worried mum!..................sorry quite long

[loujay]

Hi,
My DD is 2 in august and I've had a tthing through the post telling me what she should be doing by now and I'm a bit concerned.
These are the things it says she should be doing by now -

• walking up and down stairs holding on to the rail - she just climbs up and has no intention of going down
• sit on a tricycle and push with feet - she just sits on it and wants to be pushed
• climbing on and off furniture - only her sized furniture
• saying 50 to 100 words - only says about 5 and some of them are only what me and her dad can understand
• asking things
• singing!!
• drink from a cup without spillinguse a spoon most of the time although gets in a bit of a mess - sometimes she can use a spoon but not often and only with breakfast She does understand all that we say to her and my DP says I am worrying myself unneccesarily but she had a friend to play yesterday afternoon and the difference between them was apparent. Is there anything that I am not doing?? Sorry this has been a bit of a long post but I'm getting a bit scared that I am not doing the right thing by my DD and that is why she is not at the same level as her friends

bump.........anyone??

Loujay, Don't beat yourself up hun. I hate these leaflets, I see so many mums terrified that their children are not "at the right level", and that there is some kind of problem with them because they don't meet government criteria.

Children will develop at their own pace, regardless of professional opinions. Relax and enjoy your daughter, she's at such a fun age.

If you have serious worries simply contct your GP or health Visitor and talk to them. Hopefully they can put your mind at ease, or give suggestions that will help.

Things I would do in your situation?

1. Swimming - so good for co ordination, muscle strength, sensory experience, brain formation, confidence and FUN!!

2. Try not to pre-empt wants and words - this could encourage clearer speech and increase vocab.

3. Have you looked at baby signing? It is an easy effective way to improve communication, and encourages speech ( will try to find a link)

4. Lots of rough and tumble, swinging, parks, ball skills, soft play etc - lets her practise gross muscle control, and aides development of brain

5. Get involved in a toddler music/gym class - great fun to be with peers and practise babble.

I'm sure you are doing all the rights things by your daughter, you obviously love her and care about her so very much, otherwise you wouldn't be here asking for advice!! Good luck, and let us know how it goes. xx

Chil;dren do develope at different speeds, and the list is a guideline.
But if you are concerned, get your HV to come to your house and see your daughter in her own surroundings, much easier!
It is also worth baring n mind that she may suddenly start to do things in the next few weeks or months. They do progress suddenly at times.

does she point? If so woudn't worry!

BTW- what you do doesn't make much difference re developmental milestones. So don't beat yourself up about that!

I'm not really best placed to advise much but hate to see you hanging with no replies....

The fact that she understands what you say to her I would say is pretty important. Re the speaking - all children develop at different rates. I know a little boy who couldn't say a word until he was three, and my cousin didn't speak at all until she was 4 - both are normal.

dd1 was a bit like that with the physical development - she didn't roll over until she was over a year, she never crawled or bottom shuffled, didn't walk until she was 14 months. Can't remember much about the feeding or tricycle thing but I doubt she was doing what they're suggesting at two.

She is now 8 and is a very "cerebral" little person - very academic, very unsure physically and struggles with a lot of things that other children find easy (riding a bike, skipping, catching a ball). It's just the kind of person she is

I think it's natural to worry - you care deeply about her after all! - but to my mind there's nothing to worry about just yet.

I'm sure others will have advice for you soon

Forgot to mention the pointing, it was in my mind when I started typing!

Thanks guys, I will ring the HV tomorrow and ask if they can come and visit. Truthfully I didnt think I ws that worried about it until the piece of paper turned up this week. I was thinking that she would just develop at her own rate, but when they list everything like that it just started the worry off!!
She is pointing and does say me alot when she wants something.
I will try and calm down and see what the HV says.
Thanks to all of you

HV may not understand the relevance of pointing, but if she's doing that then you don't have to worry about speech for a good while longer.

when my Daughters had their 2 year assessment the HV asked if they had a vocab of ten words. Aparently it used to be 20 but they had to refer that many children, they changed it to 10

firstly can I say...STOP worrying!!!
Now can I ask is she an only child? Not being patronising or anything ,but it really does make a difference.
My DS didnt speak at 2, I knew he understood me and could hear ok. now just turned 2.5 he speaks in very full sentences, not always clear but his vocab is huge! Now his slow start maybe because he is no 4 and never needed to talk and his huge vocab could be because he is no4 and picks it up from others!
He has plder siblings to watch and copy so he could climb stairs from being quite young as he wanted to see what they were up to. Had he been my first i would have had a stair gate and followed him around!!
Sorry this is really long. Wont go through other points!!!! but just repeat dont worry!!!!

I think it's good you've asked the hv to call round if you feel worried - not that I think you should! Talking about any issues should make you relax a bit more. Bear in mind some hvs can make issues out of nothing - with dd2 I had one who kept sending me to dr about her weight and doc kept saying she's fine but small, was born early and why does hv keep referring her...

Cliche but all babies do things in their own time. They should word their letters a bit more thoughtfully.

And we're back to instead of worrying pople unecessarily and not picking up those who need to be picked up why the f* don't they introduce the CHAT test. agghghghghghg

Wanders off muttering about 50 words and not asking about f pointing! Agh makes me so CROSS (can you tell?)

As for singing- my severely autistic son could sing perfectly in tune from 15 months. God come the revolution, someone might forget speech in 2 year olds and start asking about non-verbal communication. HV bah!