her room tidy

that'll be the day.

My DCs like their Wheetabix & Milk warm...

I already said i was a MollyCoddler okay?

My 7 year old can make his own breakfast, but it doesn't mean that he does it every day!

Sometimes at weekends his younger brother and sister are up before he is, so we will have breakfast together, and then he will make himself something when he gets up.

Chunkymunkey you say that you feel you should do these things for your 8yr old because you are doing them for your younger child? I have found that it works the other way around in our house. Because I have always praised my eldest for his independance (when DD was born I had 3 DC under 3.5 so he grew up pretty quickly!) the other two have followed. So even DD (who is 4) dresses herself including tights, packs her own school bag (I do check it though) and tidies up etc after herself. She has just started in Reception, and her teacher was really impressed that she could dry herself after swimming and put her uniform back on!

You never know, if you encourage independance in your eldest it might rub off on your youngest too.

Like helyq I praise my DCs when they have managed to do things for themselves. My DCs dressed themselves from the age of 4; although I think my DC2 was even 3 when he was dressing himself because he wanted to copy his older brother.

From the age of 4 they were told to tidy up their toys. They now understand the concept of if you make a mess (take out lots of toys) then you need to tidy it up (put away the toys).

I can't believe that at the age of 8 you're still putting your DCs socks/tights on! Tell her to do it herself!

I don't, however, think it is odd putting a child to bed at age 8 if you're going to read them a story, or you use it for a special 1-2-1 time with your child.

Dd2 gets herself ready in the morning makesbreakfast etc gets bags ready ,can make her bed put washing away ( usually can't be bothered though!) can make lunch for herself & us ( if we like her food!)

dd1(10) can make a pasta meal ( but not drain pans) and use the oven

both can use washing machine/dryer/dishwasher

My ds is 9, and I listed some of his 'independences" earlier on the thread. But just because he can doesn't mean he always hasto^!

I still put him to bed every night, and I will until he asks me to stop. Sometimes he has a story, sometimes he reads - his choice. I still occasionally help my 14 year old get ready for bed (!) - and once in a while she has a story too!

They can make their own breakfasts, but usually I do because I like to and they like me to.

Helping them to learn how to do stuff isn't so that you don't have to do it or so that they have to do it. It's about the gradual arming them for the adult world - it's a process not a target. IYSWIM.

My 9yo has times when he does things independently and times when he is prevented by disability.

When he is well he:

dresses himself

packs his school bag

takes responsibility for homework

makes himself toast

makes himself hot drinks (and has been known to bring me coffee in bed)

makes his own way to school
occasionally cooks a basic meal

makes his own way to local shops to spend his pocket money

plays on his own or rides his bike unsupervised in the cul-de-sac round the corner

When he is not well, he may need help with the most basic tasks, has to use a wheelchair to get to school, and can certainly not be trusted with hot drinks (hot drinks+crutches= bad combo).

But like seeker, I also do things for him, because I like to. But then I've even been known to make dh a hot drink too

As for keeping things tidy, we're none of us very good at that

Well ... i spoke to dd1 this morning about becoming more independant, i wrote down a list of tasks that i wanted her to do herself today, nothing unreasonable but i thought i would start her of gradually as a few posters suggested,

She had a bit of a moan at first, however she put on her own socks ,

She moaned she couldnt zip up her fleece but i told her i wasnt doing it and she did it eventually herself,

Made her bed,

Cleaned her shoes and dd2,

Generally helped dd2 with things in the morning,

After school she sorted out her own snacks,

Set the table,

Helped tidy up along with dd2 and packed her school bag,

I read a book to her on the sofa as dp working and then she got washed/ready for bed and then went on her own, no bother, those few little things have made such a difference and she has loved the responsibility, she even offered to hoover for me, Brilliant!

Wow that is great progress. Well done to you and her.

Like the chat about kids getting there own breakfast whilst parents sleep. DD2 has always been an early riser and used to wake us up at around 6 every day to ask if she could go downstairs/play/eat/watch TV. We soon taught her how to put cereal in a bowl and add milk as no-one else wanted to be up. Before you ask we have tried everything to get her to sleep longer but she just doesn't, except on Monday mornings! Now she is older she just gets up and does things in her room until everyone else wakes up. If she is hungry she will go down and get breakfast.

CHUNKYMUNKEY Well Done with your list and congratulations to your daughter for taking up the challenge. Really impressed with shoe cleaning.

I did have to go over her shoes again as she missed bits but i was thrilled with what she done,

I am also getting dd2 aged 2.6 in on the act and she matched up socks for me today when we were putting washing away and she helped me load the washine machine

I wrote down what dd1 needed to check to put in her school bag but hoping after she's done it a few times it will become second nature.

I will go back over the messages posted and see over the weekend what else she can do, i am going to make her pocket money chores related and i am also going to give her a little treat to say well done,

Im really glad i posted this message as i would have carried on, her teacher at school has mentioned that dd asks for help too quickly sometimes and doesn't give herself a chance so hoping this will improve her confidence as well

Brilliant Chunky! Sounds as if you need a big pat on the back too. I find the more things a child can do, the more their self confidence improves.

My little boy achieved doing up his fiddly shirt buttons, it took him a while but I didn't get impatient as I knew he really wanted to do it himself. He also loves to do up his own seatbelt and helps his little friends do theirs if they come back in my car for a play after preschool.

Little children love to show off what they can do! The key is to allow them time which is not easy to do if you're in a rush!