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Behaviour/development

Talk to others about child development and behaviour stages here. You can find more information on our development calendar.

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Original poster

How to stop a toddler legging it?

21 replies

jane313 · 16/07/2005 20:44

My son was 2 last month and he has a habit of running off with no thought as to where I am. Hes ok if we are walking in the street holding my hand but if I let him go in parks etc he will sometimes just escape. Sometimes he thinks its a chasing game; other times hes just interested by something new and just runs off to investigate.

Was given reins a while ago and he just spins around on them. I bought one of those leads the other day more as a sort of deterrent as he hates it. Haven't had a chance to give it a proper try yet. I looked in that toddler taming book (given to me with the reins!) and he just said he didn't have much success with absconders.

Anyone managed to reform an escapee? I am trying the positive praise stuff. Someone suggested actually lettng him get lost so he will experience being scared but not quite sure how to stage mangage that.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

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fishfinger · 16/07/2005 20:44

no its 2 year olds

colditz · 16/07/2005 20:48

In a supermarket, gang of friends at the doors. Let him get lost for at least a minute.

Micku5 · 16/07/2005 20:48

My dd does the same to me especially in the middle of a shop. Yesterday i tied her reins thur the loop of my jeans and she didn't get very far. She cried and fussed but after I told her that a another girl was laughing at her she stopped. She then wanted me to carry her....

Original poster

jane313 · 16/07/2005 20:50

HeHes been doing it for a while now! My freinds have much more passive children,I just spend my time running after him, (Have lost half a atone since march!) The funniest time was when 2 lots of friends told me how much their todders had loved this model village. So I went there and he escaped from the playground (I actually did lose him for the first time ever and got almost hysterical) and I found he had jumped the barrier and was playing with all the models. Both groups of friends looks astonished when I told them as their children only wanted to admire the models from a distance!

OP posts:

Micku5 · 16/07/2005 20:52

lol.... I think my dd would be in there with yours trying to climb over it, under it and playing her favourite game 'I'm hiding'

Original poster

jane313 · 16/07/2005 21:23

I worry what I would do if I had another baby, I suppose he may have developed some sense by then or I could get a sling I could bf in and jog or I could adapt one of those extendable dog leads. I looked at all the baby/child books I was and bloomin' Miriam Stoppard say toddler never go more than 200 yards away, hah!

I will think about trying the supermaket thing but I lost him for at least 4 mins before; but he was having a whale of a time.

OP posts:

Martini · 17/07/2005 00:51

My DS was like this when he was 2. It was awful particularly as I'd had another baby so couldn't really run around much after him.

I spent about 8 mnths either strapping him buggy, gripping him by arm or chasing after him as he ran towards dangers. Wrist strap was useless - he either ripped it off or rolled on ground screaming.

But do not despair - he has just grew out of it now & my level of distance control is like One Man & his Dog.

eldestgirl · 17/07/2005 01:21

We had a wrist strap which I fixed to the pushchair (which had ds2 in it). DS1 hated it but he got the message eventually. Just kept repeating: hold on to the pushchair or you have to wear this. It took a while, but when it concern safety, it's worth the dragging feet and protesting.

Skribble · 17/07/2005 01:25

Use the lead and give him short spells off it if he behaves. Give clear visual boundries of how far he can go in the park and put him back on if he strays to far. Be consistant and tough on this one, don't let it be a game at any time until he has figured out how far is to far.

Sorry this sounds like puppy traing but I suppose it is very similar. Its one of those things like cars seats that has to be put to toddler as compulsory not optional. Once you have pram or other child it can get very risky if he'd prone to dash of so be hard on this one. .

KiwiKate · 17/07/2005 08:45

Well put skribble. Just what I was going to say.

Also, he might think it is a game as he's had you running after him up to now. He won't stop until you make him.

Fran1 · 17/07/2005 09:06

Hi i have an escapee too. she is now 2.5 but has done it ever since she could walk.

she thinks its a game of chase, she had no fear of getting lost despite me having lost her on occasions and got histerical, she does not realise.

My rules are that if she doesn't walk sensibly with me she gets strapped into buggy or trolley. (and this i stick to by physically holding her down whilst kicking or screaming to strap her in.

It does work because i then tell her if she calms down and is a good girl she can walk again and thereafter does not run around-until the next shopping trip.
I find now she only does it if tired or really bored.
Yesterday i lost her, only to find her in the window display of the shop .

hercules · 17/07/2005 14:35

If I put mine down she legs it too. I've followed her without her realising before and she doesnt look back or stop!

Original poster

jane313 · 17/07/2005 16:21

Fran1 my brother did that too. He ran through the window display, all the clothes were on the models waiting to be put on and he knocked them all over.

it it a bit like dog training. My old dog was like that but we never cured him of running away! Even with dog treats!

OP posts:

KiwiKate · 18/07/2005 10:42

Where I grew up (not New Zealand where I am now) no kids ever did a runner. It was not a safe place and letting them out of sight for just a few seconds could lead to a kidnap or worse. I guess parents made sure that kids were strapped in if they had an inclination to run (having said that, the threat of being strapped in -which was serious and would be followed through - made sure the kids did not go off). It was just not an option for kids to run off, even briefly.

expatinscotland · 18/07/2005 10:51

DD's on a wrist harness if she's out of her buggy. Full stop. If she doesn't like it, too bad. She tantrums and we pay absolutely no mind to it at all.

NotQuiteCockney · 18/07/2005 10:55

I never ever ever chased DS1. Because that makes it fun. I used my best commanding voice, and got him to stop and come back. It was harrowing and took great willpower, but it did work.

And as others have said, the rules were "behave well, or you're strapped in the buggy".

Of course, he might have just been less of an escape risk than other people's kids. I'd probably use a harness with one of those, or even with a reasonable-ish two-year-old, if I had my second kid with less spacing.

Skribble · 18/07/2005 17:41

Another nanny thing is to say it like you mean it and mean what you say. You hear mums calling half heartedly and wondering why darling sprog doesn't take blind bit of notice.

DH hates my nanny voice and winces when I shout in the house. Out in public he really cringes but it works for me and I find i don't have to be constantly shouting. DH seems to think disiplining is something to do in privicy of own home.

Original poster

jane313 · 20/07/2005 18:27

thanks for the tips I will perserve with the wrist strap. I try not to chase him but there always seems to be open water when we go for walks

OP posts:

Slink · 20/07/2005 18:32

My dd used to do that so dh and i hide we could still see her, watched her look around cry(horrid i know) but she never did it again she is 4 now, good as gold...

Original poster

jane313 · 20/07/2005 18:34

We tried to do that on sunday but he just just walked on then we lost sight of him. We eill have to think of a better place to do it!

OP posts:

Nixz · 20/07/2005 18:47

Jane313 - my ds is 4 1/2 and still does it. The town where i live all know her before i know the people. I once found her in a card shop naked trying to dress up in a feather bower. She has caused crashes on a road where she escaped from a toddler group by somehow escaping out 24 inch steel door (kiddin) - my nerves are shattered! And she still hasnt stopped. It happens everytime we step out of the bedroom door in the morning. She is starting school in september and they are all really worried!!! Imagine how that makes me feel! She really doesnt think she 'needs' grown ups in life and has no fear at all. Some kids are just born dare devils, not a good thing to be in this day!

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