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Original poster

Being hit with a belt.

97 replies

Ealingkate · 05/02/2010 18:24

Not really sure what to do about this - DD2 had a lovely friend (aged 5) to play for the first time the other day. At the dinner table DD1 was relaying how the friend said she gets hit with a belt if she's naughty and the friend confirmed it, but not in a "please don't say anything to my mum" she was just quite casual about it.
The mum came to pick her up and she seems lovely, really sweet. I do believe the little girl as it seems a strange thing to say otherwise.
It does seem like a pretty big deal to me, I mean how naughty can a 5 year old girl be??
I was thinking of having a quiet word with the reception class teacher, but, I don't want to be too heavy handed. Any suggestions??

OP posts:
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smallorange · 05/02/2010 19:56

Cyb - I think the reason is that many of us feel we would speak to the mother first have children who do say silly things or cannot explain themselves properly etc

I have social worker friends whose dd's delight in yanking down their father's pj bottoms and shouting 'daddy's got a willy,' over and over again. Repeated, this sort of stuff can sound suspect. But there is an innocent explanation.

But like I say, it's difficult.

Cyb · 05/02/2010 19:56

At last some sensible folk

Cyb · 05/02/2010 19:58

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smallorange · 05/02/2010 19:59

And op

if it was me, i would speak to the teacher.

smallorange · 05/02/2010 20:00

Where is op by the way

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:01

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OtterInaSkoda · 05/02/2010 20:01

CharlieBoo - if my ds had, at age 5 (or even now for that matter) told anyone that we'd been whacking him with a belt and they'd told the school - I would be happy that someone had bothered to do something.

Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:02

Cyb what are you talking about... at last some sensible posters?
not every child is being abused in some way, but many many children, particularly at this age come out with a lot of fantasy and their version of reality....
If there was any other evidence than I would be agreeing with you wholeheartedly.. after all I've been there.
but one, off hand comment with no other evidence at a stranger home is very very unlikely.

Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:04

That's why I'm being the voice of reason Pixie...
all of you jumping in saying, yy report it to the teacher, lets get SS involved...
you haven't a clue either...
Having been in this position (have you?)
there is no way on earth I'd jump in without pretty good idea or evidence.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 05/02/2010 20:06

Why on earth would a 5yo invent being hit by a belt? What would make them put the two things together? Istill remember being shit scared by the threat, but until the threat was made one thing was to keep your trousers up, the other was if you were naughty. Again, why would a 5yo put them together?

Cyb · 05/02/2010 20:08

Ingles what harm can telling the school do?

If its false, no further action would need to be taken.

If its true, the wheels could be put in motion to investigate.

I know not telling could do a lot more harm if it is true.

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:08

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Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:09

god the could be many millions of reason Perardua
When ds2 was little he told all and sundry we'd committed all sort of terrible crimes, none of which were true.
Why don't you befriend this woman and the dd then you will get a better idea?

Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:10

Because you only have to look on here Cyb to see the harm that telling the teacher, and therefore telling SS can do.
I stand by befriending and getting a better idea.

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:11

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Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:13

oh and when I was small, there was no way I could be described as a lovely talkative friend and her lovely mum.
I was nervous, anxious, touchy, shy, furtive.... yes furtive because you know instinctively it's wrong

Cyb · 05/02/2010 20:13

Teachers don't tell SS.

SS are only involved in the most serious serious cases of abuse and neglect.

Befriending the mum might be good if you are Columbo and have a mystery to solve. This is not like that. It needs to be passed on.

PerArduaAdNauseum · 05/02/2010 20:14

There could be millions of reasons ingles - I've been in a queue for security at the airport and have DS decide that that's the right moment for going on a sit-down strike and shouting help (3yo at the time). But belts and hitting isn't obvious, is it?

Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:14

x posts...
well you see in my experience pixie, it's not about clothing, or obvious stutter much more subtle than that...
still, I don't believe they'd be casually discussing it...

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:14

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Cyb · 05/02/2010 20:15

Well I hope no child ever discloses anything to you then Ingles.

Ingles2 · 05/02/2010 20:15

ok...ok...
pass it on...
fingers crossed it's a reality (not), because you won't be feeling so great, when and she will the mum finds out you report some casual thing her dd said...

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:15

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Cyb · 05/02/2010 20:16

its not about what the OP feels. its about doing the right thing. And the mother would not know who had reported it if the school handled it right

PixieOnaLeaf · 05/02/2010 20:17

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