suitable punishments for 10 year old ds?

[issysmilkbottle]

can you guys give me suggestions of suitable punishments for my ds who is 10 and a half, he back chats, doesn't do as is told, doesn't listen and is sarky at times! How can I nip this in the bud?

My 10yo DD says if he has a Nintendo DS, take that off him

he has a psp but prob only plays with it once a month... He's not that into computer games, likes tv though... Might take the tv remote etc away in his room and not let him watch tv downstairs but would mean he'll be in our faces more when he's being punished... Might work though..

Any other suggestions?

Watching this thread!Need the help

What about make him do some hard jobs? Cleaning the bathroom floor on hands and knees or cleaning the kitchen bin or something else that might make him think twice before the backchat?

I much prefer positive punishment rather than negative if possible.

So cleaning the car, hoovering the bedrooms, weeding the drive or cleaning all the mirros till they are smear free

hard physical labour....that's where its at

tis funny i dont really discipline my ds at all but he backchats etc and my suggestion just popped into my head when i read this post even though ive pondered punishments myself. i might try it for myself!

sorry for typing i have a sleeping toddler on me

I've got a little of this from my 10 yr old as well, ... I've tried positive punishment but tbh that just creates more opportunities for back chat. The loss of something he really loves is the key....for my son the threat of missing football training is a major thing.
I give him plenty of warning, a couple of chances and then that would be it.. thankfully I've never had to get that far, but would have no problem going through with it...
If you come up with something brilliant though, that doesn't have negative connotations please tell me...

Watching with interest - also have a boundary-pushing 9.5 year old boy - I've been threatening and ending up having to withdraw his pocket money for the week. But it doesn't quite feel right, so I'm hoping for some better ideas.
Like the ideas about getting him to do a hard practical task - might try it next time, but there's the risk he'll flatly refuse to do it - then what?!.

Dn't make him do chores for punishment! It will make him not want to help out at other times, and make him think cleaning is smething you only have to do if you've been bad!
Agree withdrawing TV time/friend time/clubs or treats. Also, I think a bit of backchat is par, and you don't have to react to every instance. A bit of humour or ignoring in response can help diffuse.

No screen time i.e. no PC and no Wii and no TV for a given period of time (usually a day). Works v well here.

problem with the chores idea is that he loves doing chores! Pocket money not an issue as he saves it all each month anyway - spent all he'd saved on xmas presents for me, dh, dd and dsd too!

We also have the problem that he's being v fussy re food and me forcing him to have what we have ends up in arguments too!

think the tv ban might be worth trying this week....

At times if you are not careful you can be talking talking talking! (can be emotionally draining!)

I am the mum of 4 children aged 5-14. I have decided to do less talking this year. Ensure when you are talking that you have the attention of your 10 year old. I would take away what he enjoys doing. We have cancelled parties etc and taken away gadgets etc. The message will go home if you warn then ensure that you do what you said you will do. Nothing is worse than empty promises.

You will find that you are not alone in what you are facing, but stand your grounds and step up the firmness!!