nervous anxious 5 yead old

[hatstand]

I have just got back from DD2's sports day and found it quite upsetting and that it confirmed for me some of my worries about dd. She really doesn;t seem able to cope with a lot of social events. She spent the whole hour or so standing around, shuffling about, looking anxious and biting her nails. I could have wept for her - she clearly wasn't enjoying herself, didn;t chat to the other children - she joined in because it was what was expected but the whole event was clearly a source of stress, not something to be enjoyed . We have noticed that when we drop her off at school she generally doesn't want to run around a play, like the others. Her school work is good and she is generally helpful and good and mature for her age. but seeing her today made me really sad. How can I help her relax and enjoy life more?

Growing up to a 5 year old. Was she slways attending playgroups, and various other things with other children. Did she interact very much with other children. Or was she manly with an adult. Was she clingly. etc

My dd is 5 and she too is very shy.....she hates to be the centre of attention and becomes very anxious if everyone looks at her.

She was so outgoing and loud when she was a toddler I am not sure if its her age or it has something to do with the fact that she had meningitis when she was 3 and ever since then has become very withdrawn and self conscious.

Girls more than boys seem to have worries at school...at home she's totally different!!!!

when I picked her up from school I asked her if she had enjoyed sports days and she said yes - in a totally convincing way. although she did also say that one of the girls on her team was being rude and telling her she was the slowest. She's a happy and confident thing at home and with our friends and their children, but striking out on her own at school is obviously quite difficult for her. She went to lots of play groups, singing, gym etc pre-school - and she's been at the school for two years now - having gone to the school's nursery. I just felt so sad for her today. Her body language said so much

Could u try 2 encourage more friendship between ur dd & other girls at school on a 1-to-1 basis? After school playdates, days out (zoo, afternoon in park w/ ice cream,zoo, whatever) where u treat (pay 4 all costs, & transport) 1 of her friends?

Hatstand you could be talking about my dd. She is 7 and is never happy in a crowd of people. She was very outgoing as a toddler, spoke to everyone type of person. She only took part in one race at Sports Day and preferred to help the teacher hand out drinks bottles instead. Sorry I have no magic solution, just wanted to let you know I know how you feel.

My DD (6) struggles with this sort of thing, despite going to playgroup, playing with friends etc she has always found things like this hard. She was really slow getting ready on the morning of her sports day last week and I'm ashamed to say I lost it with her. It was only then that she said how much she was dreading it as someone had been teasing her during the practice. Luckily the actual thing went fairly well in the end. She is much much better with all this stuff than she was a year ago. The things that have helped with her I think are making sure she has a couple of children to play after school regularly and the other thing is she has started drama. One of my friend's daughters is 14 and has been doing it for years. DD saw a video of one of the plays she was in and immediatley said she wanted to do it to my complete amazement. There is a class locally for 5 and 6 year olds and she's been going for a term now and completely loves it and it is definitely helping her confidence socially.

But what exactly helps their confidence, trefusis? My 3yo dd is pretty similar, and for that matter, so was I as a child. DD just plain freaks out in busy, nosy group situations, unless she has one of her favourite people to keep her company & help her ignore everyone else who is there. For instance, DS1 had a disco last week. DD insisted on staying. She wanted me to hold her hand and take her into the middle of the room to dance, but I couldn't because I had ds2 (1yo) to look after. DD just cried & cried, wouldn't leave the disco, but wouldn't join in without me, either.

Tried taking her to dance classes & that was similar nightmare.

hatstand, does your dd like sports? Could it be that she felt intimidated because it was sports day and she was expected to "perform"?

c

sorry about the strange format, am typing while eating.