Why, why, why ?

[Kaz33]

Just out with a friend and our three year olds. She said that she was fed up with her sons constant questions and had told him that he needed to start thinking for himself and asking less questions.

I thought that was very sad - I try and answer as many of DS1's questions as I can handle. What are your thoughts ??

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that is a shame... that is how kids learn!

if she doesn't like answering them all straight out, then she could try other techniques ie, when he asks
"why is the sky blue" she says
"why do YOU think the sky is blue"...
helps them start thinking things out themselves!

Blimey - what a meanie! I agree that's really sad - surely answering questions is just part of the territory.

I know I really wanted to say something but felt that she might thought I was being pompous. But thats a good idea

Thats a shame.

She could have just been having an off day. My mum used to 'tune us out' when she'd had enough, it was like trying to have a conversation with a coma victim. we soon got bored, and she got some peace and quiet.

Aye, but it does become hard work and Kaz in another couple of years every single thing you ask/tell them will be answered with Why?

They do need to learn to think for themseleves too. As always balance is all important.

She is 8 months pregnant

You can answer in a way that encourages to think for themselves - or sometimes if they are just asking for the sake of it without interest in the answer you can just say "I think you know that really". But my Ds2 has special needs and doesn't ask many questions and I long for him to ask more things so I think she should enjoy the fact that she has a normally developing child and encourage them to question and think for themselves as much as possible.

Saker - I feel the same as you.

sometimes you can just get P8ssed off tho' and it is allowed

I think being 8 months pregnant probably says it all. She's just tired and irritable methinks.

Sometimes I think it's not so straightforward.

DD is 4, and she constantly asks questions. I am happy to answer because obviously it's how a child learns about the world. But, it does get wearing when she asks the same question over and over - and either hasn't listened to my answer, or isn't stopping to think about what I've explained to her. Sometimes I will say, "I think you know the answer to that. Think about what I told you when you asked that question before". Sometimes after answering the same thing several times, it's clear that repeated questioning is not about being curious, but is a 4 year old attempt to engage me/get my attention when I am focused on something other than her!

Ha ha. About 5 seconds before clicking on this link I had the following conversation with my 4 yr old dd:

"mummy is it time to go on holiday yet?"
"no, not for a few hours yet - it's still REALLY early"
"but are we going on holiday really early?"
"no, not til later"
"oh, is it time for breakfast yet?"
"no it's too early even for breakfast still"
"but we're going on holiday early, aren't we?"
"no"
"but are we going soon?"
"go away"

She's obviously excited about going on holiday, but at half past six there's only so long I can humour her for!

I know it can get really wearing. In fact Ds2 says the same things over and over again for attention and sometimes I want to scream so I do sympathise. I don't blame your friend for getting fed up with it especially when 8 months pregnant. So sorry if I sounded judgemental - it's always easy to criticise someone else's way .

My DD, nearly 3, is a why, why, why-er. My personal all time favourite so far is, in front of a whole bus queue of people:

Me: Mind out for that man, sweetie [p*ssed man stumbles past]

Her: Why?

Me: Um, because he's a bit wobbly.

Her: Why?

Me: Um... very tired, i expect.

Her: Why?

Me: Where's that blimmin' bus?

I think if they dont ask yhey wont learn. I know it gets a bit teadious. the same question over and over. i just try to rephrase the answer untill he seems to get it! But they will go through this phase again at around 11 when the answer you give them isnt the one they want!!!! Will keep going in a bid to wear you down!

My 5 year old ds constantly asks me strange questions, some I haven't a clue what to say to her!!!

Like for instance.....yesterday morning
Her: Mummy what day was it the other day?
Me: Which day do you mean darling?
Her: You know the other day?
Me: Well it could be any day
Her: (gets angry by now) Mummy I mean the other day don't you know which day I mean?
Me: No I don't
Her: I will go ask Dad (comes back in)
Me: Dad says it was Sunday
Her: Is he right?
Me: Yes Mummy

But come to think of it sometimes my dp is on the same wavelength as a five year old!!!

I'm a bit mean sometimes with my ds and turn things a bit circular eg, if he asks "why do cars have engines?", I'll say "so they can go fast" - then he'll say "why do cars go fast?", and I'll say "because they have engines."

This strategy works in a variety of scenarios, I only use it if I just haven't got the time/energy to answer properly.

Sometims I just ask the kid:
"Why do you think that car goes fast?"
"I don't know".
"Do you think it might because it's green?"
"Yes, green cars go fast!"
"No, it's not because it's green!" I say.
Lead on to more interesting questions, trying to teach them to think about what I say not just ask every possible question under the sun!

ds1 is 6 and constantly talks - i always answer but am often completely switched off and only realise when he screeches, what really??? that he has asked for something ridiculous and i have said yes.

sometimes you have to do it for the sake of your sanity, or when driving for example. there was a thread similar to this a while back. someone quoted a conversation that went something like 'how do lights work mummy?' 'by magic darling'. i have used that one a few times since and ds always comes back with 'no they dont, they work like...' and fills in the answer himself, proving he does really know.

a good way to shut him up for a bit was to ask him what noise annoys an oyster? doesnt work for ever, but is good for emergencies