What insults do your toddlers use?

[Kathyis12feethighandbites]

(assuming, of course, that they ever use insults.... dd didn't at that age but ds does).
Around here it is 'silly patch' to express mild dislike and 'poo poo patch' to express very great antipathy. Goodness knows where they get it from.

'You are norty mummy' 'very norty'

'You big ninky nonk.'

grumpy old troll
doughnut
DD is 3

You won't be getting any cake at my birthday party if you don't...

• regularly used by DD1 (3) at non-obliging DD2 - said birthday party being app. 6 months away

Very funny thread!

DD 3.8yo

Silly billy
Silly Sausage
Silly Plonker
Poo poo head (rarely said)

How come so many of our children, despite being scattered around the UK (and beyond), come up with the same insults?

Are they taught terms like poo poo head in top secret pre-school "Introduction to Insults" classes?

Or does the Insult Fairy arrive one night while the child is asleep and bestow upon them the ability to use fruit and veg as a term of abuse?

Ok everyone can a gender difference be observed here, or not? Are girls more likely to do the 'You're not my friend' type insults, while boys do 'smelly poo poo head'? Or is it gender neutral?

I've just remembered dd's other speciality, which was to list all the people she wanted to live in our house, including the au pair and au pair's boyfriend, 'but not you, Mummy. You can go to work and live there.' She was definitely more sophisticated than ds is....

dd1 - go away, just go away. Although it can't be long until new ones appear I'm already worried about the effect of pre-school on her language...

my cousin aged 3.5 suddenly came out with "grass face" after extreme provocation - (my aunty ate her kitkat finger after several warnings) It became a family insult!

DD 2.4, you're stinky and silly mummy, when really cross. More often we get I'm telling you - do it now followed by warnings of counting to 10...

I am 'nasty pasty'

its my default name, he only uses mummy if he is ill or wants sweets

You are driving me to spain......

Took ages to work out "You're driving me insane"

I also get "I'll put you in the bin"

loving this thread. having REALLY hard time with ds at the mo and this has just made me cry with laughter. thank you

Dd2 doesn't really have a great grasp of vocab yet so just says 'noooo' when she is displeased.

Dd1 used to use poopoostinkyhead or weeweeface as insults. She still actually and she is almost 6 now Although stupidhead has now been added.

Dh and I are 'Party puffers' when dd 3.7 is not very chuffed with anything we do!

My 4yo DS1 tell's me i'm getting on his nerbs! My 2yo DS2 has taken to shouting SHUU UUUP at anyone near him. How delightful!

Oh and DS1 frequently tells daddy to stop antagonising him!

I'm getting lots of 'poo poo heads' from ds3, delivered with lots of spittle and helpless laughter. And was very cutely called a 'pumpin head' (pumpkin) around halloween time.

After being caught saying a swear word at about 3, Ds was told that it was a naughty word and he shouldn't use it.

A few days later in the midst of a tantrum, he stamped his feet and screamed at me 'Your a, your a NAUGHTY WORD'

Still makes me giggle and DS is 31 now

Not a toddler and not exactly an insult, but DS yesterday told me I was his favourite Mummy. Out of a field of?

I overheard "you're a big Postman Pat-head" from a small friend of the family the other day

Poo Poo Head
Bogey Tail
Pogo Bouncer

All names that DS1 (3.10) has called me or his siblings over the past week or so.

I get "You're not my mummy any more"...

Not sure this is an insult really although when my littly aged three and half used it I think it was meant to be. On the bus coming home from a shopping trip he announced very loudly "Mummy you're so profligate!" I'm sure that some of the other travellers thought it meant something quite different! I had words with DH ...

Have to add most of the time it was
silly mummy
silly sausage
poo poo

DD1 (2.4) just says "very naughty mummy!" when I don't oblige. DD2 (1.2) just crawls after me, shaking her head and bellowing "No, no, no".

DD1 (4) came out with "Go away you worthless creature" at the swimming pool last week no idea where that came from - I'm waiting for her to bring out the Shakespearean insults soon!

DD2 (3) tells me "Ah'm gonnay sew buttons on your eyes mummy" - nice to see my Scottish accent is being picked up by her down here in sunny windy Hampshire. Coraline fan btw.