12 year old ds1 is driving me up the wall

[Curiousmama]

He comes out with rubbish most of the time lately, makes stupid noises and says things like he hates me or 'do you want me to die?'

He's so bright and funny usually and we've always had a good relationship. He gets plenty of attention, is popular at school, is close to his brother and is happy generally.

I ended up screaming at him to shut up tonight because it got so very annoying. He's upstairs now because he stormed off and started banging around but all's quiet up there.

Even 9 year old ds2 is asking why is he so weird? I have no answer? Could it just be hormonal or change in school. He started comp in September. He loves it there though so it isn't an issue.

I'm at a loss and so fed up

I would think that hormones and a change of school routine would account for most of the horrible behaviour. I certainly would not tolerate being told that I was hated but my sil read an amazing book about bringing up boys that suggested that you could agree that they likely do hate you at the moment.
I would question why he would ever think that you would want him to die. Does he really feel this way or is it more like my 12 year old ds who thinks that he should be permitted to sleep, eat, read and play on the computer all day. You aren't expecting him to do any chores or pick up after-himself are you?

Hopefully it is just a phase.

Thanks for the reply Cadmum.

I may get one of those books as I've seen them but not needed one up until now.
He knows we don't want him to die it's just a phrase he says. He is quite lazy so doesn't do chores.

I hope it is a phase and he'll soon grow out of it!