My friend has just said that ds's behaviour is...

[Donbean]

"testing" and "difficult".
She says that he is hard work.
Am gutted.
My worse nightmare is that other people will think him a monster or a horrible child.

i think your friend was out of order to make comments like those, especially as your ds sounds like a perfectly normal 2yo!

i'm afraid in your shoes i would probably not be able to resist the childish desire to demonstrate to her why people in glass houses shouldn't throw stones....

Yes Dahlia. What is you remedy.

Oh Donbean,posted earlier today about having to explain to my dear friend why I didn't want to take up her offer of looking after my dd next Monday,because,to cut a long story very short,I caught her dd yesterday smashing my dd over the head three times (in a two handed assault) after approaching from behind.

This is the last straw in a long list of dreadful things that she has done to my dd,ds and home and possessions,so I told her that i couldn't have my child subjected to this. Felt so bad for her as i said it (know she would have gone straight home and cried,but the litmus test for me was knowing that if my dd had behaved like this i world want to know.)

Mind you,these are 4.5 year olds. 2 is a little too early to be making such judgements imho,but maybe she was indeed trying to empathise. I know my friend is worried about her kid's behaviour and often mentions it and it is hard to know what to say. If I agree too vociferously,it will cut her to the quick!

I too wish to know the tantrum remedy.....NOW!

But seriously, Donbean - if a friend whom I liked and respected said this to me I would not mind a bit. It sounds to me as if she was trying to reassure you that he is difficult and you are doing a good job. SoupDragon has said it perfectly

Forgot to say that the child smashed dd over the head with a pretty chunky plastic spade.