My friend has just said that ds's behaviour is...

[Donbean]

"testing" and "difficult".
She says that he is hard work.
Am gutted.
My worse nightmare is that other people will think him a monster or a horrible child.

think your friend was commenting on how amazing you are dealing with it TBH ..

oo and doesn't it sound horrific when you list it out like that

Absolutely soupy, absolutely agree, normally i would be reasurred but did i add that he has only ever slept through the night a handful of times since birth and so im tired and a bit soft at the mo
He is a little beast but OMG he is my gorgeous little beast.
I dont think that i am an incompetent parent, i think i do very well actually and as a rule i REFUSE point blank to allow any one to make me feel an incompetent parent, just occassionally though........ i get secretly

Thug and beast hehehhe

and the good news, Donbean, is that THEY GROW OUT OF IT - hurrah

Yes that is good news.
Thanks every one for your replies, truly wise and reassuring as always

He has just pissed on my foot, got some tissue mopped it up the squeezed it out into the carpet........................................................ Im gonna kill................... him..........................................................................................

lol

Sounds like a star

Going back to your list, brilliant idea that you allow him time to walk on his own. However might not be quite such a good idea to avoid cafes, am thinking they will be a sudden shock to him later. Why not introduce him gradually to the idea of sitting nicely in a cafe just by taking him in for very short spell, quick cup of coffee, and give him lots of praise if he manages to contain himself for a short time?

I am sure he is totally normal.

My dd is 15 months and am beginnning to get to the stage where I don't want to take her into cafes etc as she just wants to run and play.

Last week I took her out to meet a couple of other mums whose wee ones were 7 weeks and 12 weeks and there was SUCH a difference! It was okay while dd was asleep (which I had planned!) but when she woke up I spent the rest of the time running around after her while the other mummies sat chatting with their angelic babies!!

Awwww, she used to be like that, everything changes when they can move around! She is still adorable but a bit of a handful!

I wouldn't worry about it, am sure it was meant to be a kind of compliment!

Yes, i think that he will be ok as he gets older to sit for a bit longer but honestly just at the mo i cant even contemplate sitting for a coffee as he is just a mad child twisting and screeming to be let out, throwing things and banging stuff on stuff....awful.
Its like shopping trips, ive stopped taking him to Tescos as it was too stressful.
I have started to go back with him for one or two items, in and out to introduce him to it again.
Its like one poster said, why put each of us through it.
Did you have similar problems with yours?
If so, how did you deal with it?

Also, im told that girls are better than boys behaviour wise.
Do you think that this is true?

YES a million times YES

Not sure about girls better behaved than boys... altho in my family has certainly been true!

DD is yet to have a tantrum and I am waiting with bated breath...

Don't know about boys being worse than girls - my youngest dd is much 'worse behaved' than any of the other three, including her elder brother. 'Testing' and 'difficult' describe her behaviour to a tee (sometimes - other times she can be lovely, of course) And my mum always tells me that I was much worse than my 3 brothers - can't believe it myself, of course
Your little boys sounds very normal and lively. Loved the story about him pissing on your foot - hilarious and something to embarass him with when he's older.

Well, the mother in question who made the comment has a LURVLY large paddling pool in her garden............DS did a poo in it a couple of weeks ago.......
Do you think that is why she thinks he is a horror???????
i mean its enough to make any one mad...a little lion bar floating in your kids paddling pool init?

I call DS2 Attilla. Or sometimes Angelus.

All affectionately of course.

Message withdrawn

My siter calls him Osama.....quite offensive actually!

I can never eat a lion bar again!! Donbean you are fantastic

Osama means "Lion" in Arabic. That's a great name. Would be a great name if it weren't for one particular psychotic man who happens to be named Osama...

Friend's mother was going on and on (in front of my friend!) about how wonderful my DS (2.5yo) was, so easy, so good-tempered (vs. friend's DD who the old lady had previously described as v. difficult).

Anyway, a day later I was walking road down with DS absolutely tantrumming & screaming and happened to pass friend's mum, who was completely surprised, speechless in fact.

See, every child is difficult and testing, "in their own special way".

Donbean

Ds1 was very challenging too - slept through just before he was three (now sleeps for England - hurrah!) and I wouldn't have dreamed of trying to take him to a cafe until recently (now 5 and can sit still when bribed). Unfortunately ds2 is now 2, so its still picnics in the park/on the bus/at the playground . . .

There are those mums who can drink hot chocolate in yummy looking cafes and those who can't . . .
There are those who do sleep and those who haven't had a good night's sleep for OVER FIVE YEARS (and they still haven't taken my car keys away from me!!!!)

Hang on in there! He sounds like my kind of boy and we love 'em! (Though I did have to stop seeing one very good friend and her angelic little boy as I got soo depressed at the contrast (and bloodbath!), whenever they tried to play together. We'll try again in teenage years perhaps!)

VTM

I swear that DS2 is actually twins, although I never see them both at the same time. Hence Angel/Angelus. Picking him up from nursery is an adventure every day - who will I get? Angelus or Angel...? Yesterday I got Angel. He came home with me like a little lamb. I showed him his new sandpit when we got home and he said "there's just one thing I need to do" and threw himself at my legs to hug me and tell me he loved me. On Tuesday, I got Angelus who threw a complete wobbly and refused to come with me because we weren't going to Ikea...

Much as I'd love to have Angel all the time, if he didn't have Angelus lurking in there he'd be a shadow of the character he is now. This is why I, personally, don't get offended if people call him a challenge or difficult. He is all those things but he's loveable with it

Dahlia - what's your tantrum remedy please??

Do you know i have just had this conversation with 2 very good friends.
They both said to me all the things that i needed to hear...every thing that you have all just said to me in fact and i feel tons better.
Additionally, they both commented that although my ds is a handful, they would never describe him as horrid or unlikable.
They said this while he was dismantling one of their living rooms.....so not so bad, winning on the friendship stakes so far.
(dont know if we will be invited to that house again though)